- Bob Miles: Why don't you straighten up?
- Wilbur Hoolick: Oh, I am straightened up. It's just that my shoulders are stupid.
- Wilbur Hoolick: [Imitating a French barber] Eef you lay one... If you lay un hand on me, you know what I will do?
- Noonan: [nastily] What?
- Wilbur Hoolick: I'll bleed! Au revoir.
- Ticket agent: [referring to Wilbur who is disguised as a 12-year-old with a ray gun in order to get a half price ticket] He's going to be a space cadet?
- Bob Miles: If he lives, he'll be a space cadet.
- Mrs. Ella Brennan: [as Noonan, masquerading as Wilbur's father, takes his "son" out of school] Take good care of him.
- Noonan: [with irony] Oh, he'll be taken care of.
- Wilbur Hoolick: [after Noonan starts to strangle him] I don't want to go.
- Mrs. Ella Brennan: Why, Wilbur?
- Noonan: Yes, tell her why.
- Wilbur Hoolick: Well, because, you see, I'm not really a little...
- Wilbur Hoolick: [he realizes he cannot reveal the truth] I like it here. I want to go to school here.
- Mrs. Ella Brennan: This is a girls' school.
- Wilbur Hoolick: That's why I like it here.
- Mrs. Ella Brennan: Wilbur's a very remarkable boy. In this day and age, it's so difficult to rear a child properly.
- Noonan: [posing as Wilbur's father] Yes. I wouldn't give you 10 to 1 on a boy like Wilbur living to grow up.
- Mrs. Ella Brennan: Oh, that's a little on the pessimistic side, Mr. Hoolick.
- Noonan: All right, I'll make it 8 to 1.
- Nancy Collins: What's the matter with you? You're trembling.
- Wilbur Hoolick: I have very loose bones.