Jungle Warriors

A group of fashion models travel with their producer Larry (Marjoe Gortner) and pilot/guide Ben (Kai Wulff) to a South American jungle for a photo assignment. What could possibly go wrong?

Jungle Warriors is worth seeing for any self-respecting fan of crap B-movies if only for its horrible theme song, which has to be the most tuneless bit of warbling ever to grace a movie. The woman responsible for this insult to music lovers everywhere is Italian singer Marina Arcangeli: I'm guessing that her surname translates as Archangel, but let me assure you that there's nothing angelic about her voice, which is pure audible evil, sucking at the soul with every screeching syllable.

Abysmal title song aside, this film is a fairly routine piece of cheesy 80s European action with a predictably dumb plot: the models are captured by a gang of ruthless drug runners who occupy a nearby Spanish fortress and, after their male companions are killed (Larry is caught in a booby trap, Ben has his head hacked off), they are left at the mercy of the despicable baddies, who rape and torture them. Escape is, of course, inevitable, but how many of them will make it out of the jungle alive?

This nonsense is made slightly more bearable thanks to a solid cast that includes seasoned genre regulars Paul L. Smith, John Vernon, Woody Strode, and Sybil Danning. Beware, however, of the severely edited R2 version of the film: the copy that I saw had clearly suffered at the scissors of the censors, the more extreme moments shorn of gore and nudity, making the experience rather frustrating for exploitation fans such as myself.

5/10 (although it might possibly be worth a 6 with the juicier stuff intact).

That's the gist of this very lively and very amusing trash. It's paced incredibly well, features the required dose of delectable nudity and exploitation, and is overall pretty well shot. It also features a B movie cast to die for, which is what may bring this diversion to the attention of sleaze aficionados. The godawful theme song is one debit, but that can't do much to affect the basic entertainment value of this thing. It gets off to a fine start and eventually leads to a wild finale with lots of gunfire and squib use and explosions. Director & producer Ernst R. von Theumer, brought into to replace the fired Billy Fine, knows full well what kind of movie he's making and does his best to ensure that the viewers have a good time.

A bevy of babes fly to an unnamed South American country to scout locations for a photo shoot, not knowing that they're doing this at a bad time. A major deal is going down between an American mobster, Vito Mastranga (John Vernon) and powerful drug lord Cesar Santiago (Paul L. Smith). The plane in which the models travel ventures too close to the drug lords' domain, and is subsequently shot down. The girls and their companions, Joanna Quinn (Nina van Pallandt), Larry (Marjoe Gortner), Laura (the ever bubbly Louisa Moritz), and pilot Ben Sturges (Kai Wulff) are captured by Cesars' minions and tortured by his kinky lesbian sister Angel (Sybil Danning, looking mighty fine as always).

The cast of familiar faces also includes Alex Cord as Vitos' concerned nephew Nick, Woody Strode as an efficient goon in Cesars' employ, and Dana Elcar as a federal agent. It's a treat to see all of them here. Danning is particularly juicy, but Smith, as could be expected, is an absolute hoot as a tough as nails baddie. The ladies playing the models are lovely. The story is a pretty straightforward one, and it moves along nicely to that aforementioned action climax.

This one doesn't appear to be that well known, so if you're looking for lesser known B level sleaze epics from decades past, give it a look.

Eight out of 10.

A seemingly ordinary jungle action fare, this one benefits from a couple of notable twists, the main one being the group of heroines consisting of models! Although this probably helps to make this film utterly unbelievable, that is in turn heightened by good villanous casting, giving us no less than four major "bad guys", including the seldom disappointing Woody Strode and never disappointing Sybil Danning.

Add to this mixture the total lack of any concern for realism, and you get what I call an entertaining little picture. OK, it's not a masterpiece on any level, but it is good at what it wants to be.

Released on video in Finland in the early eighties.

This is an 80s actioner about as generic as they come, only without good action, without memorable characters, and even without sexiness (which should have been the point of putting fashion models in the jungle). The thing is, this could have been soooo much better if anyone really had put some passion into this project. The setup has a lot of potential, but nearly every single opportunity gets wasted by bad writing or directing. The pretty girls get no sexy scenes, the villains get offed in very uninteresting ways (and much too quickly - what a waste of Sybil Danning), the heroes don't get much heroing to do, and the jungle setting is used for maybe 10 minutes.

That the movie had potential is witnessed by the fact that I was able to sit through it without fast-forwarding; despite all its flaws it's at least quickly paced and loud - 5/10.

While filming a photo shoot in the jungles of Central America, an airplane carrying the producer and several fashion models is shot down and they are subsequently forced to travel on foot in order to escape the vicious drug dealers who are after them. Unfortunately, the producer named "Larry Schecter" (Marjoe Gortner) is soon killed and they are all taken captive and led back to the jungle mansion where the sadistic drug warlord named "Cesar Santiago" (Paul L. Smith) is anxiously awaiting them. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this film had some potential but the weak acting and rather meandering plot greatly affected the movie as a whole. However, for what it's worth, I thought the presence of Suzi Horne (as "Pam Ross"), Mindi Iden ("Marci") and to a lesser extent Nina van Pallandt ("Joanna Quinn") brightened the scenery to a certain degree--but that still wasn't enough to overcome the general lack of intensity and passion shown in this film. Because of that I have rated this movie accordingly. Slightly below average.