- Trudy Harlan: You boys believe that Grant has a great future as an inventor, don't you?
- Oliver Hardy: Well, I believe that Grant'll be an inventor of the first rank.
- Stan Laurel: What's rank?
- Oliver Hardy: You are! SHUT UP!
- Stan Laurel: [taking a book out of the bookcase] "Boswell's Life of Johnson." Gee, I bet that's interesting.
- Oliver Hardy: Yeah, I remember that Jess Willard knocked him out. It sure was a hot day!
- Stan Laurel: Gee, I'll have to read that.
- Stan Laurel: I don't mind starvin' again.
- Oliver Hardy: It's all right with me.
- Stan Laurel: You know you can't keep an egg in two baskets. That's silly... unless you want to scramble them. I wouldn't be that stupid, you know. I knew a fella once that he had some money in the bank, and he wouldn't draw it out. And, you know what? He lost his job, and still he wouldn't draw it out. Then he starved to death - that killed him. And then he died, and after he was dead. A friend of his got all his money, and he drewed it out of the bank. and I could live happily ever after. Yes, sir!
- Woman at dancing school: [referring to Stan's ballet dancing] Isn't he light?
- Mother at Dancing School: [with disdain] In the head!
- Oliver Hardy: [with disgust] You make me sick!
- Stan Laurel: Well, we've all got to live and learn, you know.
- Oliver Hardy: Yeah, but you just live!