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Black Easter (2021)

Director: Jim Carroll

Stars: Morgan Roberts, Ilsa Levine, Lamar Usher, Gerardo Davila

Is There A Plot?

Young genius Ram Goldstein accidentally invents time travel, only to see his scientific breakthrough immediately stolen by Muslim terrorists who want to go back 2,000 years and murder Jesus Christ. (Spoiler alert: Jesus dies.)

What’S The Damage?

After so many years doing this, it’s rare that a movie manages to surprise me with its insanity, so let us give thanks for the miracle that is Black Easter. There’s just something so special about watching a film made for Christian audiences where their Lord and Savior is executed at point blank range by a special forces mercenary who says this line:

I cannot believe Belfast won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay over this.

With its twisty time traveling and absolutely bonkers plot, Black Easter is like a a two-hour episode...

Who says faith-based movies can't be fun?

Probably a lot of people, including those who refused to make it, even after scriptwriter, Jim Carroll, won more than 60 awards for his script at various film festivals in 2020 with a film called Assassin 33A.D. That doesn't mean they're right.

Even with all of the accolades, Carroll couldn't sell the film, so he decided to make some changes. I haven't seen Assassin 33 A.D., but from what I understand, Black Easter is a more pithy version that has been edited to appeal to a broader audience.

That makes some sense since this is a Christian, faith-based film. The premise is that a Muslim billionaire named Ahmed hires a group of geniuses to create a time machine so that he can go back into time and kill Jesus for perpetrating one of the biggest scams of all time.

Before you get a chance to say it,...

Stars: Donny Boaz, Morgan Roberts, Isla Levine, Lamar Usher, Gerardo Davila, Jason Castro, Heidi Montag | Written and Directed by Jim Carroll

Written and directed by Jim Carroll, Assassin 33 A.D. takes the basic tenets of the faith film genre (i.e. Christian values) and shoves them into a schlocky, overly violent time travel plot. The result is deeply misguided and comfortably one of the worst films ever made.

After a prologue in which security guard Brandt (Donny Boaz) loses his faith after the death of his wife and daughters in a car crash, the plot centres on a group of science geniuses – including straight-laced team leader Ram Goldstein (Morgan Roberts) and his devoutly Christian colleague-slash-girlfriend Amy (Ilsa Devine) – who accidentally invent time travel while trying to create a matter transporter.

Their joy in their discovery is short-lived, however, because their wealthy boss Ahmed (Gerardo Davila) is secretly a Muslim terrorist...