- Menica: Lina, there's two policemen gotta make a search here.
- Lina Pasquini: Who gives a fat rat's ass?
- Fred: ...And who gets it?
- Norma: Well, why not ask the Captain?
- Fred: No, I mean who gets to go to bed with you? Do I?
- Tony: Or, Do I?
- Norma: You both may!
- Fred: What a sport you are! One of us gets it first by my rules. I'm against threesomes!
- Norma: Oh, but after I screw you, I can screw him. Bring a couple of friends if you want to. You take a woman to bed, and what do you give to her? When you reach your extent of possibility, I mean after only one, or two or three orgasms - we women have more in us than you think - I'm prepared to go all night.
- [Fred and Tony mutter incoherently and make for the door]
- Norma: My dear cocksmen, we girls have to work hard for the inadequate performance we get. We play to your masculine conceit, and make you feel like supermen.
- [Tony lights Norma a cigarette]
- Norma: Then you invite us to meals with a hundred courses, and you're through after the appetizer.
- Fred: Well, listen to Mae West!
- Norma: Only if we love someone do we ever get cheated. Then we don't mind how much he fails in bed. I just don't happen to love you.
- Fred: Okay, okay - so we go to bed together. Who gets it first?
- Norma: As you say, you go together!
- Fred: No way!
- Tony: I am able to convince you, that a woman's superiority is a fable.
- Norma: Terms like inferior and superior go with male phallocracy.
- Rick Conti: Phallo-what?
- Norma: Phallocracy.
- Fred: That means keeping women in their proper place with a stiff rod. She supposes all men are like the one or two queers she's had in her bed.
- Norma: When the fox can't reach the grapes, he says they're sour.
- Fred: Well, I've tired out as many as they come, so what do you say?
- Norma: They already tired you.
- Tony: Come on, Fred!
- Fred: I'll bring it up in the morning.
- Norma: What a surprise!
- Special Police Squad Captain: When you were tested for the special squad, every test revealed that your basic traits are criminal.
- Fred: But that's what you need to fight crime.
- Special Police Squad Captain: Yeah. What I can't explain is why you two, with your characteristics, applied for the police at all.