The Killer Reserved Nine Seats

Great fun! Indeed, great title, great poster, great costumes for all the ladies and great how easily they just slip off. Actually, the poster is a heavily censored and cropped impression of what really happens in the film. There are many and varied kills but the one depicted here was by far the most extreme. Saddled with the hoary old Ten Little Indians plot, we have, of course, a whole bunch of people we are not interested in and who cannot be fully explained to retain the possibility that any one of them could have killed the rest. Possibly needlessly, on top of this we have a concurrent supernatural plot suggestion, that doesn't particularly improve things. But never mind, the theatre is a wonderful setting giving endless nook and crannies, corridors and overhead and subterranean spaces for the victims to be chased and caught and spectacularly killed. The chit chat gets a bit tedious but the sudden clinches and arch performances a hoot. Must have been as much fun to make as it is to watch.

Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians serves as the basis for giallo The Killer Reserved Nine Seats, which sees a group of bickering friends, relatives and acquaintances, all of whom have complex relationships and serious character flaws, assemble at a deserted theatre where they find themselves locked in and killed off one-by-one by a masked assailant. Is the murderer flesh and blood or a malevolent spirit driven by a centuries old curse?

If the film had stuck to a simple murder-by-numbers plot, it could have been a very effective thriller— after all, the same basic set-up served Michele Soavi well for his excellent '80s slasher Stagefright (1987)—but the supernatural element makes The Killer Reserved Nine Seats way too bewildering for its own good, with a frustrating finale that fails to make matters clear. Thank heavens, then, for those mainstays of the giallo, violence and nudity…

With such a collection of disagreeable characters, there are plenty of well deserved deaths, although they are less graphic than I had expected: some reviews have remarked on the nastiness of the murders, but barring the nailing of one woman's arm to a wooden beam (an effect that uses a hilarious plastic-looking fake hand), the violence seemed rather tame to me (I definitely didn't see any crotch stabbing), leading me to wonder whether the version I watched was shorn of some gore.

Thankfully, all of the nudity seemed intact, with virtually all of the female characters getting nekkid at some point, either willingly, or by having their clothes torn off by the killer before being brutally dispatched. This certainly helps to make the film more entertaining, especially the scene in which one woman takes time out amidst all the murder to dance topless to some funky music.

This is a surprisingly entertaining Italian giallo that resembles a lot of later American slasher movies more than it does the earlier or contemporary Italian thrillers. As in slasher films like "Stage Fright" (both versions), "Popcorn", and "Clown at Midnight" this film is basically about nine people who attend a showing at a mysteriously deserted theater and find themselves trapped inside and picked off one-by-one by a mysterious masked killer, who may be motivated by revenge. Really though the plot here is pretty inconsequential. This movie is much closer to the stylish gialli than amateurish slasher movies in quality, and instead of having a cast of adolescent American nitwits, the cast is made up of sumptuous European beauties who spend much of the movie in various states of undress--oh yeah, and the male lead from "South Pacific".

The most recognizable actress might be the Swedish Janet Agren who later appeared in Fulci's "City of the Living Dead", but she (and her obvious body double) are only in the movie briefly. The lead actresses are Paola Senatore (who later appeared in Italian porn movies) and Lucretia Love (who might as well have). Neither are great actresses but they easily fulfill the requirements of their roles here. (Senatore and Agren would appear together again later in Umberto Lenzi's cannibalism opus "Eaten Alive" where hilariously the blonde Aryan Swede and the swarthy Italian were supposed to be sisters). You may wonder what Rosanno "South Pacific" Brazzi is doing in a movie like this, but this is actually a step up from his previous appearance in "Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks" (and personally I'd rather watch either of these again than "South Pacific").

You might wait for this to be legitimately released on DVD, but unlike a lot of obscure gialli there are good-looking copies of it floating around out there.

A whole bunch of reprehensible people turn up at a disused theatre on the night of rich aristocrat Patrick Devenant. These people are your usual Euro-film bunch of double crosser and promiscuous deviants: there's a few lesbians, a married couple, a couple who want to get married. That kind of thing, plus all the usual infidelities. The theatre is run by a creepy guy who turns up to spout something dodgy about the people or the theatre, then disappears again.

It comes as no surprise that a black-gloved killer or killers is/are on the prowl and the first guy to nearly get it is Patrick, who narrowly dodges a huge wooden block that's dropped on his head. Naturally this prompts a lot of discussion from everyone about how much money Patrick has and who would want it. When the first victim is stabbed in the back while performing Romeo and Juliet on stage, the rest of the folks discover the phone lines cut and the door locked. They now have to spend the whole night together and one of them may be the killer...

I've got to admit to being a bit underwhelmed with this one. Too much jibber jabber and not enough...err...dibber stabber. Overlong to considering the premise, with many scenes content to have the actors endlessly discussing what's going on, blaming each other, putting the moves on each other, or wandering off alone to get murdered by a killer who wears a mask that makes him/her look like Alan Sugar. There's plenty of nudity however, but that just serves to slow down things even more.

It's not a total loss, however. There's a nice supernatural angle to the film where the curator of the theatre might be a ghost, disembodied voices call to the actors, and there's a confusing bit where a dummy looks alive...for a second or two. We also get a strange painting that depicts the fate of the character and the whole theatre setting gives the film a nice gothic horror feel.

What it needed more of was random daftness and poor taste - we do get one character throwing caution to the wind, necking a bunch of pills, and dancing around naked in the middle of this murder fest, and there's a bit of nastiness when someone has their hand nailed to a post, but there's too much talk for me. An okay giallo, but not a great one.

Despite suffering from many flaws and shortcomings, "The Killer Reserved Nine Seats" is still warmly recommended to fans of the Italian giallo (and we know their number increases every day!). The absolute greatest and most inventive titles of this wonderful Italian horror sub genre pretty much all received fancy DVD-editions by now, so there must be some very good reasons why this film is still obscure and hard to find. And yes, it doesn't take the slightly experienced giallo-fanatic very long to figure out that Giuseppe Bennati's effort is far inferior to – let's say – the work of Sergio Martino or Dario Argento. Gialli are almost fundamentally blessed with a fantastic musical score, yet the opening tune in "The Killer Reserved Nine Seats" is ugly as sin and suggests an entirely wrong ambiance. The music isn't the biggest shortcoming, but it's definitely what bothered me the most as I expect a giallo-score to haunt my dreams for several more nights. On the night of his birthday, millionaire Patrick Davenant invites eight of his acquaintances to an abandoned theater that he owns but never visits. The atmosphere in the group is hostile, yet they stay close to Patrick as they all depend on his fortune. After a bit of wandering around the old theater, the first girl is brutally murdered with a dagger and the rest of the group discovers that the place carries an ancient curse. Is there really some kind of evil supernatural force luring from within the walls? Or is one of these nine people an old-fashioned flesh & blood killer? Let's just say the answer to this question is not hard to predict, but it'll still take many corpses before the characters know for sure...

Let's start with discussing the BEST elements about this film! "The Killer Reserved Nine Seats" is a decent and straightforward murder-mystery with a reasonably fair amount of plot-twists and intrigue. Not nearly as convoluted as most gialli, but compelling enough to keep you alert and hoping for a surprising denouement. Undoubtedly the greatest aspect about this film is the claustrophobic theater setting, which provides the story with an uncanny almost Gothic atmosphere. This same original setting offers the opportunity to make the murders ingenious and somewhat special. The deaths of the lesbian lovers, whose mutilated bodies are exhibited like some kind of stage tableau, are the finest examples to state this. There are several insurmountable problems with the script, however. There's way too much talking about irrelevant stuff and the characters do incredibly stupid things, like leaving the group to investigate the dark and secret corridors of the theater all on their own. Not smart. The supernatural sub plot is overall stupid and definitely not very efficient as a red herring, but I suppose it was a worthwhile attempt. The acting performances are surprisingly adequate and – very important – there's a fine share of genuine Euro-sleaze. Every actress takes her clothes off at least once and they all have ravishing bodies. That HAS to count for something, right?