- Cabbie #1: So, you're getting married?
- Loudon Trott: Yep. Tomorrow at noon, I'm marrying Wendy Worthington.
- Cabbie #1: You? Nah.
- Loudon Trott: What?
- Cabbie #1: You marrying Wendy Worthington? I can't see it. You're not her type.
- Loudon Trott: You know Wendy Worthington?
- Cabbie #1: Sure. Wendy from Scarsdale. I had her in the cab once.
- Loudon Trott: Well, just because you happened to have given her a ride, that doesn't mean that you know her type.
- Cabbie #1: I didn't say I gave her a ride. I said I had her in the cab.
- [Loudon slumps back in his seat looking mortified as the cab stops]
- Cabbie #1: Here we are. That'll be $6.50.
- Loudon Trott: I don't have any money.
- Cabbie #1: Oh, forget it. For any friend of Wendy's.
- Nurse #1: [in the hospital corridor, with Loudon being rolled along on a gurney] Are you his wife?
- Nikki Finn: Mm-hmm.
- Nurse #1: I'm going to need some information. What's his name?
- Nikki Finn: Loudon.
- Nurse #1: *Loudon*?... *Loudon* what?
- Nikki Finn: Clear.
- Nurse #1: *Loudon Clear.* Mrs. Clear, have you noticed anything wrong with your husband recently?
- Nikki Finn: Well, he hasn't exactly been Valentino in the sack lately, if that's what you mean.
- Nikki Finn: Hey, a mall! Ha ha!... As long as we're here, can we go in for a few seconds? I can't go back to Philly without any presents for my mom - she thinks I've been shopping.
- Loudon Trott: For four years?
- Nikki Finn: Mm-hmm. So I can't exactly go back empty-handed, 'cause it isn't very nice.
- [Loudon and Nikki are in a taxi cab tailing a UPS truck to a large house]
- Loudon Trott: [to the driver] That's the truck. Pull over here.
- Cabbie #2: [Jamaican accent] Hey, this is where Wendy Worthington lives.
- Loudon Trott: Yeah, that's right. How do you know Wendy Worthington lives here?
- Cabbie #2: I had her in my cab once.
- [Loudon pays the cabbie and exits the taxi, once again looking mortified]
- Nikki Finn: C'mon, Loudon, haven't you ever done anything you were proud of?
- Loudon Trott: Well, I used to be really good at fencing.
- Nikki Finn: See? There you go. I knew ya had it in ya.
- Loudon Trott: Yeah, but of course my father would never come watch me.
- Nikki Finn: Why would your father wanna watch you turn over stolen goods? You're twisted!
- Louden Trott: We did one of your things already. We murdered the pimp and the fat man. Now it's time to do one of MY things.
- [an elderly cab driver pulls up outside the Worthington mansion]
- Cabbie #3: Hey, what's going on here?
- Sandy - Wendy's Friend, Heather - Wendy's friend, Rachel - Wendy's Friend, Denise - Wendy's Friend, Holly - Wendy's Friend: We're trying to get in!
- Cabbie #3: Oh, hang on. I'll open the gate. Wendy gave me the keys. I had her in my cab once.
- Detective Doyle: [heading for the sporty red car] No, no, Dave, let's take this car.
- Detective Bellson: [taken aback] What!
- Detective Doyle: [referring to the other car - a big dark-colored sedan] This thing says "undercover cop" all over it. Come on.
- Detective Bellson: [sarcastically] Yeah, right. Let's take the one that has "pretentious asshole" written all over it.
- Nikki Finn: Cops stop me, they find Johnny in a lot of pieces in the back of my car. Judge called it a "crime of passion."
- Nikki Finn: [slight pause] Hey, I liked Johnny, but not enough to kill him.
- Tiffany Salesman: [Nikki is passing herself off as Loudon's sister to the jewelry store clerk, who is more than a little suspicious] Sister? I wasn't aware Mr. Trott had a sister.
- Nikki Finn: Been away a few years.
- Tiffany Salesman: Boarding school?
- Nikki Finn: *Boarding school,* right.
- Tiffany Salesman: Switzerland?
- Nikki Finn: Excuse me?
- Tiffany Salesman: I said, was the school Swiss?
- Nikki Finn: Sure. Sure, one of the Swissest.
- Montgomery Bell: Excuse the mess. I recently lost Elwood my housekeeper.
- Loudon Trott: He quit?
- Montgomery Bell: No, no, no. I lost him. I think he is in the west wing somewhere. Sometimes at night I think I hear him crying. It's most distressing.
- Louden Trott: Just tell me, I won't be upset. I really just want to know. Are you the Anti-Christ? You can tell me, really. I won't be mad. You are, aren't you?
- Wendy Worthington: You'll take care of me, won't you, Buck?
- Buck: Of course I will. I'm very muscular.
- Nikki Finn: [in a sing-song voice, as she races to pass a train before it reaches the intersection] We'll make it!
- Loudon Trott: I'll accept anything but a tie.
- Nikki Finn: [after jumping from one building over to another, to Loudon] Jump!
- Loudon Trott: [reaching the edge of the building, nervous] What?
- Nikki Finn: Come on!
- Loudon Trott: Are you insane?
- Nikki Finn: I did it, you can do it!
- Loudon Trott: You're a criminal, I'm a tax attorney! I'll be all right here, I'm sure somebody'll call the cops.
- Nikki Finn: They are the cops!
- Loudon Trott: [shots are being fired behind him, nonstop] AHH!
- Loudon Trott: [nervously] Maybe if I just explain...
- Nikki Finn: Explain what, Trott? That we were buyin' four stolen semi-automatic weapons on your gold card?
- Loudon Trott: [jumps frantically to the next building] OK!
- Loudon Trott: I'm getting married tomorrow.
- Nikki Finn: Oh, great. What's her name?
- Loudon Trott: Wendy.
- Nikki Finn: Oh, Wendy. That's a nice name. I'd like to meet her.
- Loudon Trott: Well, you two really don't have much in common. See, she being a mere human person, you being a force of nature.
- Prison Oficer: One black leather jacket; one plastic comb, blue; two studded leather bracelets, black; and one lipstick, fire-engine red.
- Donovan: [sarcastically] All your worldly possessions.
- Nikki Finn: [speaking of the lipstick] Don't knock it, Donovan. You can't get this shade-a red anymore.
- Montgomery Bell: I love this infuriating town. I love women who laugh. I love women who refuse to laugh, wonton soup, Halloween, I love all these things in different ways. None sweeter than the other. Life is grand.
- Nikki Finn: I know exactly what you mean, Mr. Bell.
- Loudon Trott: I'm not letting you out of my sight. I gave my word, I would see you on that bus. And until that glorious moment comes, you and I are stuck together like *glue* - like Mutt and Jeff, Amos and Andy, Frick and Frack, Spic 'n Span, Yin and Yang, Arm and Hammer, Pork and Beans.
- Nikki Finn: [pointing at wall with "dead end sign" into which she has just crashed a car] I'm sorry, officer, but my husband, see, he's having a heart attack and I had to rush him to the hospital and I must not have been paying attention because I took a wrong turn and is this the way?
- Nikki Finn: Hey! You know what I think, huh? I think that you want to stay with me. Yeah. But you just can't admit it.
- Loudon Trott: [taken aback] You think that I'd want to stay with you? I mean, that I would actually *want* to stay with *you*? Do you believe this? Lady, I'm surprised your *shadow* keeps you company!
- Loudon Trott: Sir, how dangerous is this person?
- Simon Worthington: Her bark is much worse than her bite.
- Loudon Trott: Does she bite, sir?
- Nikki Finn: We gotta get outta this town. Find some sun. We both could use it. You know, look at me - four years in the can and pale as a ghost.