Hardbodies

Hey, at least this movie is what it is! A t & a classic. And, what a concept: 3 older bachelors hire a younger guy to party with them and train them on how to pick up younger women? C'mon, that's a beautiful script. Genius! All guys should rent it, especially to see the characters come clean in the end... Moral to the story: it is more important to just be yourself.

This film is a good waste of time if you like gratuitous nudity and bad acting. Watch it on a rainy day.

Back in the 60's, the Beach movie was a popular genre in the fluff-type of film that was prevalent then, but Frankie and Annette were not the ideal types that looked good in bathing suits (Linda Evans was, though). In the mid-90's, we finally had hunks and babes, but by then, drive-ins were out and these films could only be seen on VHS tape or DVD and a lot of them were awful. In the early to mid 80's we had some knockouts in the female department, but the guys were wiry and geeky. However, with Hardbodies, that all changed, because the lead (Grant Cramer)was a handsome man with charisma, and it ushered equality for both sexes.

Cramer plays Scotty, a typical L.A. drifter with no job, but probably gets by somehow. He has a steady girlfriend named Kristi (the lovely Teal Roberts) but lives in a dumpy apartment that he's way past due on rent. He also has a goofy looking friend named Rags (Courtney Gains) who hangs out with them. The story involves three middle-aged men who come to L.A. to have "philosophical discussions" with the babes of L.A., but they don't know how to approach them. They spot Scotty using his techniques (dialoguing and BBD) on various women and they soon ask him for his help. He refuses their offer of room and board at their swank beach house, but after getting evicted and sleeping under the boardwalk, he agrees to teach them his techniques.

Of course, what prevails afterwards are the typical: beach parties that last until dawn, music, the usual double-crosses, and the eventual plot resolution. Still, it's great fun. The acting is O.K., some are fine, others are gawd-awful. The music is cool (Vixen is in it). The ambiance is fun and the dialogue is fresh. Worth renting on VHS; I doubt it's on DVD, but avoid the sequel; it's a bore.

A trio of married, middle-aged men hire a streetwise 20 something to help them get laid with the local women. There are parties and scenes a plenty with topless women.

This is not Hemingway, nor is is Shakespeare, hell it ain't even Roger Coreman. This is a movie filmed with the premise of "how many young actresses can we get topless in one film?" Does that make it a bad movie? Not at all, it just isn't great. There are some good laughs in here, but long on plot it isn't.

Before sitting down to watch Hardbodies, decide what you are looking for out of this film. Do you want a well-written movie with an engaging plot, Oscar-worthy performances and beautifully-written dialogue? Then stay away from this movie. Do you want to see a fairly entertaining movie centered around fitting as much gratuitous shots of topless women as possible? Then you've found what you're looking for!

Hardbodies is a cheesy, 80's teen sex movie. But if you like cheesy, 80's teen sex movies, it's actually pretty good. It's better than any of the other ones out there. Some funny, quotable lines. A few entertaining characters. And many, many hot naked women. I mean, really -- how can you go wrong when there's bikini tops flying off before the opening credits even end?