- Whore #1: [In whorehouse when first seeing Pondo] He's got a face only a cockroach could love.
- Pondo Sinatra: You want some champaign?
- Natasha: I can do without the "cham", just give me the pain...
- Elbow: Why ya think we call pussy, 'pussy'?
- Pondo Sinatra: Why I don't know sir.
- Elbow: 'Cause it's furry? Nah. 'Cause it's warm. Uh-uh. 'Cause it scratch when it gets angry? Nah. Well what, den? Now it don't purr, and it don't meOOOOW. Then why do we call it 'pussy'?
- Pondo Sinatra: I don't know sir.
- Elbow: 'Cause that old hound dog gonna eat it up! YOU gotta to be the hound dog. You gotta let that pussy know you da hound dog. Put it in your mind, be it in your body: hound dog's gonna eat that pussy!
- Pondo Sinatra: I... am not an animal
- Man in townsfolk lynch mob: [after long pause] Bullshit! That's an animal!
- Whore #2: [with heavy Brooklyn accent] I'd ratha fuck my fawtha.
- Pondo Sinatra: [Inside sex shop, holding up giant double-dong] What's this for?
- Porn Store Owner: Twins.
- The Professor: [giving lecture in classroom] Absolutely anything is possible: from interstellar communications to ze development of a functioning aphrodisiac. Now, let us first look...
- Pondo Sinatra: [raising his hand and interrupting the professor] Uh, Professor Schmidt
- The Professor: Ja, Herr Sinatra
- Pondo Sinatra: What is an aphrodisiac?
- The Professor: Ze word aphrodisiac comes from ze African root
- [writing on the chalkboard]
- The Professor: 'APHRO' meaning large penis, und ze Greek 'DISIAC' which means want it bad.