Mahagoni

"Mahogany" is one of those movies you don't necessarily want to go out of your way to see, but want to <have seen>. Fortunately, late night cable frequently provides one with the opportunity to catch up on the classics. The plot is straight out of 1937, with the slightly disturbing--to modern ears--message that one's own personal ambition should always take a back seat to love. Diana Ross is luminous, funny, charming and beautiful in a role that doesn't ask much of her but to pose - her delivery and timing are good, but the dialogue she's asked to utter sounds pretty campy today. Anthony Perkins as a creepy, dangerous character - wow, big stretch. Billy Dee Williams as the Honest Politician Who Loves Her - well, he's good, but you could have hired a Steiff teddy bear to play that role. Love those costumes. Have to wonder whether Tracy's designs were set up to be appallingly bad (and they are) so that the audience would object less to her decision to give up on the fashion world.

In my view, the best quote is not the oft-trotted out one about success, but: "You're only young once; you can be immature forever."

The overall "stand by your man" message is singularly abhorrent, but "Mahogany" is such fine kitsch that even the staunchest feminist will laugh, despite herself.

This slick but predictable tale of fashion-world fame resembles, by turns, a diluted version of Valley of the Dolls. Only in this valley, the only doll is black beauty Diana Ross, piloting the whole vanity vehicle like a Sherman tank. She plays Tracy Chambers, a gorgeous secretary from the mean streets of Chicago who finds fame and fortune (but alas--poignant sniffle--not happiness) as Europe's top model/designer, Mahogany ("Meeeee! Mahogany!"). As her lovely theme song flows from the soundtrack, Ms. Ross throws a tantrum in a fountain (which ends up on a Revlon billboard); does a wax-covered striptease; and wears a number of eye-popping, often hideous fashions that she designed herself, including a Sea Monkey costume and a sugar glider made out of pantyhose. But ultimately, what she really wants is love--as does every woman is this sort of film since the invention of the movie camera.

Limp though it may be, there is some enjoyment to be had for camp devotees. The photography and music are breathtaking. The cast looks great; the acting is okay, considering that everyone is forced to mouth silly, soapy dialogue about love and selfishness. There are a fair number of unintentional laughs, too, but by the end, you just won't care anymore. Really, Mahogany is about audience gratification. Basically, the film tells us that success is "Nothing But Heartaches" (to quote Diana--sorry, couldn't resist), so you may as well stay home and clean the oven. And if you believe that idiocy, I've got some prime Florida realty to sell you.

This movie was tailor made for Diana Ross, at the height of her career, & it's a must see for all her fans. Sure, it's pure fantasy but it is very entertaining. It's in the campy/angst ridden/clichéd genre of rags to riches movies like "Valley of The Dolls", "Back Street", "Harlow", etc. The movie is overloaded with Ross from the theme song, the (ugly) clothing she designed for it, & the fact that she's in just about every scene. It SCREAMS: 1970'S!!! But of course, Miss Ross was a dominant part of that decade (along w/the mid to late 60's). Billy Dee Williams is very good as her leading man, as he was in "Lady Sings The Blues". Ham-bone Anthony Perkins plays a flaming "Psycho" to the hilt. Take note of Miss Ross in the early part of the film. Gone are the huge hair extensions, overblown eye make up, etc. She looks great. Watch this movie for pure 1970's escapism. By the way, I love the happy ending :)!

Poor inner-city girl (Diana Ross) just wants to be a successful fashion designer but can't get a big break. She finally does get a break, not as a designer but as a model. She becomes world famous and eventually gets the chance to show the world her designs. Oh, and there's some stuff about an up-and-coming politician (Billy Dee Williams) she loves and a homosexual photographer (Anthony Perkins) who "understands the needs of a woman."

Cheesy kitsch from Berry Gordy. The story is trite and the performances are mostly unimpressive. Anthony Perkins does ham it up, which is the primary reason to recommend this. Once his character is gone the movie goes downhill fast. Also features B-movie legend Nina Foch and the film debut of Bruce Villanch. Diana Ross shows her limitations as an actress but at least she does so in hilariously awful fashion. Speaking of fashion, don't eat before seeing this movie or you might lose your lunch at the sights of some of the terrible dresses on display. It was the '70s, baby. Diana sings the theme song ("Do You Know Where You're Going To") that plays throughout the movie. It didn't impress me much at first but damned if it wasn't stuck in my head by the end. It's not a good movie but there is so-bad-it's-good value.

Watch for the ghetto photo shoot scene. As Diana and Billy Dee argue there's this background actor in between them whose eyes just go from one actor to the other as they say their lines like he's watching a tennis match. All of the other actors behind them look away from them, pretending they aren't talking loudly right in front of everybody. But not this guy. I don't know if he was an actual actor or an extra or what but sticking him in the middle of the scene turns a dramatic scene into comedy. A perfect example of the kind of quality that went into making this.

This movie is a roller-coaster of camp, from start to finish. It is like a bunch of gay men sat down to figure out how to dress up Diana Ross and put her in different outfits all done to a never-ending loop of Diana's own song. The montage of Diana as fashion model is perhaps one of the funniest and campest scenes in a movie, and of course was copied almost shot for shot for the Beyonce montage scene in "Dreamgirls". It has to be seen to be believed.

But no-one can inspire a drag queen like Ms. Ross who never lets plot or story-line interfere with her chances to soft pout or give us long enigmatic looks. The good thing is the plot and story-line is so thin and transparent, she doesn't have to struggle too much. The storyline is simple....girl from the projects with big dreams leaves behind the bleakness of Chicago as she is "discovered" by Anthony Perkins who can't quite figure out if he is gay in the movie (as he was in real life) or straight. He veers from camp to psychotic misogynist sometimes in the same scene. The result is unintentional hilarity.

Part of the rags to riches subplot (if you can call it that) is the Billy Dee Williams character who we know is the true love of Ms.Ross. He is a local activist in Chicago who runs for political office. This part of the story is boring, because Diana isn't dressed up and mincing though every scene. It is also boring because Billy Dee's character is almost as clichéd as the rest of the story. Fighting the white honky sometimes with words but sometimes with fists. He is down-to-earth and hard-working as well as fearless. We are supposed to want him to win. Ms.Ross makes a decision that happiness trumps fame and glory and that is the end...or kind of the end. Actually I don't remember the story, because the camera barely moves from Ross the whole time.

If you love high camp then this movie is for you. At one point Diana Ross says, "I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.." Oh Diana, you are. You are doing the right thing. Fun fact, some of the frocks on display were designed by Ms. Ross, and the whole camp drag-show was put together by her then lover, Berry Gordy.

This move is camptastic!