Die Schlacht der Centurions

Totally unconvincing as an actual view at the future, New Gladiators (aka: "Rome 2072: The New Gladiators" or "Fighting Centurions") is none the less an extremely entertaining Sci-Fi action programmer from Lucio Fulci. At times gory, action packed (full of exploding-for-no-reason vehicles), cheese-tastic dialogue ("Go to Hell!", "I would - if I thought it would increase my ratings!") and delicious scenery reused from other Italian sci-fi films, giving the film the feel of an episode of Doctor Who circa 1983 as directed by slow-minded aliens.

Jared Martin, of the 1980s War of the Worlds series and Fulci's own AENIGMA, is our hero - the star Killbike champion. It's hard to tell if he is the star of the TV show Killbike BEFORE he's framed for murdering the Clockwork Orange-esque gang who murdered his wife, or if that is a flashback (as indicated by the commentary from Fulci-fan Troma staff) and that's how he became a Killbike star. I think it's the former, though. He finds himself in a prison cell (a one room riff on Stuart Gordon's FORTRESS which had yet to be made) with Fred "The Hammer" Williamson (From Dusk Till Dawn, Black Caesar, New Barbarians etc), Hal Yamagouchi (from "Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou") and Al Cliver (dubbed again by the guy who did Zombie for him), among others. They are trained in hilarious strobe-lit scene with mentally-projected holograms to become more effective killers (this has very little to do with the game show they ultimately compete in), there's a love story, in-fighting, a sadistic guard...You get the picture.

No, words cannot describe the joys of the picture - small model sets, actually entertaining sci-fi ideas (almost universally executed beneath their value) and Riz Ortolani (orchestral composer and film composer for "Cannibal Holocaust" and Fulci's "Don't Torture a Duckling" and "Perversion Story/One On Top of the Other") contributes a scruzzy New Wave rock score which is a total, rip-roaring triumphant cheesefest. Sure, there's only three pieces of music and they loop constantly, but by the end you'll be so happy it won't matter!

The DVD is a fairly typical early 21st century Troma disc - fullscreen video master, stereo, minimal extras. A commentary from the "FBI" (Fulci Benevolant Institution) is just Trent "Killjoy, Dead Girl and Terror Firmer" Haaga and Troma's then-DVD producer Ronni Raygun riffing on the movie. It's unclear whether only some of the affection for the film is sarcastic, or all of it, but it's entertaining enough. There's a short interview with the beautiful Antonella Fulci (not as good as on the "Zombie" blu-ray or Arrow "Gates of Hell" Daughter of Darkness interviews) apparently filmed by herself or a friend (note the Divine "Love Reaction" vinyl prominantly displayed...did she think John Waters owned Troma?), a Dario Argento interview (not a lot involved here, but mention is made of Fulci and how he didn't play a part influencing Dario, at all), a short Robert Englund interview about...Dario Argento, and the usual introduction and trailer. There's also some Troma extras with nothing to do with the film.

Considering it's a full screen video master, and the film is clearly missing some information (yes I would prefer a 1.85:1 transfer but fortunately New Gladiators was not a cinemascope production, so we're not missing too much), the transfer is pretty good. Once you get used to the idea that in this dystopian future, a particular shade of dark green has replaced the colour black, you'll notice it upscales just fine.

Overall, it's the best version of the movie out there I'm aware of (apparently the US Media release cuts out some of the violence) and it's pretty cheap, so pick it up.

THE NEW GLADIATORS is the 20th movie by Lucio Fulci I have seen, and it marks a little piece of movie-going history for me. I was a teenage horror fanatic, so to speak, and in the beginning of my horror odyssey I wouldn't have thought I would get to see even five. But that was before imported DVD. That was before the Internet. Now I have a fairly good view of Fulci and I know very well why my admiration for him is so high. The New Gladiators, Fighting Centurions, or whatever you want to call it, is just an example. I love the very idea that Fulci even tried to make this movie.

Fulci was not high class, to say the very least, but he definitely had an artistic vision. He went out to follow his themes no matter what. It's like he didn't notice, or cared, that the actors were horrible, the effects crappy and the dialog so ridiculously high-blown that basically every movie he ever made, in some way or another became hard to take seriously. This one is definitely no exception.

In the mid 80's, Fulci tried to jump off the horror wagon for a while. I guess he felt he knocked himself out for good with THE NEW YORK RIPPER and who can blame him. Just one year after that movie he did the sword&sorcery/fantasy-fest CONQUEST and if you put those two beside each other, well, one conclusion is that he definitely could do different things. Conquest is a howler, if I hadn't known about Fulci I would have pretty much assumed it was a comedy. Much of the same goes with The New Gladiators, but unlike Conquest, or any other Fulci movie for that matter, it has a more obvious problem: It's a sci-fi-fantasy movie with a budget taken from the tin can of a bum! The models are barely convincing even as models, and the many sequences of biker action comes off as peculiarly pointless, since there are basically no stunts and we don't know which character is which (since they are all stunt men). Many of the drivers also seem to drive into spears and walls all by themselves, for no apparent reason.

The plot is also just barely there. There's a bunch of "gladiators". They are supposed to fight. In the end we get the would-be-showdown, but between the first scene and the last there's just a bunch of separate sequences of torture or escape action and one or two loose plot threads. One mad scientist here, one Gestapo-dressed Howard Ross there, who is a threat one second, and totally outsmarted the next, and I don't blame Fred Williamson for later claiming "I have no idea what that movie was about".

But who cares, right? Just like in Conquest, another plot less feast for the senses, there's a lot of hilarious sequences. Swallow this gadget and you will be able to melt stuff with your brain. Pick up the gun. No. Pick it up. No. PIIICK IIIT UUUUUPPPP. I mean, the list goes on. For Fulci apostles though, we get some familiar themes of humanity with some seriously bad odds against it - in this case by computerization and TV, something you have to give Fulci some before-his-time-credit for - but with a surprisingly happy ending. The eyeball theme (or "who sees what" as I like to call it) becomes totally physical towards the end when a supposedly half-blind man turns out to have a camera behind the blind lens (OK, that's a little brilliant) and there's even.... let's see... one cool Fulciesque moment, involving a bizarre and surrealistic murder with three whistling men dressed in fancy 80's suits.

It's no surprise that this move is re-distributed by Troma, because it's surely a joy for all. It's a great movie to watch if you want to get together and laugh at a bad movie, and it's definitely worthwhile for Fulci enthusiasts (I mean.... why not??). As long as you don't expect Blade Runner, you're in for a treat. In addition, I recommend to watch it back to back with Conquest, which should be saved for last because it's even funnier.

KIIIILLLL!!!

Set in the 21st century, criminals are forced to fight each other like gladiators on motorcycles for the enjoyment of TV audiences. Sound familiar? Arnold Schwarzenegger "The Running Man" wouldn't come out for three years later, but Stephen King's novella came out two years earlier, so don't give director Lucio Fulci too much credit. Part of a cycle of cheap Italian ripoff films capitalizing on the popularity of "The Road Warrior" and "Escape from New York," this one is better than most of it's contemporaries, although that's an admittedly a low bar. In the film's favor is the cast includes Fred Williamson, which is always a treat, a charmingly 80s synthesizer heavy score by Riz Ortolani, and solid direction for Fulci. As far as director Fulci goes, I've never quite decided if he's an artist along the lines of Dario Argento or Mario Bava or is merely a talented gorehound like Joe D'Amato or Bruno Mattei. I think I lean towards the latter, though Fulci's "The Beyond" is pretty great, but it's still no "Deep Red" or "Suspiria." Back to "The New Gladiators," the story is corny, most of the performance are goofy, the action is ham-fisted, but the film has an undeniable 80s grindhouse charm that I found irresistible. From Ortolani's rockin synthesizer score, to Fred Williamson kicking ass, to strobe light fight sequences, to some terrifically gory practical special effects, to awful laser special effects, to some wonderfully corny miniature future cityscape sets, there was a definite so-bad-it's good quality to this film that I loved, but Fulci's direction of the motorcycle sidecar action sequences are pretty lacking in comparison to George Miller or even a hacky Italian contemporary like Enzo G. Castellari. Overall, this is not a good film in the traditional sense, but if you're a fan of cheesy 80s low budget post-apocalyptic Mad Max knock-off films, it's essential viewing.

I bet the almighty Lucio Fulci didn't half realize back in 1984 how progressive and visionary the concept of his film would become. Sure the idea of recruiting death row prisoners as futuristic gladiators and broadcast their battle to live and death live on television is still extremely grotesque but the underlying and less obvious themes of "The New Gladiators" – like the appalling formula of reality-TV and the always-increasing quest for sensationalism – were way ahead of their time. This film is one of the numerous futuristic exploitation ventures that were released in the early 80's, all of them with the intention of cashing in on the huge success of John Carpenter's "Escape from New York". All these movies are incredibly violent, feature grim sets and flamboyant effect and – oh yeah – for some reason they practically all star Fred Williamson! I think Fred actually lived in between the decors and on the sets of low-budget Italian flicks back then. Anyway, Fulci naturally had to participate in this profitable Sci-Fi action trend and it shouldn't come as too much of a surprise that his effort is one of the coolest and most sadistically violent of the entire bunch. In their search for the ultimate crowd-pleasing TV-show, slick studio bosses come up with the brilliant idea of reviving the ancient Roman spectacle of Gladiator fights. Death row prisoners from all over the world are recruited to fight in the arena to the death and, just because every show does better with a celebrity on board, the vicious TV-stations owners frame a popular stunt bike rider with murder, just so that he can be put in the battle as well. But with Drake as their leader and the help of a cute and caring computer expert, the Gladiators fight back! Awesome, undemanding and adrenalin-rushing entertainment from Maestro Fulci, "The New Gladiators" offers a spitfire of explosions, macho-showdowns, squeaking bike tires, decapitations, laser beams and revealing manly skirt-outfits! Riz Ortolani delivers one of the best scores of his career (perhaps even second only to his work for "Cannibal Holocaust") and Fred Williamson remains the male role model for utter coolness, despite the fact he plays his supportive role on automatic pilot.

This film, a precursor to The Running Man, depicts a futuristic game show in which contestants are stalked and killed. Bad special effects and dubbing throughout. Only for Lucio Fulci completists, this is even lacking in the gratuitous gore and nudity that usually characterizes Fulci's work.