- Michelle: What kind of human being are you?
- Austin: When I was eight years old, I took off all my clothes and painted myself blue. Then I climbed up on the roof of a house, I placed both thumbs on the base of a lightning rod, and faced the electromagnetic north pole. Why? Why did I do that?
- Michelle: How should I know?
- Austin: Well, when you figure it out, then you'll know what kind of human being I am.
- John Bolt: Pride is one of the seven deadly sins, Mr. James. Or is it one of the seven dwarves? I can never remember.
- [after her boss has another hyperactive burst of activity]
- Michelle: I see now. You can't help yourself. This happens all the time. You can't stop.
- [in his workshop/laboratory]
- Austin: Why do men blink three times every ten seconds, and women only twice? What part of the brain is the soul located in? What was the blood-clotting mechanism of a tyranosaurus? Nobody knows. But the answers are here. And I'm going to find them. That's what kind of place this is. It's the universe!
- Austin: I'm going to take you on the greatest adventure of your life. You probably'll never even thank me. Let's go.
- John Blaine: You don't care about people, Austin. You don't see the suffering, the injustices. You sit in that warehouse like a spoiled god, while the world hurts.
- Michelle: I thought you never lied.
- Austin: I don't. It's just that sometimes I withhold the qualifiers.
- Michelle: For somebody who says facts are all that count, Mr. Jimmy Austin, you're the most deceitful person I know.
- Austin: I once determined that there are forty-nine different ways to misrepresent the truth. I only use six, way below the national average of thirty-two.
- Michelle: If you're so smart, how come you let a computer program chase you into a crummy laundromat?