- Sean: Angela... You're Angela Baker, the Angel of Death. I should have called you Peter.
- Angela: My name is Angela Johnson.
- Sean: You're Angela Baker. You killed all those kids at Camp Arawak.
- Angela: I've been Angela Johnson for four years.
- Sean: How did you get this job here?
- Angela: Easy. I've got great recommendations from doctors, psychiatrists, even clergymen. I did my time. Two years of therapy, electroshock, was on every pill you ever heard of, plus an operation. I'm completely cured. If I wasn't they wouldn't have let me out. How do you know so much about me?
- Sean: My dad's a cop. He helped arrest you. You should have heard him the day you got out.
- Angela: That's too bad. Wait 'til he hears what's happened to you.
- Angela: [after stabbing Ally] Get up. Get up! Get in there. Get in the toilet!
- [shoves Ally into outhouse]
- Angela: What's down there?
- Angela: Answer me!
- Ally: Shit!
- Angela: That's right one of your favorite words. Do you mind if I borrow it for a moment? You've been a shitty friend and a shitty camper. What else is down there? Answer me!
- Ally: Piss!
- Angela: You've pissed away your good looks and God-given talent your whole life and turned it into nothing but a cynical dirty mouth waste of flesh! What else is down there?
- Ally: I dunno!
- Angela: Well, then, I guess you're just going to have to climb in and find out.
- Angela: Leeches, Ally! For a leech like you!
- Angela: You should have been the first to go.
- Angela: Ooooh, I'm a happy camper, I love the summer sun. I love the trees and forest, I'm always having fun! Ooooh, I'm a happy camper, I love the clear blue sky, and with the grace of God, I'll camp until I die!
- [the Shit sisters are mocking Angela's happy camper's song]
- Brooke: Oh, I'm a happy camper, I love the clear blue sky, but only when I'm shitfaced, so everyone get high! Oh, I'm a happy camper, I love to drink and fuck, and if you pay me money, on my titties you can suck.
- Phoebe: It ended up that the killer was the shy 14 year old girl that everybody picked on. Only this girl, she wasn't a girl. She was really a he. His aunt had been dressing him up like a girl ever since he was four years old. They found him naked on the beach holding the chopped off head of another camper. About 30 people were killed and the camp had to be closed down.
- Uncle John: I used to brag that every good kid in New York came here, but now I have trouble filling half the cabins with god knows who. Whatever happened to the good kids in the world?
- Angela: Don't talk like that, Uncle John. There's lots of good kids. We just have to weed out the bad.
- Angela: Too bad they haven't figured out a way to make french fries nutritious. I'm a nut when it comes to french fries!
- Ally: [after sex] That was great, thanks a lot. That was fun.
- Ally: Listen, you don't have AIDS or anything, do you?
- Rob Darrinco: No!
- Ally: Great! See ya!
- [first lines]
- T.C.: But if anyone heard her, they didn't answer. Soon, she found herself in front of the old mausoleum. Michelle had no choice. She had to go inside and look for help. She opened the creaking door and crept slowly into the lobby. She called out. Again, there was only silence. Then suddenly, behind her, she heard a sound. She turned around and saw her boyfriend, Steve, with his belt wrapped around his neck, hanging from the back from the door! And he was drenched in blood.
- Charlie: What happened next?
- Judd: He screwed her.
- T.C.: Nice language.