Drüber, drunter und drauf

Never before has a porn movie made sex seem so ridiculous. Up!'s over-the-top irony cuts so deep that it does not merely satirize itself nor does it stop at its genre: Up! makes sex itself seem so absurd that, after seeing this movie, one wonders why anyone's interested in it at all. The many positive sex scenes in the movie are not shot as porn so much as parodies of the notion of sex as bliss (note the quick cut aways and the scene changes (mostly in beautiful natural spots), creating a sense of hours of lapsed time while preventing any build-up of erotic aura). The many negative sex scenes in the movie never grant any empathy to the rapists, never provide any glimpse of pleasure in the rapists, and always include the victimized avenging themselves, thereby rejecting pornographic rape fantasies and demanding that the viewer do so as well (if s/he hasn't done that already) (note: this actually makes the rape scenes easier viewing than, say, the one in Boy's Don't Cry, which - ironically - is probably more exploitative).

Obviously, the movie is not easy to take. Watching it, I was full of wonder but can't say that it was enjoyable or even consistently funny. Compared to Beyond The Valley of the Dolls, this is much more sex-centered and much less of a movie. Once again, though sex-centered, the movie is not really porn in that it makes no attempt to be sexy, instead portraying sex and the culture surrounding it (porn, sexual politics, and Moral Majority-style opposition) as possibly the greatest farce of contemporary Western culture. Highly recommended for people with extremely open minds who are interested in seeing a destruction of auratic sex. For people interested in a good laugh or a good movie, you probably would want to check out something else. For people with any no-go areas, you should probably forget about this movie altogether.

Before finding fame as one half of influential film critic duo Siskel and Ebert, Roger Ebert tried his hand at screenwriting, penning several scripts for cult sexploitation director Russ Meyer: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls in 1970, Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens in 1979, and between those, wacky sexploitation comedy Up! in 1976.

Up! opens in full-on unhinged mode, with an ageing Hitler (Edward Schaaf) - hiding behind the pseudonym Adolph Schwartz - indulging in a variety of perverted sex acts conducted by well-endowed 'pilgrim' Paul (Robert McLane). Shortly after, Schwartz is murdered while in his bath-tub, the killer putting a piranha in the water. A naked Kitten Natividad, as narrator Greek Chorus, introduces several suspects, including Paul's attractive wife Alice (Janet Wood), buxom black-haired babe Margo (Raven De La Croix), local policeman Homer (Monty Bane), Asian beauty Limehouse (Su Ling), chesty gimp The Headsperson (Candy Samples), and The Ethopian Chef (Elaine Collins). Are any of these characters responsible for the Nazi's fishy demise?

With numerous big-breasted hotties, several scenes of forced sex, lots of consensual soft-core sex, frequent full-frontal female nudity, and some graphic violence towards the end (which includes an axe to the chest and a chainsaw through the stomach), Russ Meyer's movie is quite the eye-opener, a wild ride that forsakes things like narrative cohesion and logic in favour of boobs, bush, and satirical humour. It's a fairly uneven film with a plot that feels like it was written on the fly, but there is enough energy and spirit (and nudity) from all involved to ensure that, if anything, it is never boring.

To rate this Siskel and Ebert style: one and a bit thumbs Up!

During the 1970's Russ Meyer established a reputation for producing low budget movies exploiting violence and nudity which were very successful as midnight features in conventional cinemas, or at drive in cinemas. They established a recognisable genre which usually followed a similar template and made a Russ Meyer film very easy to recognise. Now that these films have reappeared on DVD's for home viewing, and are being featured on some TV channels, interest in them may be reviving. Their most characteristic feature is one or more very violent sequences in which characters who have received what should clearly be fatal wounds, pull themselves together and continue to cut themselves to pieces until even the director has been satisfied. Another almost universal feature is a cast that includes several very generously endowed young women who are not adverse to displaying their natural assets unwrapped. Other common features in Russ Meyer films are (1) great photography of a variety of exceptionally scenic locations (to my mind this is often the most attractive feature of his work), (2) a naked siren or spirit who watches over the proceedings, and periodically comments on them in a moralistic way, (3) a corrupt law enforcement officer with a voracious sexual appetite who eventually meets a "just" death, (4) a script which ultimately delivers violent death to all those characters that Meyer regards as completely antisocial (these include all homosexuals, anyone associated with the drug trade, and any Nazi supporters who have survived World War II), and (5) some sort of postscript that summarises the lessons which we are expected to have learned from the film that we have been viewing. "Up" was released in 1976 and is I believe the best, (or the worst - according to ones point of view), of the films of this genre he produced.

Such a film could not be easily imitated today, it dates from a time when the augmentation of mammaries was not usually practiced, so the fairly vigorous movements Russ required from his cast always led to very pronounced "bouncing boobs". Today most of the starlets who compete to participate in movies that feature their bare breasts, have had silicone implants which lead to a very different physical response. Whilst most of Russ's films feature such starlets in the cast, "Up!" may be the first where Russ recognised that these unusually well developed mammaries are often associated with an unusually generous pubic thatch, and also made a great effort to pay his photographic respects to this characteristic. Clearly the primary focus in the selection of the cast for this film was not acting ability, and too much should not be expected in this area. Nevertheless Raven de la Croix has an extremely expressive face which, when compared with some other Russ Meyer films, minimises any deficiencies in this respect.

This film also features all the other characteristics of his work listed above. The naked spirit who provides a periodic commentary is playfully portrayed by Kitten Natividad, who has a role listed as the Greek chorus and whose comments are frequently delightfully pretentious. Gory violence is perpetrated with an axe and a chainsaw, both of which appear to have been chosen by the characters concerned in preference to the firearm that they could also have used. This scene would be completely intolerable to view were it not filmed with such extreme hyperbole that it is reduced to the level of black comedy. "Up!" also features the ultimate in surviving Nazi supporters - Adolph Hitler himself, together with his daughter by Eva Braun, who in some way appear to have escaped from the bunker in Berlin and taken up residence in California. The story, such as it is, starts with the murder of Adolph and follows the search for his assassin. Continued flashbacks make it difficult to follow, but this film is comedy rather than drama, and anyone viewing it today will be watching it for the visual effects (including both the types of spectacular natural scenery so generously featured), rather than the story line.

A good review should help its reader to decide whether they would regard the film as worth watching. With "Up!" this is simple, if you are a fan of Russ Meyer but do not know this film, you should certainly, in my opinion, accept any opportunity to see it because it is a more mature production than many of those which preceded it. If you have not seen any of his films but are anxious to sample one of them in order to assess why they have become cult favourites, I would recommend "Up!" because it is very characteristic of, but less extravagantly presented than, many of his earlier works. If you are one of those to whom Meyer's somewhat incoherent films will not appeal, the information above should be sufficient to save you from investing valuable time watching it.

Up! (1976)

*** (out of 4)

Insane Russ Meyer flick written by Roger Ebert. A dictator (a Hitler spoof) is assassinated but who did it? That's pretty much the storyline for this film because the other 79-minutes are nothing but sex, big boobs, lumberjacks, more sex, lesbians, a fake penis and more wild and kinky sex. Pretty much everything that could possibly happen sex wise is thrown into this thing including three different rapes, which makes me wonder why Ebert went out of his way to try and get certain films banned due to their "treatment of women". The lack of plot really helps matters because in the end this is a very fun film full of laughs but it's mostly the outrageous sex scenes that make it so memorable.

Russ Meyer's movies have always struck me as a cross between porn and the Loony Toons. (The bleedin' obvious, perhaps...) Hence I don't see why RM even bothers with his quasi-plots, because it's really just the (large) breasts and the rest that matter. UP! has that unique and wonderful 70s look, but without the fast-forward button it is almost unwatchable, because far too repetitious and uninteresting. Plus, occasionally it has nonsense that cannot possibly appeal to any healthy heterosexual male: Hitler getting raped?? Who the hell wants to watch that? The bottom line is that isn't funny (and the other bottom line is that we need nore female bottoms). But what can one expect from the "renowned" film-critic and gourmet, fat Roger Ebert? He co-scripted this crap, a fact that neatly fits in with his horrible taste in movies (and, I presume, food, too). Perhaps the Hitler-rape has something to do with Ebert's clandestine sexual inner fantasy world? The dialogue, as in nearly all RM films, is dull and fast-forward-worthy.

UP! was made in the golden age, when implants very rarely infested the bodies of luscious Russ Meyer women. RM's later produce is full of silicone, hence totally worthless. I guess he must have been just like any other hick who cannot differentiate between a beautiful pair of naturally formed breasts and a pair that looks like it's been pumped at NASA.

UP! succeeds only as a "live" large-breast calender, to be viewed with the remote control close at hand. As usual, there is a fair amount of imaginative directing and wild editing, but when there is no plot (or even worse: an Ebert "plot"), it isn't of much use.

And the Fedor Award For Movie's Best Pair Of Large Breasts goes to (after much, much deliberation)... the Asian woman in the early scenes (Su Ling).

The Fedor Award For Movie's Prettiest Face goes to... Alice (J.Wood).

I wonder if these women were forced to undergo couch-casting with Ebert?... An awful thought. Perhaps only the Hitler actor had to...