- Dr. Steadman: Well, perhaps the lieutenant would like to see a menu?
- Columbo: Ah, that won't be necessary, sir.
- [as Maitre D' walks away with back turned,]
- Columbo: I'll just have a BLT on white toast and cream soda.
- Maitre D': [Maitre D' abruptly turns around, and while filling out menu, says] One embarcadero garni.
- Columbo: Thank you very much.
- [Looking at Dr. Steadman's plate]
- Columbo: What are they, snails?
- Dr. Steadman: Escargo dipped in garlic butter. Flavor is fantastic.
- Columbo: Oh garlic, that's what I smell. What's it for?
- [pause]
- Columbo: To kill the taste of the snails?
- Maitre D': [Returning with plate 5 minutes later] Your embarcadero, sir. Garni.
- Columbo: Ah, excuse me, I just ordered a B.L.T., what's all this?
- Maitre D': That's garni, sir.
- Columbo: Oh. Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not feeling too hungry. Maybe you could put this in a doggie bag and I'll eat it on the plane?
- Maitre D': [With expression of disdain] Of course, sir.
- Columbo: Thank you. Ah, just the sandwich. The garni... you can keep the garni.
- Columbo: You know who would love this? My wife. That woman is crazy about marmalade. Me, I can't stand the stuff. Got too much bumps in it.
- Columbo: The lady has dropped a trail of crumbs leading right to Victor Connolly's doorstep. The least I can do is oblige.
- Columbo: Gracie, what happened, you lost the chef?
- Gracie: Chef?
- Columbo: Brama, the big guy. He had one brown eye, one blue.
- Gracie: He went back to Mazatlan two months ago. We have a new guy back there, now, Heinrich.
- Columbo: Heinrich? You got a guy named Heinrich to make Chili?
- [Gets up to leave]
- Columbo: Keep the change.
- [Puts money on counter. Turns to sergeant]
- Columbo: Come on Brady, I gotta walk this stuff off.
- [Walking outside]
- Columbo: My wife told me that that stuff was gonna kill me some day. I think she was right.
- Columbo: What kinda house sells for 5.7 million? Must have a lot of bedrooms!
- Vivian Dimitri: Yes, eight, I think.
- Columbo: What is it, some kind of mansion?
- Vivian Dimitri: Well, not exactly. It needs a little work, but it's in the right neighborhood.
- Columbo: Needs work? You mean it's a fixer?
- Vivian Dimitri: Well, I wouldn't go that far!
- Columbo: I'm sorry. The one thing I hate to do is lose my temper, but the sergeant ... I don't think all his switches are working.