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Auch die Kleinen wollen nach oben

News Announcer: Yesterday morning at 11:00 o'clock the Duchy of Grand Fenwick launched a two-man rocket toward the moon. Officials at Jodrell Bank tracking station reported that the rocket is on course, and should undoubtedly reach its objective. This unexpected achievement has been welcomed throughout the world as an example of true international cooperation in space. The rocket's nuclear fuel was developed by Grand Fenwick. The rocket itself originated in Russia, and the entire operation has been financed by the United States. The wristwatch worn by astronaut Vincent Mountjoy is of British design and manufacture, purchased by the spaceman while a student in England. It is a stainless-steel anti-magnetic self-winding watch, shockproof and waterproof. One of our correspondents who visited the Manchester factory where it was made found workers and management proud and elated that a British precision instrument is playing such a vital role in Man's greatest venture. Their feelings were summed up by Mr. Albert Thorpe, foreman of the works, who said, "This is a great day for us, let no one say Britain is lagging behind."

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: Benter, you know the Constitution as well as I do. I warn you, if you don't keep that daughter of yours under control, I shall have her beheaded - or worse.

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: I propose - we request a loan for research to build a rocket to send a man to the moon.
Benter: Rocket? We can't even build fireworks.

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: Remember, the Americans are a strange people. Above all, they want to be loved.

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: Gentlemen, you are all aware that we face a grave crisis in the wine industry. If we are to lose our main source of income, then we must take new and drastic steps to save the economy and, even more, to save the vary existence of our beloved country.
Benter: Such as?
Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: Such as installing indoor plumbing.
Benter: Indoor plumbing?
Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: Precisely, indoor plumbing to - encourage the tourist trade.
Benter: All you want is a hot bath for yourself! Does anyone really think that our country's tragic situation can be rectified by installing a few indoor privies?
Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: Modern living demands indoor privies! Everyone wants them.
Benter: I don't. They're not sanitary.
Grand Duchess Gloriana XIII: Surly, this is a matter that should be discussed by the Privy Council.
Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: I hardly think so, Your Grace. It isn't that kind of privy council.

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: The truth is I think I'm finished. You see, this week tomatoes. Next week, bombs.

Vincent Mountjoy: Why did they chase me? Who are they?
Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: Young beatniks.
Vincent Mountjoy: Beatniks? Here?
Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: Things have changed. We live in grave times, my boy.

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: The money is for modernization, plumbing, hot - steaming - baths.

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: "So I ask you to back me in my efforts to put Grand Fenwick on the map. Let our watchword be: Forward with the people. The skies the limit." Get the idea? Goes equally well for rockets or plumbing.

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: Cynthia, listen, this boy worries me. I think he's touched. This mad desire for physical fitness, it's not healthy. Why, you're an attractive girl. Can't you interest him into more manly things? You know what I mean.

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: The American taxpayer has always been deceived. It is his birthright.

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: I'll announce it on television. Fireside chat to the nation. We've had that set for three years. It's about time we used it. How shall I begin? "Good evening." Brilliant!

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: My dear boy, don't you understand? That's good for every taxpayer. It takes the rivalry out of the space race, makes the world safer for it, and we get our bath tubs.

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: You're always exploding things. Could you make a realistic explosion inside that Russian hot water heater?
Professor Kokintz: That Russian what?
Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: The rocket.

Vincent Mountjoy: I shouldn't have said that. Nobody's supposed to know. Forget it please. I'm - I'm a monkey! I'm practicing to be a monkey. Not an astronaut.

Professor Kokintz: We have many other birds worth watching. For example, last Sunday, down by the villa, I counted seven different kinds of tit.

Maurice Spender: I'll tell you everything you want to know about British Intelligence!
Professor Kokintz: We don't want to know about British Intelligence.
Maurice Spender: Oh, yes you do!

Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy: Vincent! What on earth are you doing with those chickens?
Vincent Mountjoy: Fresh eggs on the way out and roast chicken coming home.

Bracewell - U.S. Delegate: [reading a newspaper headline] "Grand Fenwick to Beat US to Moon - Using Last Year's Wine Crop"

Professor Kokintz: A disgrace! Wherever civilization goes, garbage is sure to follow.

Professor Kokintz: This moon is a nice place to visit; but, I wouldn't like to live here.

British Delegate: My apologies, Gentlemen, for bringing you here on a Saturday afternoon, but I spent this A.M. with the P.M.

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