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Gérard Depardieu and Pierre Richard in Der Hornochse und sein Zugpferd (1981)

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Der Hornochse und sein Zugpferd

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  • Campana: [to Perrin] Life was a bore before I met you.
  • The Captain: [Perrin has just had another accident] This must not be his day.
  • Campana: It's *never* his day.
  • Meyer: [explaining to Campana why Perrin should help find Marie Bens] A man like you can't do it; you're normal. But an unlucky guy will slip on the same banana peels she does. *He* can find her.
  • Meyer: [to Campana, talking about Perrin] He was hired two years ago. I tested him then; I've observed him since. He's phenomenal.
  • Campana: He looks normal, though.
  • Meyer: He was a seven-month baby, and guess what happened to his incubator? It broke down.
  • Campana: I don't believe in bad luck. Bullshit!
  • Meyer: You heard of Eugene Delacroix, the painter?
  • Campana: Yes.
  • Meyer: At three, he was nearly strangled by a curtain cord. Then his mosquito net caught fire; he was badly burned. While he was recovering, he was dropped into some water. By a miracle, he was saved but then he choked on some grapes. That is all absolutely true; Delacroix is an example of incredible bad luck.
  • François Perrin: [to Campana] You've been unlucky so far, but with me that will change.
  • François Perrin: [to Campana, on board the plane to Brazil before it takes off] Do you like to fly? I love to, but last time we had a problem... we almost crashed. It was at Orly; the wing flaps got stuck. We nosed into a field.
  • [Campana stares at Perrin]
  • François Perrin: Happens often, it seems.
  • François Perrin: [to Campana, talking about Mademoiselle Martin] I like her... she helped me up when I was electrocuted.
  • Campana: Electrocuted?
  • François Perrin: At the office, plugging in the orange juice machine.
  • [he looks up at Campana and smiles]
  • François Perrin: I got juice, all right.
  • François Perrin: [Campana has just realized that Arbal, the man they're looking for, was in the gambling club they just left] Okay, you have no memory for faces; it's no tragedy.
  • Campana: [to Perrin] I don't believe in magic! I believe in logic! Do you know what logic is? I'm a rational, logical man! I don't rely on coincidence to solve a case!
  • Campana: [he's just realized that Perrin is sinking in quicksand] What's happening now?
  • François Perrin: I don't know... I'm sinking.
  • Campana: Why?
  • François Perrin: I don't know why.
  • Campana: Stop clowning when I talk to you!
  • François Perrin: I'm not clowning! I'm really sinking!
  • Campana: Why aren't *I* sinking?
  • François Perrin: You're on good sand and I'm in quicksand. *You're* the one who wanted a short cut!
  • Campana: And you don't even react?
  • François Perrin: If I do, I'll go in farther... everyone knows that!
  • Campana: Perrin, they didn't show any quicksand on the map!
  • François Perrin: Then it's time they did!
  • François Perrin: [Campana has just pulled Perrin out of the quicksand; Perrin laughs] Shit! I lost a shoe!
  • Campana: [slowly smiles and also laughs] Don't you ever rest?
  • Meyer: [to Mr. Bens] Until we have proof she's dead, I won't believe it! She's had too much bad luck for us to give up hope! She has a fantastic guardian angel! He's had so much work with her that he's an expert! We've got to trust him!
  • Campana: [they've arrived at the mission; it's a total ruin and deserted] Did an earthquake do this?
  • François Perrin: Or a tornado. It reminds me of my parents' house. They had one near Paris.
  • Campana: A tornado in Paris?
  • François Perrin: No, I left the gas on and...
  • [he flips a hand up to indicate what happened, then walks off. Campana stares after him]
  • Arbal: [he's just been shot] Nothing but trouble... I knew it.
  • [he dies]
  • Prisoner: [the guards are coming to their cell] Here they come! They'll pick one of us at random and beat him to a pulp! That's their idea of fun!
  • François Perrin: [to Campana] What'd he say?
  • Campana: [looks hard at Perrin] They'll beat one of us up.
  • [he keeps staring at Perrin]
  • François Perrin: [finally notices Campana staring at him] Why stare at me that way?
  • [Campana shrugs]
  • François Perrin: [he notices Campana's shoelace is untied] Your shoestring...
  • Campana: [kneels down to tie his shoelace; it breaks. He stares at it, then at Perrin, almost scared] I broke it!
  • François Perrin: It's no tragedy.
  • Campana: [standing up, staring at the broken shoelace in his hand] It's a sign.
  • François Perrin: A sign of what?
  • Campana: [pause, then] Never mind.
  • François Perrin: [to Campana] So much has happened to me since I met you.
  • Campana: [looks at Perrin, then] To me too.
  • Campana: [he hands Perrin his gun] You need this more than I do.

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