3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt

I'm actually watching it right now. I went to IMDb for information on this disaster to see who to blame and for the first time ever felt compelled to leave a review. I can almost hear the applause from audiences in movie theaters cheering when the film may have broken and caught on fire. I have no idea of who the target audience for this bomb may have been but I suspect there was CIA involvement with ideas of torturing communist spies with it.

Mamie Van Doren was in some genuine clinker movies but this is the most forgettable of them all. The premise is beyond absurd and its execution while being captured on film leaves one with the feeling those responsible for it should have been captured and executed. Save yourself the time and pain of viewing any of it and head straight for YouTube to watch bloody drivers education training films like "Signal 30" that have higher production values and better plots.

What a breath of fresh air this movie is. It has the wit of Frasier, the physical antics of a Jim Carey picture and the insight into characters that has a real bent outlook on life. It's dark, funny and full of life. It certainly should be on anyone's overlooked list.

This film essentially begins with an exotic dancer by the name of "Saxie Symbol" (Mamie Van Doren), a used car salesman "Joe Lynch" (Paul Gilbert) and a male fashion model named "Bruce Bernard" (John Cronin) living together in a spacious house in an effort to save money on the rent. As it so happens, each of them also have some emotional issues that need to be worked out so in order to once again save money they decide to hire an unemployed method actor by the name of "Tommy Noonan" (as himself) to act as a conduit of sorts for each of them in front of a psychiatrist named "Dr. Myra Von" (Ziva Rodann). Needless to say, when Tommy assumes three separate identities at her session, Dr. Von becomes convinced that this strange case of schizophrenia is an excellent opportunity for her to advance her own career and soon the entire world becomes fixated on the problems of this poor man. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this film turned out to be a terribly uneven comedy which had potential but lacked the necessary depth to really stand out. On the flip side, however, Mamie Van Doren definitely stood out and in my opinion elevated this film to a certain degree by her beauty alone. That being said, while this certainly wasn't a great comedy by any means, it had its moments here and there and for that reason I have rated it accordingly. Average.

Tommy Noonan at least makes a better creative and funnier writer than he does as an actor. The problem with 3 NUTS IN SEARCH OF A BOLT is that it doesn't go far enough. By that comment, I am not referring to the obvious digs at the psychiatry profession, which this movie accomplishes with the greatest of ease. There is also a few digs about movies, where the ideas come from to make them and how they get made. The problem is these digs are half-hearted and don't go far enough. Also, the sex and nudity quotient is just not there and it needed to be. The movie is even tame by the sex standards that were around when it was made! And that's what I meant by the movie just doesn't go far enough. If the film had the audacity to be an out-and-out sex film first and a good spoof of psychiatry second, this movie could have put Tommy Noonan right up there alongside Russ Meyer as a great director of sex films. As it stands, this movie doesn't even come close to even the worst of Russ Meyer's films. The funniest scene in the picture is the bar robbery scene where it seems that a lot of ad-libbing was going on or seemed to be and that made this particular scene a standout.

If you've never seen Mamie Van Doran, imagine a low-rent Jayne Mansfield with even less talent. If you need proof, take a look at 3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt. In this one, Van Doran plays Saxie Symbol (oh, how clever), an out of work stripper who happens to have two male roommates. As luck would have it, all three are in need of therapy, but that costs more than the trio can scrape together. So they decide to hire out-of-work method-actor Tommy Noonan (played surprisingly enough by Tommy Noonan) to learn all he can about the three roommates and act like each during a single therapy session. That way, they hope to get three diagnosis and cures for the price of one. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that Noonan is diagnosed as suffering from split personalities. Unfortunately, the movie still has about another hour of runtime to go.

I can sum up my feelings toward 3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt with two words - lame and tame. This is supposed to be a comedy, but you've got to look hard to find anything approaching humorous. I wasn't expecting something that would have me doubled over with laughter, but I'm not even sure I cracked a smile during the entire movie. Van Doran's acting isn't that bad in comparison with the rest of the cast, but that's not really a compliment. Something tells me that Van Doran wasn't brought on board for her abilities as a thespian anyway. But other than a "blink and you'll miss it" bathtub scene, 3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt has very few of the salacious moments promised in the trailer. Noonan not only stars in this thing, but he's also has the distinction of being credited as the co-writer, co-producer, and director of this mess. Good going, Tommy!