Duke: [to Carolyn] What kind of a mother are you? Spread out all over the world! You can't raise your kids long distance, or by teachers, a maid, or a grouchy grandpa!
Bert: Or a Bert! Your kids are a real handful you know!
Carolyn: And what would you know about raising my children?
Duke: Mrs. Osborne, we have just spent three straight days with your kids. When was the last time you did the same?
Duke: [to Carolyn] Your children are looking for attention and affection and they're going to get it from anybody they can, even two 'kind of' kidnappers.
Tracy: After Honolulu, we go to Australia, and then 14 hours later we're in Hong Kong with Mother.
Jay: It's a great plan, Tracy! If she can't come to us for our vacation then we'll go to her!
Tracy: Yes, but there's only one little problem. How're we going to get the $1200 for two tickets?
