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They're Playing with Fire (1984)

* (out of 4)

Married college professor Diane Stevens (Sybil Danning) seduces her student Jay (Eric Brown) and then asks him to do a favor for her and her husband Michael (Andrew Prine). Before long the husband's rich mother and grandmother are dead and Jay feels that they set him up.

THEY'RE PLAYING FOR FIRE is one of those movies that you should start around one thirty in the morning. You know, just when you're starting to get tired but you want to watch something. This is without question one of the strangest movies I've seen from this era and especially since it really doesn't know what it wants to do. I became aware of the movie thanks to a review by Roger Ebert where he pretty much went off on the picture and it's easy to see why he would.

The film starts off like a teen sex comedy where the sexy teachers seduces the boy. We then get a couple really graphic murders and the film turns into a murder mystery. As the movie plays out there's a hooded killer going around killing people in some rather graphic ways so out of nowhere this film turns into a slasher and you'll be surprised at how much blood the film got pass the MPAA. This film really is all over the map in terms of what it's trying to do but those who enjoy horror films will want to count this one as a slasher.

The film is pretty darn bad but thankfully it's so weird and bizarre that you can't help but keep watching. Danning appears naked throughout 40% of the movie and that alone makes it worth watching. If you didn't see enough of her in HOWLING II: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF then you'll be happy to know that there's even more nudity here. Prine is good in his role as the husband but it's always nice seeing him. The real problem with the cast is Brown. He's just not all that interesting. I'm not sure if the director made him give this type of performance or what but it makes for a very shallow and very boring character. Just look at how nervous and awkward he appears to be during the sex scenes!

THEY'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE really is a lousy movie but it has enough nudity and enough blood to make it worth viewing.

But I guess you'd be hard press not to take the risk of getting burnt! "I don't know what he sees in her?" Huh! Well simply who would want to knock back the advancements of the Austrian born blonde buxom Sybil Danning. Oh she sizzles and it's difficult not to ogle, as the director takes every opportunity to focus on her curvy shape in a very desirable manner. Plenty of instances we find Danning in the buff and everything seems to play secondary to her T&A.

The highly attractive English professor Diane Stevens seduces her gullible student Jay in a plan crafted by her husband Michael to inherit his family's fortune. However things turn pear shape when murder becomes apart of it.

In the 80s Eric Red was living every teenage boy's wet dream, as only years before he was getting it on with another European goddess Sylvia Kristel in "Private Lessons". So the hormones go crazy once again. But while the two films share some similarities, "They're Playing with Fire" is less light-headed being a lot more sleazy and spiteful in mixing elements of popular teenage sex comedies and jarring slasher traits. Holding this exploitation together is a deviously plotted murder-mystery soapish narrative. Even with the paranoid reactions, deceitful manipulation and masked intentions where nothing seems quite as it is. It kind of gets obvious just who's behind it due to the minor red herrings and the clues that sprung up, so we're left to hang around to wait for the motivation for the homicidal madness. It's quite overlong in its quest to reach its messy, silly revelation too. As for the shocks they're surprisingly nasty and bloody, but still clumsily handled by director Howard Avedis and the eccentric script consists of plenty sharp stabs of irony. Covering the film's soundtrack is numerous cheese-grated rock ballads with the seductive title song leading the way. The acting is colourful enough; Danning is a talented actress than just a figure and her strong presence shows it. Red is fitting and Andrew Prine is great as her vain husband. Offering fine support are Paul Clemens, K.T Stevens, Dominick Brascia and Alvy Moore.

It's an odd, neurotic and junky combination altogether, but incredibly amusing nonetheless.

Some of the Database comments on this movie are mind-boggling. In this movie, Danning conspicuously displays what she's best-known for, and it sure ain't her thespian skills, buddy.

Her three sex scenes in the movie are unbelievably enthusiastic and should send most slobbering males to the fast-forward button to find the next such scene. The rest of the movie is a dreary slasher thriller that, most incredulously, even manages a happy ending. You know what level the movie's at when the student whom Danning is deflowering tries to carry on a mundane conversation while this busty vixen is on top

If I'd had a teacher at college who looked like Sybil Danning, I wouldn't have got much work done. Come to think of it, my teacher was a middle-aged man with a beard, and I still didn't get much work done. Aah, those lazy, hazy college days....

Eric Brown plays Jay Richard, the English student who gets to boff his beautiful, busty professor Diana in exchange for doing a few jobs: varnishing her yacht (not a euphemism) and sneaking into the home of her husband's mother and grandmother to scare the old women enough so that Diane and hubbie Michael (Andrew Prine) can be made executors of the estate. As is par for the course in this kind of trash, things don't go according to plan, with a masked murderer on the loose causing all sorts of problems for poor Jay.

The incredible Ms. Danning is the main reason to watch this otherwise lacklustre thriller, the hard-bodied hottie regularly stripping off to give us a good look at her amazing attributes. Without her to steam up the screen, the film would be largely forgettable, with a dumb plot that will have you screaming at Jay throughout, "Go to the police, NOW!" (but bang Diane one last time before you do).

What starts as a saucy slice of teenage wish-fulfilment slowly turns into a sub-standard '80s slasher, with the bodies piling up, and Jay teaming up with Diane to solve the mystery. The killer is fairly unimposing - far removed from unstoppable giants such as Jason and Michael Myers - and has a tendency to speak like Elmo from Sesame Street, which makes him even less scary.

Unmissable stuff for fans of its voluptuous, frequently naked female star, but as a thriller/horror, it's merely passable.

The voluptuous Sybil Danning is apparently considered to be the chief attraction of this film for most viewers, but the plot also holds some inherent interest as a murder mystery. Unfortunately, the film is visually ugly and murky, and it's further hampered by a totally arbitrary, out-of-the-blue resolution. (**)