- [first lines]
- Man in Manhole: [while eating lunch] Say, Joe - what would you do if a lady fell in this manhole?
- Joe - Man in Manhole: Stand up like a gent!
- Man in Manhole: That's all you know! You don't stand up - you tip your hat!
- Restaurant Gossip: Henry Adams was with me. You don't know Henry Adams; oh, he's a sweet boy. Why, I used to go with Henry before I married George, you see. Well, so, Henry was with me, and Henry was a little bit tight, and he has one of those high-pitched voices, and he laughed and laughed - and George heard him on the phone.
- Alfred's Wife - Party Hostess: Oh, Alfred - tell us about the time that you and Joe were on the roller coaster at Coney Island.
- Mr. Benchley: Oh, that's too long a story.
- Alfred's Wife - Party Hostess: Oh, no, it isn't. Go ahead and tell it.
- Mr. Benchley: Oh, but it has no point!
- Party Guest: Well, I've never heard it.
- Alfred's Wife - Party Hostess: Alfred, stop acting like a schoolgirl. Really, it's a very funny story!