- Snow Miser: So, Mrs. C., how's your hubby?
- Mrs. Santa: Not too good, Snowy, he's got a bad cold.
- Snow Miser: Aw, that's a shame. He should've come to see me, I'd've given him a good one! HO HA HO... a little chilly humor, there.
- Snow Miser: Don't be such a stranger! Come around with your husband, we'll have a blizzard! Ha ha ha ha!
- Santa Claus: All right. What are you up to?
- Mrs. Santa: Up to? Do I look like I'm up to something?
- Santa Claus: No, you don't look like you're up to something, but whenever you look like you're not up to ANYTHING, you're up to something.
- Heat Miser: Well, well, Mrs. Claus. How's your husband doing? Out doing another commercial for my brother?
- Mrs. Santa: Oh come now. You know he's not on your brother's payroll.
- Snow Miser's Men: He's Mister White Christmas, he's Mister Snow. He's Mr. Icicle, he's Mister 10 below.
- Snow Miser: Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch. I'm too much.
- Mrs. Santa: Would you mind doing us a favor?
- Heat Miser: I don't see why I should. No one ever does anything for me. What is it?
- Mrs. Santa: Could you let it snow in the south for one day?
- Heat Miser: WHAT? SNOW IN THE SOUTH?
- Mrs. Santa: Just for one day?
- Heat Miser: NEVER!
- [thinks for a few seconds]
- Heat Miser: Hmmm... unless of course... there was... you know... something in it for me?
- Jingle Bells: [answers the phone] Hello? Jingle Bells, number 1 elf speaking. May I ask who is calling please? Oh, hi, Mrs. Claus. Yes, Mrs. Claus. Okay, Mrs. Claus. Sure thing, Mrs. Claus. Right away, Mrs. Claus.
- [hangs up]
- Jangle Bells: Who was that?
- Jingle Bells: That was... Ooh.
- Dr. Bobbin: And for what? Just to deliver presents to a bunch of folks who don't give a hoot in the first place.
- Mrs. Santa: Now, now, Doctor. It's not just presents and you know it. What about all that Christmas spirit and good will?
- Dr. Bobbin: If you had any sense, you'd give it up as a bad job and stay home in bed this year.
- Mrs. Santa: Oh come now, if Santa stayed home, why there would be no Christmas.
- Dr. Bobbin: Who cares? Nobody cares about Christmas anymore.
- Santa Claus: They don't?
- Dr. Bobbin: Of course not. Wouldn't surprise me none if nobody even believed in you anymore.
- Mrs. Santa: Now Santa, don't you pay him any mind.
- Dr. Bobbin: Nobody cares a hoot and a holler for you or Christmas. Oh by the way, Merry Christmas to you.
- Heat Miser's Men: He's Mister Green Christmas. He's Mister Sun. He's Mister Heat Blister. He's Mister Hundred-and-One.
- Heat Miser: They call me Heat Miser. Whatever I touch starts to melt in my clutch. I'm too much.
- Santa Claus: You say my friends were asking you about Christmas?
- Ignatius Thistlewhite: Yeah. They wanted to know if we kids cared about Santa Claus, and all.
- Mr. Thistlewhite: And uh, what did you tell them?
- Ignatius Thistlewhite: Heck, I don't believe in Santa Claus anymore. That's kid's stuff. Isn't it?
- Santa Claus: Mmm. Just as I thought.
- Ignatius Thistlewhite: You don't believe in Santa Claus, do you, Dad?
- Mr. Thistlewhite: Why, uh, yes. Matter of fact, I do.
- Ignatius Thistlewhite: [to Santa] How about you?
- Santa Claus: Me? Why, of course I do.
- Ignatius Thistlewhite: Who? Where are we going? Who are we going to see?
- Jingle Bells: We're going right to the top, Iggie, my boy.
- Jangle Bells: Mrs. C. is through fooling around. We're gonna see none other than...
- Jingle Bells, Jangle Bells: Mother Nature.
- Ignatius Thistlewhite: Gosh.