- Pimmie Polk: [making an ice cream sundae for a little boy on the plane] And, how would you like your nuts crushed?
- Boy: [pulls out a toy gun] How would you like your tits shot off?
- Larry Falkwell: [after putting Kelly under hypnosis] Kelly Johnson...
- Kelly Johnson: Yes?
- Larry Falkwell: You are the most graceful person on earth.
- Kelly Johnson: I am?
- Larry Falkwell: Yes!
- Kelly Johnson: Course I am.
- Larry Falkwell: You have the skill of a ballerina, the, the hands of a surgeon, the, the dexterity of a... Japanese sushi chef. Now, when I snap my fingers, you will wake up feeling like the great new person you are.
- [the Mad Bomber puts an hallucinogen-type drug, possibly LSD, in the FAA inspector's drink. Later, after the inspector consumed his drink, the Bomber returns to his seat after he set up the bomb in the lavatory, to see the drug taking effect on the inspector. The inspector goes totally berserk]
- Mad Bomber: Are you all right?
- FAA Inspector: [moving and shaking uncontrollably] I feel... strange, like this is all... in a dream.
- Mad Bomber: You mean, a nightmare!
- [laughing maniacally as the inspector freaks out]
- Mad Bomber: What are you most afraid of?
- FAA Inspector: [grunting] Confinement... closed spaces...
- Mad Bomber: It's awful tight in here, ISN'T IT?
- [the inspector screams and yells, scaring the passengers, while the Bomber laughs hysterically; to the stewardesses and passengers]
- Mad Bomber: Something's wrong with him.
- [Sugar DuBois lustfully strolls inside the Doctor's office]
- Doctor Mackie: [Washing his face and hands] I'll be will you in a moment.
- Sugar Dubois: [Strips her top off; seductively] Do you want me to take my clothes off?
- Doctor Mackie: Well, I don't think that...
- [shocked, but then soon aroused]
- Doctor Mackie: would be a bad idea.
- Sugar Dubois: [Starts to then take off her bra] Gosh, I hope you don't have cold hands.
- Poodle Lady: [to her poodle] Oh, now, Poofy, don't you be a naughty girl.
- George Bunkle: I'm sorry Madam, but you'll have to put your Poofy in the box.
- Poodle Lady: Awwwww. Perhaps you'd do it for me?
- George Bunkle: [the poodle growls at him] What, are you high, lady?
- George Bunkle: Hi. You wanna play hide the salami?
- [woman smacks him to the floor]
- George Bunkle: Guess a blowjob's out of the question.