- Max: What's happening?
- Teddy McGiggle: We're all gonna die.
- Vivienne: Are we gonna die Miss Caroline?
- Miss Caroline: No. It's part of the game. The zombies are not real.
- Teddy McGiggle: Like fuck they're not!
- Teddy McGiggle: I fucking hate those little Kiddlywinks. Fucking the shit out of their moms was the only thing that made it better, until it didn't.
- Teddy McGiggle: You realize that you're only doing it because you're dead inside. And it's the only thing that keeps you from killing yourself.
- Teddy McGiggle: Go away!
- Miss Caroline: We have kids out here!
- Teddy McGiggle: Oh my god, I don't give a shit.
- [last lines]
- Teddy McGiggle: I Hope You DIE
- Teddy McGiggle: [beating zombie-fied kids] I Fucked Your Mother... I Fucked Your Mother Too
- Miss Caroline: [Felix is having an allergic reaction] It's Got Dairy In It
- Dave: [astounded] How Can Crisps Have Dairy In Them?