Die Kröte

Umberto Lenzi gets his money's worth out of Tomas Milian by having him play twin brothers in their last collaboration. Not only twins - one of them is a bank robbing hunchback to boot!

The subtly named Humpo has come back to Rome after spending nearly two years in Corsica, and he's out for one big score. His gang thinks that's a great idea, but they also think that it's a good idea to put a bullet in Humpo's back as he's the most recognisable criminal in the whole country. Humpo is no fool, however, and escapes into the sewer with revenge on his mind...

This is basically the Tomas Milian show all the way, with Humpo being an angry, resourceful, righteous maniac who rolls about in piles of filth, takes great pleasure in outsmarting those who have double-crossed him, while all the while showing incredible love for his girlfriend Maria (who delights in helping Humpo out). The greatest scene in the film is when Humpo takes Maria out on a date and he takes her on the dancefloor, while all the rich folk around him start laughing and mocking him. Humpo seems to revel in it at first, much to Maria's horror, but then the tables are soon turned.

Humpo's twin brother Pigsty is a lot more subdued and docile, but he still shows he can outsmart people too. He gets his own subplot here as he gets sent to a mental asylum while covering for Humpo, and gets the more emotional scenes towards the end of the film.

Those looking for action might be let down though. There's not much here. This is known as a lesser Lenzi Eurocrime film, but think about how high he set the bar for himself.

This movie is a masterpiece (of course considering the genre and the historical period of the film). Tomas Milian, that plays both the parts of the two brothers, proves again to be a really great actor. The Italian slang (from Rome) is an essential part of the movie as well the vulgar jokes typical of many Tomas Milian Italian characters. Soundtrack also is great. Some of the scenes are memorable and the characters of the two brothers are very charismatic. Also the the movie has a more dramatic and serious tone compared to other Tomas Milian movies of that genre but at the same time doesn't lack of very funny moments. For me (considering that is an Italian 70's police movies) it deserves a 10/10 vote.

Tomas Milian returns in a pseudo-sequel / return to the universes of both FREE HAND FOR A TOUGH COP and ROME ARMED TO THE TEETH by reprising BOTH his roles from those films (albeit with the edges rounded out and the violence watered down in favor of comedy). This Eurocrime-iverse combination predates Marvel universe movies by at least three decades, though I wish I could say with more entertaining results.

Long before we got double the Van Damage in no less than five films, Tomas Milian handled a dual role accomplished largely through editing in this silly polizio-turkey. I have to point to one surprisingly effective VFX splitscreen shot where Milian talks to himself, just as I have to point out the tremendously terrible and distracting wigs Milian wears throughout the duration. Isa Danieli as Hunchback-Milian's stripper girlfriend puts in a heartfelt performance, and Italian voice actor Pino Colizzi puts in decent work as the requisite police inspector though he does feel like a cheap substitution for Maurizio Merli.

As it is, BANDA DEL GOBBO is a goofy and oddly nonviolent film you have to be in the right mood for. It's interesting to see Lenzi's usual cast of henchmen and character actors a little out of part, with this film bouncing back and forth between comedy and crime with varying degrees of success, but by and large it just feels embarrassing for both Milian and Lenzi, especially when considering their previous teamings. This would be their final film together.

Watch for: Francesco D'Adda (the "Where's Waldo" of Eurocrime movies") as Nurse Ratchet in a scene that spoofs ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST. This scene also includes a cameo by Jimmy il Fenomino, Italy's irritating answer to Andy Kaufman. Pierangelo Civera gets one of the better parts of his career as an undercover looney in the bin trying to make friends with Garbage Can-Milian in order to track down where Hunchback-Milian is, and suffers tremendous indignity as a result.

Ah, Mr. Umberto Lenzi … The man is a legend and a personal hero of mine, but I can't deny that "Brothers till we Die" is one of the most pointless and overlong Italian cult flicks I ever had to endure in my life. Lenzi single-handedly was responsible for copious amounts of notorious horror movies an he even is the second best Italian director in the field of violent crime movies (after Fernando Di Leo, hands down), but "Brothers till we Die" just looks as if it's a quickly scripted and nonchalant project to kill some spare time. The film suffers from a (too) thin storyline and – even worse – it carries on even long after the basic storyline has ended. Approximately 75% of the film is purely pointless padding where absolutely nothing happens apart from cult-veteran Tomas Millian giving a one-man double role show. He portrays the hunchbacked crime-lord of a big city as well as his docile brother with a nasty beard. Quasimodo-Millian plots a tremendously big heist, but he quickly gets double-crossed by his associates. He then engages his brother and uses him to fulfill his vengeance plans. Everything, from the planning of the heist over the treason and even the revenge itself, takes place during the first hour of the film, but for some inexplicable reason the story continues for yet nearly another full hour and it revolves on … absolutely nothing at all. The second half of the film simply depicts – in annoyingly great detail – the love/hate relationship between the Marazzi-twins but it's uninteresting, dull and entirely without excitement. "Brothers till we Die" is a complete embarrassment compared to "Almost Human" (Lenzi's ultimate crime-masterwork) and it's sometimes even difficult to accept the same cinematic "genius" made both movies. There's a severe lack of violence in this movie, the characters don't really have enough sadistic baggage and there's only ONE car-chase, which isn't even that impressive. Where's all the excitement? What happened to sleazy and politically incorrect sub plots? Where's all the stylish photography and lurid musical guidance? And, the most important question of them all remains: Who was the guy in the director's chair and what did he do to Umberto Lenzi?

Tomas Milian stars in this poliziottesco and he plays a dual role as scumbag twin brothers!; given that I too have a twin brother, I could totally relate to their love/hate relationship!

The lead character is a creepy-looking hunchbacked gangster (sort of a cross between Richard III and John Barrymore's Hyde in the 1920 version of DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE!) - who, actually, had already featured in Lenzi's ROME ARMED TO THE TEETH (1976); his brother is the dim-witted and more overtly comical "Monnezza", decked out in bum's clothing and sporting a particularly ridiculous Afro-wig (for him, this was the third and last appearance)! This is the first film I've watched for either of them and all I can say is that I was a lot more intrigued by the antics of The Hunchback...

The action scenes (often involving The Hunchback alone as "Monnezza" is useless in such situations - though he gets the last laugh!) deliver the goods but, even if the latter's low brand of comedy never really takes centre-stage, the film is still unbalanced by these scenes (though one in particular is quite inspired - when he's brought in for questioning at a police station and, in his feverish state of mind, mistakes a bearded hippie who's been arrested for Christ and thinks that he has died and gone to Heaven)! With respect to The Hunchback, the disco scene where he's ridiculed by the establishment's habitual bourgeois customers - to their eventual regret - introduces an unexpected poignancy into the fray (especially with the impassioned speech he delivers to them at gunpoint!), which suggests that the film-makers' intention was perhaps more serious than the end result would indicate...

As a matter of fact, star and director allegedly fell out during the making of this film (their sixth 'collaboration' in 4 years!) and, indeed, rather than sticking to a script Milian virtually improvised all his dialogue as he went along!! Besides, The Hunchback's nemesis here - Commissioner Sarti - is mostly ineffective (making a poor substitute for Maurizio Merli or even Luc Merenda) while the finale shamelessly rips off THE WAGES OF FEAR (1953)...but, at least, it does feature a typically bouncy score by Franco Micalizzi!