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Harry and Tonto

Harry: You know, the strangest thing about being old is... all your friends are dead.
Shirley: Well, all your old friends, maybe. You could make new friends, you know?

Harry: [In jail for urinating in public] This is the first time in my life I've ever been in jail.
Sam Two Feathers: What are you in for?
Harry: Peeing.
Sam Two Feathers: I got a ticket once for shitting.
Harry: Where'd you do it?
Sam Two Feathers: No, not me. My horse - in a hotel lobby.
Harry: Oh.

Sam Two Feathers: I practice good medicine on good people... bad medicine on bad people.

Sam Two Feathers: [Having helped alleviate Harry's bursitis, using old Indian remedy] I love my work.

Harry: I know, life is confusing. We're just trying to get on with it that's all.

Harry: [Talking to his cat, reminiscing about an earlier New York City] There were trolleys, Tonto. Cobblestones. The aroma of corned beef and cabbage. The tangy zest of... apple strudel. You had to hand-crank the cars in those days, Tonto. Cars like REO's, Franklins, Hudsons. Those were names fit for a car. These days a man doesn't know whether he's driving a car or an animal: "Mustangs," "Jaguars," "Cougars,"... "Pintos." - Silly.

Wade Carlton: [Having helped alleviate Harry's bursitis by giving him a muscle massage] I love my work.

Nick Lewis - Used Car Dealer: I am 62 years old.
[Indicates to Harry the rather obvious hair piece he's wearing]
Nick Lewis - Used Car Dealer: I can't get it up unless I take a dose of strychnine.
Harry: Strychnine? I thought strychnine was poisonous?
Nick Lewis - Used Car Dealer: Naw, no... It really gives you a lift, you know? But I wanna' tell ya, it isn't worth it. 'Cause I get such terrible headaches. Right through my skull. "Bong! Bong!" Like a sledgehammer. So, a fella' has to decide whether he wants a migraine headache... or a piece of ass, you know?
Harry: Well, Nick, you live and learn.

Elaine Coombes: I was gonna' try and cook some authentic soul food, but then I got afraid it wouldn't turn out all right. But I love the soul food. Burt and I ate it at a little place in the East Village that specializes in it... It's run by an elderly Afro-American woman.
Leroy: *I* didn't know they had soul food in Africa.

Wade Carlton: So I was broke. I rode me down to Galveston. Read an article in the paper... about catchin' sharks. Shark's good for a lot of things. Got a job with a Portuguese feller. Caught sharks till I couldn't move my arms. Made me $300 and come home. Hadn't shaved for three weeks. Come walkin' up to the front door. The wife thought it was a bum. Told me to clear on out. That's when I got into cats.
Harry: Your wife still alive?
Wade Carlton: Nope. Buried three of 'em. Good women. Bad diets.

Harry: Jacob, they want me to move.
Jacob Rivetowski: What?
Harry: I got a notice that they're tearing down my building. They're putting up a fancy parking lot.
Jacob Rivetowski: Capitalist bastards!

Jacob Rivetowski: You can't fight capitalism in the courts. You got to go to the streets. Man the barricades, plant the dynamite. Blow up the cesspool.

Harry: Shirley?
Shirley: What?
Harry: Do you love me?
Shirley: Look, I'll tell you something, Harry: I don't always like you, but I do love you.
Harry: Then why do we always argue?
Shirley: I don't know. I guess that's the way we talk to each other, Harry.

Burt Coombes Jr.: I know you think you're really far out. You smoke a couple of joints, and you think you're into something, right? No... hey, I know. I mean, I took 32 trips, you ninny. Pure stuff. Pure rainbow! I had more coke stuffed up this nose than you could breathe air. I was into heavy Tibetan meditation for two years, you jimbo!
Harry: You're not very tolerant, Junior.
Burt Coombes Jr.: The heaviest thing I can do for him is to-...
[shouts]
Burt Coombes Jr.: wake him up!

Jacob Rivetowski: We are in for a depression... that will make the 30's look like paradise. Maybe it's a good thing - the hard-hats and the phony liberals will kill each other.

Harry: Let me tell you something: times are bad. Don't you believe what they're saying in the papers about a recession. We're in a depression.
Taxi Driver: You better believe it.

Harry: Your office near your place?
Eddie Coombes: I don't need an office anymore, Pop. I'm living off the cream now. I sell a little insurance once in a while... or move a nice piece of real estate whenever I need some fast cash. But mostly I play.
Harry: Well, I must say, Eddie, you *look* like a playboy.

Jacob Rivetowski: You want, you can move in with me.
Harry: I appreciate that, Jacob, but I think we'd end up hating each other. You know, I can be a real pain in the ass.
Jacob Rivetowski: I lived with my wife for 40 years. I can live with you.

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