- Cliff Brumby: [blocking Carter's path] Listen, I don't like it when some tough nut comes pushin' his way in and out of my house in the middle of the night! Bloody well tell me who sent you!
- Jack Carter: You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me it's a full time job. Now behave yourself.
- [Brumby takes a swing at Carter, who grabs his hand, punches him, and then slaps him in the face for good measure]
- Jack Carter: [as he's leaving] Goodnight, Mrs. Brumby.
- Jack Carter: You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow.
- Jack Carter: A pint of bitter
- [snaps fingers as bartender walks away]
- Jack Carter: ...in a thin glass!
- Jack Carter: [naked, pointing a shotgun] Out!
- Con McCarty: Come on Jack, put it away. You know you're not going to use it.
- Peter: The gun he means!
- Eric: So, what're you doing then? On your holidays?
- Jack Carter: No, I'm visiting relatives.
- Eric: Oh, that's nice.
- Jack Carter: It would be... if they were still living.
- Jack Carter: I'm off tomorrow, so I don't suppose I'll be seeing you again.
- Jack Carter: [Pulls out some large banknotes, giving some to Doreen] Here. Go and get your hair done.
- Doreen Carter: Thanks!
- Jack Carter: Be good... And don't trust boys.
- Jack Carter: What happened to you, then?
- Keith: [laying on a bed, bloodied and beaten up] How did you find me?
- Jack Carter: They give you a rough time?
- Keith: No... you bastard. You knew they'd come back!
- Jack Carter: No, I didn't. Does Albert Swift still live across the ferry?
- Keith: Get knotted!
- Jack Carter: Alright, alright, alright. I wanna square things with you, first.
- Keith: Oh, yeah? How?
- [Jack holds up a handful of pounds]
- Keith: Stuff it! My girlfriend's comin' from Liverpool tonight! Nice surprise, isn't it?
- Jack Carter: I'm sorry. Here. Get yourself a course in karate.
- [throws the money on the bed, then turns to leave]
- Keith: [groans in pain] Frank said you were a shit, and he wa' bloody well right! You even screwed his wife, didn't you? The poor bastard didn't even know if the kid was his!
- [Harry, who's playing poker, is disturbed by Carter's presence in the room]
- Harry: Thought you were going soon.
- Jack Carter: Soon. When you've lost your money. Won't take long.
- Harry: Clever sod, aren't you?
- Jack Carter: Only comparatively.
- Albert: [as Jack trains a knife on him] For Christ's sake, Jack!
- Jack Carter: You knew what I'd do. Didn't you, Albert?
- Albert: I didn't kill him!
- Jack Carter: [stabs Albert] I *KNOW* YOU DIDN'T KILL HIM! I *KNOW*!
- [Albert slumps over dead]
- Edna: [Pointing to a small wooden box that contains Frank's cremated remains] That was left for you this evening... What is it?
- Jack Carter: My brother Frank.
- Edna: Is he staying the night?
- Jack Carter: [not amused] Funny.
- [Brumby has suddenly disappeared from his meeting with the architects at the car park building; unknown to them, Jack Carter has thrown him off the car park balcony]
- Architect: It's very rude to disappear like that. Where can he possibly be?
- [Sounds of police cars converging on the car park can be heard coming from below]
- Architect: I have an awful feeling we're not going to get our fees on this job.
- Edna: What are you going to do?
- Jack Carter: I'm going to sit in the car and whistle "Rule Britannia".
- [last lines]
- Jack Carter: [having chased Eric to a beach until they are both worn out] I'll bet... you could use a drink.
- [throws him a bottle of whisky]
- Jack Carter: Couldn't you, Eric? Eh? Have a drink.
- Eric: You've still got your sense of humour.
- Jack Carter: Drink up.
- [Eric starts drinking from the bottle]
- Jack Carter: Drink up. There.
- [Eric falls down and keeps drinking]
- Jack Carter: [angrily] I want you... to drink all o' that. D'ya understand? Drink it all.
- [forces Eric to keep drinking]
- Jack Carter: Just like it was... with my brother Frank. Go on, son! Drink up!
- [Eric drinks until he starts coughing]
- Jack Carter: Drink it up, Eric.
- [forces him to drink again]
- Jack Carter: It was you! It was you 'ho poured it down him, wa'n't it? Eh, Eric?
- [Eric struggles to speak over his violent retching as Jack forces him to keep drinking]
- Jack Carter: What? What, eh? Did you all have a good laugh, eh? Did you 'ave a good laugh when he was spewing it up? EH? Drink up. Drink it. DRINK IT! DID YOU PASS THE BOTTLE 'ROUND... WHEN THE CAR WENT OVER THE TOP? EH?
- [Eric finally finishes the bottle]
- Jack Carter: GOODBYE, ERIC!
- [Jack brings the butt of his shotgun down on top of Eric's head]
- [first lines]
- Gerald Fletcher: Bollock naked with his socks still on?
- Sid Fletcher: Yeah, they do it like that - up North.
- Gerald Fletcher: What for? For protective purposes?
- Con McCarty: [to a naked Jack who is pointing a gun] Jack, don't you think you ought to get dressed first.
- Margaret: I can't help the way I am.
- Jack Carter: Why'd you see him so regular?
- Margaret: Once a week.
- Jack Carter: I call that regular.
- Margaret: He was gentlemanly. I like that.
- Jack Carter: Once a week, you like a gentleman, do you?
- Margaret: Look! I'm me, right? We are what we are, like it or not!
- Edna: What's that gun doing in your room? Suppose I phone the police, told them there's a bloke in my hotel... who's planning to shoot somebody?
- Jack Carter: You wouldn't do that.
- Edna: How do you know I wouldn't?
- Jack Carter: 'Cause I know you wear purple underwear.
- Edna: What's that supposed to mean?
- Jack Carter: Think about it.
- Glenda: You didn't know you had a fairy godmother, did you?
- Jack Carter: No, frankly, I didn't know that.
- Glenda: A fairy godmother - all of your own. Aren't you lucky?
- Jack Carter: Yeah. So, where are we going, princess?
- Glenda: To the demon king's castle, of course.
- Jack Carter: Of course. Where else.
- [Anna is having phone sex with Carter when her husband enters the room]
- Gerald Fletcher: What's the matter? You got gut trouble or something?
- Anna: No, darling. Just doing my exercises.
- [in the phone]
- Anna: Listen, Janet, Gerald's just walked in. I must ring off.
- Cliff Brumby: What the bloody hell's all this? Do you know what the bloody time is? It's two o'clock in the bloody morning!
- Jack Carter: I've always had your welfare at heart, Eric. Besides which, I'm nosy.
- Eric: Well, that's not always a healthy way to be.
- Jack Carter: [on the phone with Anna] I fancy you. I wish I was touching you - right now - making love to you. I want - to stroke you - and kiss you all over. Where are you?
- Anna: I'm in the bedroom. My black underwear.
- Jack Carter: The sexy, silk ones? Take your bra off.
- Anna: Stop it, darling.
- Jack Carter: Now. Go on. Now. Now, hold them - gently. Slowly. Imagine it's me. When we're in South America - we'll make love in the sun. Roll over. Make love again - and again.
- Jack Carter: Why don't you make us all a nice cup of tea.
- Edna: What are you gonna do?
- Jack Carter: Make us a cup of tea and I'll tell you. I might even let you watch.
- Jack Carter: You bloody whore! Frank was too careful to die like that. Now, who killed him?
- Margaret: I don't know nothing!
- Jack Carter: Listen, the only reason I came back to this crap house - was to find out who did it. And I'm not leaving until I do.
- Jack Carter: How did you know where I'd be?
- Glenda: You were seen parking your car. The demon king waved his wand and I was dispatched to bring you to him. Lucky for you, I waited.
- Jack Carter: Very lucky, I should think. You're drunk!
- Glenda: Nasty.
- Jack Carter: He must have been pretty sure I'd come.
- Glenda: Oh, he was! He told me a magic spell that would make you come.
- Cliff Brumby: You know my life: machines, the arcades. It's a nice business. It runs itself! People put money in - and I take it out. There's not much rough stuff. It's a business that makes me very happy.