- Marv Gomez: You ain't gonna be happy until you're free. And the only way you're going to be free is to get loose. And the only way you're going to get loose is to dance!
- Tony Di Marco: [to Sue] I have a little hunch about something. Are you a stewardess for TWA?
- Dave: No. She's a wife... with the PTA. You know, uh, supermarkets, church, McDonald's. You know the type.
- Gus: Hey, whaddya hangin' around here for? You think some fairy godmother's gonna show up at midnight and turn me into a lawyer?
- Shirley: I'm not hanging around you, I just haven't left yet.
- Gus: Hmmm.
- Shirley: What's wrong with you anyway?
- Gus: Hey, don't make fun of my height.
- Shirley: I'm not talking about your height. I don't care that you're a shrimp. I do care that you're an insensitive shrimp.
- Gus: Well let me tell you something, lady. I bust my hump all week working. Come Friday night ain't got time to be Mr. Nice Guy.
- Shirley: Oh, well let me tell you something. I feel sorry for you because you're an unhappy person.
- Gus: What the hell I got to be happy about? I'm out with an old maid.
- [Shirley belts Gus across the jaw, knocking him to the floor]
- Shirley: An old maid with a great right hook, you bastard! We were two lonely people, and we should have been nice to each other, but no, you work too hard! You creep!
- [last lines]
- Frannie: What time is it?
- Marv Gomez: It's 12:15.
- Frannie: Fabulous. We're gonna get killed! We were supposed to be home at 11!
- Jeannie: [counting their share of the prize money] $50, Frannie! We can pay back my brother! We got enough for the concert!
- Frannie: Who cares about that dumb old concert? That's for kids. We're disco queens now.
- Marv Gomez: Hey, it's too bad you disco queens got to be home so early. If we hurry, we can make it to Big Mama's for the one o'clock dance contest.
- Jeannie: Our parents will kill us.
- Frannie: You're right!
- Frannie, Jeannie: [both together] Let's go!
- Dave: [Sue unbuttons top of dress and tucks edges under to reveal cleavage] I don't like that dress.
- Sue: You've liked it every other time I've worn it.
- Dave: Your breasts! Every other time you wore it, your breasts weren't making their debut.
- Sue: This is the way the designer intended the dress to be worn. I'd like a drink. It's a little warm in here.
- Dave: How can you be warm? You're not wearing anything? Did the designer also intend for every other guy in here to look at your tits?
- Sue: Dave, they're my tits, not yours!
- Dave: You're my wife! That makes them our tits. Hello. And our tits should be home where they belong, not out on the town. And I do mean out.
- Nicole Sims: Look it, you got your chance. Give me mine. Let me sing.
- Bobby Speed: Are you...!
- Nicole Sims: Just listen to my demo. Don't you remember when you first started? Well everybody got to start somewhere. Why not here?
- Bobby Speed: You honest, lady, don't you understand? This is going on live. There are millions of people listening to my golden tones. I ain't gonna blow it! This ain't amateur night!
- Nicole Sims: Listen, Mr. Big Shot DJ, I ain't no amateur! I've paid my dues. All I'm asking for is a chance.
- Bobby Speed: Lady, please! Hey Bear!
- Nicole Sims: Alright, alright, I'll go, but my mind's made up, and when it's made up, it stays made up!
- Badmouth in bar: You know life really sucks. I mean this place is the pits. I think everyone in America's in here looking for cheap thrills. I can't stand it. I mean it is bad news. It's like a zoo in here. It's SO tacky. I'm-I'm going to get out of here... What are YOU doing here? Oh it's lousy!
- Club cashier: [Jeannie brings out the big jar of coins to pay for admission. Cashier shakes his head] IDs?
- Frannie: [chuckling to Jeannie] Is he kidding, dear?
- Jeannie: He must be, dear.
- [turns to cashier]
- Jeannie: We haven't been carded in years.
- Club cashier: Let's see.
- Club cashier: [Frannie and Jeannie give cashier fake IDs] What kind of IDs are these?
- Frannie: The regular kind.
- Jeannie: They're Idaho driver's licenses.
- Club cashier: You ladies are a long way from home.
- Jeannie: Well, there ain't much dancin' in Idaho?
- Club cashier: According to these,
- [looks at Jeannie]
- Club cashier: you're 34,
- [looks at Frannie]
- Club cashier: and you're 37.
- Jeannie: [Frannie and Jeannie laugh at the same time] Well something about that Idaho water, you know?
- Club cashier: Take a hike!
- Gus: Shirley? Are you Shirley? I'm supposed to meet her here for a blind date. One of those computer deals.
- Blonde in Blue Blouse: You've got to be kidding me.
- Gus: No! You're dressed in blue. That's what she's supposed to be wearing.
- Blonde in Blue Blouse: This is not blue! It's turquoise.
- Gus: Eh, I don't give a shit. You wanna dance?
- Nicole Sims: Listen, Mr. big shot DJ, I ain't no amateur! I paid my dues! All I'm askin' for is a chance.
- Ken: I can't do that shit.
- Marv Gomez: Hey, man, let me tell you somthin', little shits are doin' it, old ladies are doin' it, everybodies doin' it. Now, come on, dance!
- Bobby Speed: Hey listen man. When I, Bobby Speed, promises his audience live music, he delivers.
- Voice of Sam: You'd better, turkey, or you'll be back at the supermarket announcin' specials!
- Dave: [watching Sue dance with Tony] If she can experience, I can experience.
- [He walks over to Jackie]
- Dave: You always stand like that?
- Jackie: Only when I feel my energy being drained. Standing on one leg doesn't allow the energy complete flow. You can lose it in the floor. Would you like to dance?
- Dave: Well, uh...
- Jackie: Yes! You would.
- Dave: Yeah, O.K.
- Bobby Speed: Hey, hey, you all, this is Bobby Speed, the man in the glass booth, speaking to you live, for the first time and definitely not the last, from the Zoo Disco, over station KDC0, where: you are what you hear.
- Maddy: The entire world has got to be going tonight, Jennifer. I mean, do you know what this means? The odds for meeting guys moves way up!
- Jennifer: I really want to thank you for taking me with you tonight. I mean, really.
- Maddy: Forget it. I mean, I know when you come to a new place you just can't find people you can relate to.
- Jennifer: Relate to? I would just like to meet one nice guy.
- Maddy: I go to the discotheques to kind of forget, you know? They're a great place to meet new guys.
- Maddy: Alright, see that guy? He is a creep. How do I know?
- Jennifer: How do you know?
- Maddy: Heavy polyester. I mean, polyester on a dance floor? That is a creep, Jennifer.
- Jennifer: What about, what about like double-knits?
- Maddy: Oh, yeah.
- Jennifer: That's a really light, kinda summery seersucker.
- Maddy: Well, okay, if it's tasteful.
- Jennifer: Okay, tasty seersucker in, polyester out.
- Gus: Christ, I told them no college broads! You think you know everything! You know, I'm gonna get those computer bastards for this!
- Bobby Speed: [In the disco DJ booth] Who are you?
- Nicole Sims: You mean, you don't know who I am?
- Bobby Speed: No.
- Nicole Sims: Why, I'm Nicole Sims, the *hottest* thing in all the New York discos. I'm surprised, that a big DJ like you wouldn't know that?
- Bobby Speed: You mean, you're not with the Commodores?
- Nicole Sims: Oh, the Comms -
- [bumps into a turntable and scratches a record]
- Bobby Speed: Hey, hey, baby...
- Nicole Sims: Oh, I'm sorry.
- Bobby Speed: Be careful now.
- Nicole Sims: Hey, I know that one.
- [runs up to the DJ'S mike and starts singing]
- Nicole Sims: I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I love to love you baby, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I love to...
- Ken: Excuse me, I was wondering if...
- Transvestite: [turns around] Oh, so was I.
- [holding up a necklace]
- Transvestite: Is this me?
- Ken: I don't know.
- [turns around walks away]
- Marv Gomez: Hey, where you goin'?
- Ken: Home.
- Marv Gomez: Hey, the night's just beginning!
- Ken: For you maybe, but, eh...
- Marv Gomez: Nothin' happening, huh? Hey, that used to be my problem, before I started wearing leather.
- Maddy: I wanna split.
- Jennifer: Good.
- Maddy: You see, I meet these really hot guys and we're going to a really hot party, a boogie party, you know.
- Jennifer: What a minute. What about the dance contest? You want to stay for the dance contest?
- Maddy: Oh, no. See, there's this jacuzzi party and they're gonna get really down. I mean, you'd be kinda uncomfortable there. It's not your kind of party.
- Guy Who Cuts in on Jennifer: Why don't you change your mind and come with us.
- Jennifer: No, I don't want to come with you.
- Nicole Sims: [singing] Last dance, last chance for love, Yes it's my last chance, For romance tonight, Oh, I need you, by me, Beside me, to guide, To hold me, to scold me, 'Cause when I'm bad, I'm so, so bad...
- Bobby Speed: Hey, alright, alright. Now, we're on a hot roll! Whatever you've been holdin' back, let it go! Whatever you've been savin' up, spend it! 'Cause we're hummin' and the big dance contest is comin'!
- Bobby Speed: And now, the best thing that's happened to dancing since feet! Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for the fabulous Commodores!
- [disco crowd roars]
- Bobby Speed: There's Walter! There's William! There's Thomas! There's Lionel! There's Milan! There's Ronald! Yeah! My men! The Commodores! Alright! Yeah! Hey! Hey!
- The Commodores: [singing] Well, you're too hot to trot now, baby, Well, you're too hot to stop, whoo, baby, Well, you're too hot to trot now, baby, Well, you're too hot to stop, whoo, baby...
- Bobby Speed: Until next time, this is your Zookeeper, Bobby Speed, reminding you: keep them feet movin' - or somebody'll steal your shoes.