Telefon Terror

Whoopi Goldberg's out of work actress spends the nights in her small apartment talking on the telephone to anyone who'll listen, her lifeline to the world and if not on the phone, entertaining the house guests; an owl and pet goldfish. That sums it up, really, that's it.

"THE TELEPHONE" directed by Rip Torn is executed like a stage-play, relying on Goldberg's presence; eccentric comic ability, interactions with her pets (foot bathing with a goldfish) and minor exchanges with a couple of actors (Severn Darden, Elliott Gould & John Heard). It's so random, almost improvised that you don't know where it's heading. You can say it's ambitious, even alienating. Once it hits the apartment, we can hear what's happening outside (traffic, voices, music), but that's where the camera stays, as we watch Goldberg ramble on until the cows come home. From trivial normality issues, venting or making low-brow jokes on the telephone, deciphering messages on the answering machine to stand-up comedy routines of impersonating nationalities, changing personas, watching footage of her standup comedy and even loudly acting out more than one person at the same time to annoy her complaining neighbors. Zany comic monologues after monologues after monologues, it's like watching someone bored out of their mind. Sex gags, toilet humour and stereotypical race jokes, but without an ounce of wit.

The one-idea concept while offbeat grows tiresome and at times crude. I didn't find it all that humorous, just bemused by it all. You don't learn that much about her character, head space wise, until she's around people in separate cameos of Darden, Gould (along with Amy Wright) and especially Heard. Her scenes at the end with Heard's telephone man is the poignant hook, as it can be both funny and sad, jarringly so, in what we learn of her obsession with the telephone.

I rented this movie from a small video rental store in Los Angeles, and found it to be hilarious. I've been looking for it ever since and I have not been able to find it. This little known early work of Whoopi G shows you want we had in store. Her comedic timing is splendid. SEE IT IF YOU CAN FIND IT... and then let me know! I want a copy!

Whoopi... you go girl!

I've never seen a movie like this before in my life. Whoopi's peformance is nothing short of remarkable if the film itself is nothing short of incoherent. Its hard to really like this movie but its impossible to not get sucked in.

I saw this movie by accident once and i was stunned...One woman holds an entire movie creating you -the viewers- the feeling of communication...Whoopi relies on her talent to make you laugh...(Watch the scene while she is a chinese chef)..sometimes a bit more than she should.Nevertheless,it's ending gives you a "sixth sense" feeling.(Meaning an element turns upside down all that you think till now). A true original that gives a real challenge to any actor.

Little-seen comedy is out-of-order. Whoopi Goldberg-addicts were still around in 1988, despite the star's penchant for playing in dumb action-comedies that tarnished her overall appeal. Still, even hardcore fans would be hard-pressed to sit through this misfire, a troubled production that Whoopi tried unsuccessfully from getting released. She plays Vashti Blue--a terrific character name--an actress with a pet owl (!) who spends much of her time arguing on the phone. Vashti is neurotic, but not funny; Goldberg was encouraged to improvise dialogue by the suits at New World Pictures to bring some of her sassy stand-up act to the picture, much to the displeasure of Rip Torn, who directed. Torn was apparently in over his head--and seems to be a mismatch with Goldberg's fast-patter urban style. The screenplay (by Harry Nilsson and Terry Southern, of all people) doesn't offer us anything but a harangue, and Whoopi's star-presence fails to give it an edge. Shapeless and static. Goldberg had veteran cinematographer John A. Alonzo fired during production, replacing him with her husband, David Claessen. She also says her cocaine addiction was a factor in the film not working, but that "potheads absolutely love it."