- Joe Doakes: "Net profit or loss from business or profession" - Well, it might be a profit or, if you looked at it from another point of view, it might be loss. That's the way it goes; you can't tell.
- Joe Doakes: Now, all these questions here, I would advise just answering "no" to, because the government doesn't know, the government doesn't care, and it's all - this is all a matter of form in here. All these are - marriage, and do your transfer - all that. That doesn't count.
- [first lines]
- Joe Doakes: [dealing with heaps of paperwork] ... Be right with you in just a minute, folks... There - settles that... Well, let's see. It's the, uh, income tax day, and... well, supposing we... start first with the general theory of the income tax, and get that out of the way. We - then we can take the - some of the specific problems, and get those cleaned up. And then... whatever time we have left, we can just sit and chat.
- Joe Doakes: Here is the income tax return. Well - name, address; that ought to be pretty easy... unless you're drunk.
- Joe Doakes: You will see that this little slip of mine, innocent as it was, saved me quite a lot of money, and didn't do the government any harm because the government didn't know.