- Ted Wright: Oh, wait 'til I tell you about the time Joe and I made a blind date with two girls that called at the drug store.
- Joe Gimlet: You mean the Chippeway twins.
- Ted Wright: Ha-ha. The Chippeway twins. We called them Africans and they turned out to be Indians.
- Joe Gimlet: New Deal, heh? This fellow Roosevelt just tryin' to get the banks out of a jam, that's all. What about the rest of us fellas? If I was down there in Washington, boy, I'd show 'em somethin' different.
- Mary Gimlet: [Finding hidden money in the cash register] Holding out on me, eh?
- Joe Gimlet: Oh, I, eh, you see the banks being closed, I thought I'd save that for a rainy day.
- Mary Gimlet: Well, it rained this morning.
- Joe Gimlet: Ah, listen.
- Mary Gimlet: I'll be the bank for this family until the regular ones open.
- Ted Wright: You got any money?
- Joe Gimlet: Well, not, not on me.
- Ted Wright: No, I mean saved up.
- Joe Gimlet: Four thousand smackers.
- Ted Wright: You know, seeing you and Mary like this, makes me feel as though, I'd like to do something for you.
- Joe Gimlet: Well, as the lady said to the sailor, nothing's stoppin' you.
- Joe Gimlet: I got some brand new ideas about running a drug store. We ought to sell bathing caps, alarm clocks, and sandwiches.
- Mr. Cradwell: You want to sell sandwiches in my pharmacy?
- Joe Gimlet: I can make things hum around here!
- Mr. Cradwell: Plenty of hum around here as it is.
- Elvina Wright: Well, what do you care what Mary does and who she goes with?
- Joe Gimlet: That's right. I don't care! I don't care what she does. Do anything she likes. Marry a Chinaman for all of me.
- Joe Gimlet: Gee, fellas, I wish I was going with you, but, I guess, it ain't in the cards. I've been listening to these orators standing up here telling you about the glories of fightin' for democracy. It made me feel a little sad. It's alright to talk about glories, but, what you're going to find is mud and more mud and cooties and lots of other things that ain't so nice. You're going across the seas and you're going to be charging through barbed wire and muck and weeds and you're going to chase those Heinies out of gas. Then, you're coming back here, most of you, and when you do maybe you won't find so much cheerin' and band playin'. And maybe you'll have just a little trouble findin' a job. I ain't sayin', but, maybe. So, I tell you what I'm gonna do. I've made a lot of money, selling trucks to the Army. I'm gonna give it to you. I'm gonna put one million simoleons in the Corliss National Bank. So, that when you come back. Every enlisted man here, yes, and the officers too, can walk up to that cashier's window and draw out two hundred bucks for himself, whether he has a job or not. And I don't mean maybe!
- Elvina Wright: Well, it's your own fault. You've neglected me, running around making speeches, interested in nothing but making money.
- Joe Gimlet: Well, who's been spending the money? Who wears the diamonds and the rubies? Who's got three servants just to massage her alone... I get two-timed. Okay, baby, get up and start packing. You're leavin'.
- Joe Gimlet: What are we havin' for dinner?
- Mary Gimlet: How would you like corned beef and cabbage?
- Joe Gimlet: I don't like it.
- Mary Gimlet: Well, that's what you're gonna get.