- [to Stan, as he pokes Ollie's bulging belly with a pistol]
- Dutchy Glassman: If you don't tell me where the bomb is, I'll plug your friend here so full of holes he'll look a Swiss cheese!
- Alva P. Hartley: Here you are, Junior.
- [Alva hands Egbert his allotment of pills]
- Egbert: Gee, the neck as usual. I'm getting capsule-happy now.
- [after consuming his pills, Grandpa coughs violently]
- Grandpa: I got a bone stuck in my throat.
- Aunt Sophie: Don't bolt your food, Grandpa. (to Stan and Ollie) He always does that, especially when we have fish.
- Oliver: What a beautiful picture.
- Alva P. Hartley: Yes, that cost a lot of money. It's a Vandyke.
- Stanley: A what?
- Alva P. Hartley: A Vandyke. You know what a Vandyke is.
- Stanley: Oh, yeah. My uncle had one, but he had to have it shaved off.
- Oliver: Shh!
- Stanley: What?
- Oliver: Vandyke was a painter, not a beard.
- [Stan and Ollie have been invited to dinner]
- Oliver: I'm famished.
- Alva P. Hartley: We'll start with the turkey.
- [he uncovers a tray holding a number of pills]
- Alva P. Hartley: Will you have light meat or dark?
- [Alva plunks some pills on the boys' plates]
- Stanley: Could I have another joint?