Ring of Terror

This film wasn't released until 1962.My guess it was shot no later than 1957 and sat on the shelf for years.Too bad it didn't stay there.

The film centers on a fraternity hazing ritual played on medical students.One student who is seemingly without fear has to remove a ring off of a corpse in a mausoleum.

There are no scares and no real laughs to this flick. What you do have:

1)A band that plays in the school cafeteria called "The Campus Cool Cats"

2)The worlds oldest college students.Most of them looked like they're attending on the GI bill from WW II.

3)Some idiotic cemetary caretaker and his snivelling little cat Puma who introduce the film.Actually it is more like pad an extra five minutes onto the film as he chases the cat all over the cemetary.

4)Nice use of black and white photography

If you have guests or in laws over that can't take the hint to leave, slap this in the vcr and watch them run screaming off into the night.

This murky film with terrible sound looks like it was filmed around 1939. It's about a bunch of geriatric medical students eagerly awaiting their first autopsy. One unshakable elderly boy's creeped-out girlfriend wishes he was studying anything but medicine. So why is she dating guys from med school? Is she going to medical school too? Or is this a college where you can major in being a doctor, with a minor in communications? It's hard to tell, and the women in in this movie don't seem to ever have to go to class.

Anyway, some middle-aged fraternity pranksters make the elderly boy steal a ring off a corpse, an urban legend that should take five minutes to tell and doesn't bode well stretched out to feature length. I'm not going to give away the ending, suffice to say the old man's weak ticker factors into the plot.

To pad out the running time, lots of time is spent dwelling on the two fat characters, exploring the theme that fat people love to eat and should be mocked for trying to do anything other than that. There's also a lengthy intro (and outro) by Bob Dobson, a creepy, cemetery-dwelling loser who stomps on his cat Puma's tale and mocks the dead. He must be the Crypt Keeper before the Crypt Keeper died and rotted and gained a penchant for bad puns.

The actual "plot" of the movie is completely unoriginal so I won't talk about that.

What I get such a kick out of, is the caretaker guy at the very beginning and ending of the film! Mr. Dobson, I think his name was. Someone decided that this guy wandering aimlessly in a cemetery looking for a cat named Puma (i least that's what I think he was saying) would make for a great opening to the film. He finds the cat, steps on it, it runs away, and he begins all over again! It represents the pure incompetence that runs through this film.

Also be sure to look out for the fat couple and a really "funny" frat guy you'll want to kill after watching him for about 10 sec.

This is one of those rare horror movies..the ones that try to bore you to death. This movie is one long snooze-fest, as it follows the adventures of an over forty, robotic med student, his ditzy girlfriend, and his 'frat buddies', all also over forty but amazingly childish. Looks like they all got stuck at about the age of eight emotionally.

The film starts out on a graveyard(great place for it), with a skinny caretaker deliberately stepping on his poor cat's tail, this after he'd spent ten minutes calling the thing "Pe-yuma!" he caroled over and over, until the viewer has the urge to reach into the screen and slap him hard. And then he trods on the cat's tail, after he went to all that trouble to find it! All to set up a really stupid scene where he talks about the life of the guy who's tombstone he ends up leaning on after he chased the (rightly) outraged cat through the cheap cardboard tombstones.

The med student who's life and death he details might already have been dead, so wooden and dull is he. Even when he's fishing a six foot rattlesnake out of the back of his car(well, at least it interrupted the incipient make out scene), he never bats an eye or emotes at all. How much Robitussen did this guy drink before he went on set?

This mook wants to join a fraternity at his college(a fraternity for guys over the age of forty but still in school, apparently). As part of his initiation, he has to endure whatever hazing his not very imaginative colleagues come up with. They tell him he has to retrieve a ring off the finger of a corpse, the dead guy being the body they'd seen dissected a few days ago as part of their classes. He goes and does it, but apparently Mr.Nerves of Steel is afraid of enclosed spaces and the dark, and so is scared to death when the corpse's arm brushes his. Lame. We spend sixty minutes wading through the plodding set up for this? This trite, heavy handed 'ironic' ending? Where's John Belushi when you need him?

As the end credits rolled to the execrable Ring Of Terror the first thing that occurred to me was that it had not succeeded to be any genre of movie at all, and I don't mean that in the good Donnie Darko way either.

The main problem is that it is essentially a Twilight Zone style set-up/payoff story but the film skirts so lightly over the setup (our main character has no fear) that the final pay-off seems utterly unconnected to anything. On top of that the payoff happens so swiftly that there's no dramatic tension at all.

The second problem is the tone. The movie starts off as a horror. Well, if you can class a campy actor looking for his cat (Puma!) in a graveyard while spouting nonsense actually horror. But once the opening credits have played the movie swiftly becomes a teen high school movie, so by the time the climax wrenches the viewer awkwardly back to horror we'd forgotten anything horrible was ever supposed to happen.

All of the other usual b-movie flaws are also evident - the bad acting, incredibly hittable 'comedy' characters, cheesy script. On top of that most of the college kids are played by really old actors. I'm not talking Danny and Sandy old here, these folks are literally in their forties with wrinkles and receding hairlines. It makes it very difficult to get into the story when they're so clearly not college kids.

In short don't think of watching this without the MST3K crew to help you along. It's easily one of the worst I've seen on MST3K.