Turtle's Progress

I got hooked on this show in England in 1979 and got to the point where I was turning down invitations to stay home and watch the adventures of Turtle and his mates. Set in London's east end, Turtle's Progress follows a group of Cockney neer-do-wells in their attempts to lead lives of honest thievery. The stories were good, the dialogue sharp, and the characters engrossing. You'll notice some familiar names here, especially Michael Atwell, who have all gone on to higher things.

Be warned: the show was made by Brits for Brits, so the Cockney accents are not the usual watered-down fare you'll find in the made-for-export-to-America products. But persevere; Turtle's Progress is well worth the effort.

It's astounding that this show has declined almost to the point of being forgotten, whereas "Only Fools and Horses" gets repeated ad nauseam on BBC... and winds up as the UK's most-loved Sitcom. The key is, "Only Fools" was a BBC creation (and the BBC don't mind repeating their successes) whereas Turtle was an ITV show (and ITV only seem to repeat 90-minute Detective-shows like "Morse", "Frost" and "Midsomer Murders")Ignore ill-informed claims that this show "only ran for one season" - it ran for TWO, one of seven episodes, one of five. And as a "crime-based comedy set in the East End of London", it broke the ground for "Minder", "Only Fools and Horses", and other similar shows. It's little short of criminal that such a groundbreaking show has been allowed to sink into such obscurity. (The production company got taken over, the company which took them over got taken over in turn... rights lapsed...) The only hope is that the 13 episodes may eventually see the light of day yet again as an inexpensive way to fill the growing demand for stuff to air on the ever-increasing number of "Freeview" channels.

The first series was definitely better than the second. Turtle is a minor East End (of London) thief who in episode one breaks into a safe deposit bank and steals the boxes unopened. In each successive episode he opens a box and uses the contents to his advantage. His 'progress' is into becoming a legitimate (but not completely honest) businessman gaining more money and status each time. There's a cute little love interest sub-plot which works because Turtle is becoming more and more confident. Scene stealer is Lional Attwill as the 'heavy', but who is always Turtle's friend. This was a great comedy drama which I saw when I was 17 and which I really miss today. This show really needs to be re-shown or re-made.

One of the very few shows I used to stay in for, but watching over forty years later found slightly disappointing. Contemporary shows like Minder which this in some ways resembles were shot on film, whereas Turtle made by ATV is largely confined to the studio, giving it the look of a considerably older production. Creator Edmund Ward, one of the finest TV writers of the time was an expert in gritty dramas set in the then cut-throat world of the building industry and the legal profession. He contributes some intriguing plots but comedy was not his forte and a little of Turtle's moronic family and Ruby Head's deadpan Aunt Ethel went a long way with me. John F. Landry, excellent in the lead had a strange career, seemingly coming from nowhere to star in this, only to be seldom seen again. Michael Attwell is effective as droll minder 'Razor Eddie' and James Grout and David Swift both make the most of their shared role of Inspector Rafferty. By contrast some of the supporting acting is remarkably poor, though seeing the likes of Stanley Lebor doing their American tough-guy acts nowadays adds to the fun.

I watched this program without fail every week that it ran. I was never disappointed with the story line. It tells of two so called crooks who could not commit a crime without getting it wrong. They stole a van which it turned out was the property of the mob. Inside were safe deposit boxes all previously stolen by the mob. Each week they opened a box and what they found in the box formed the story line for that week. Most weeks they actually managed, by no fault of their own, to turn things to their advantage. The main characters were Turtle and his none to bright body guard "Razor Eddy" Wish they would rerun it. It was with sadness that I heard of the death of Michael Attwell, who played "Razor Eddy", in March this year 2006.