Aquaslash

All I knew about this 2019 movie titled "Aquaslash" when I sat down to watch it late in 2020 was that it was a horror movie of sorts. I hadn't heard about the movie prior to watching it, nor did I know what it was about. But it being a horror movie and a movie that I hadn't already seen was more than sufficient to make me spend time to sit down and watch it.

And while "Aquaslash" certainly was no classic or masterpiece within the horror genre, the movie just felt rather pointless. I mean, the storyline was almost next to non-existing, and there was literally nothing much contents to the plot and script, and that made for a rather mundane and sort of pointless movie. And little did it help that it is only about the last 15-20 minutes of the movie or so that were worth watching.

The acting in the movie was actually quite alright, taking into consideration that abysmal lack of proper storyline. I wasn't familiar with the cast in the movie, and that was something I enjoyed.

For a horror movie then "Aquaslash" just didn't have any splash to it - pardon the pun. It was a movie that came and went without much of an impact, much less leaving a lasting impression. I managed to sit through the movie to the end, but I wasn't particularly entertained.

The gore and effects in the movie were actually good enough, but it was just too little and too late in the movie, so it couldn't really do much to lift up the movie and steer it back on track.

My rating of "Aquaslash" lands on a mere three out of ten stars.

Slasher movies have a lot of tropes, but usually there's some kind of story involved as well. The story in this movie is extremely thin.

I kept wondering what alternate universe this takes place in, where high school students (!!) are having sex in the park, doing drugs openly, bikini car wash (in 2018? More like a wet t-shirt contest anyway), and so on.

And the park manager and staff are clearly not meant to be running a lemonade stand, much less something like this. It stretches credulity beyond the breaking point.

You kind of know you're in trouble when they add a Wilhelm scream so early on into the movie... you just know they're going for the cliches, and they don't disappoint in that regard.

Ultimately it all boils down to one big set piece (no spoiler here, it's in the movie poster and trailer) of criss-crossed blades in the water slide. But, I mean, that's really it. There are the "killer POV" shots of some mysterious person doing other things, and preparing the slide, but it's kind of boring.

By the time anything really starts happening, even the average movie watcher has figured out the "whodunit" part. Oh, and the weird end-credit scene... what the heck was that? I wondered why, earlier in the movie, there was a totally off-kilter scene with a strange kid and his injured foot. I figured it was just sloppy writing and editing (which is a good guess, because the movie is full of that), but... that's the payoff? A stupid end-credit scene? It didn't even make sense.

Don't bother watching unless you're bored. I gave it 3 stars because I did watch it while I was bored, and the best thing I could say about it is, I did end up watching 'til the end just to see if I was right about who the mystery killer is. If you want to avoid wasting your time, I'm sure some review here has a spoiler you could read.

One of the worst writing and acting I have ever seen! I've seen plenty of "B" movies or straight-to-DVD movies, and I've never seen such nonsensical carelessness by the whole film's cast and crew. I don't think this director knew much English as that's why the dialogue was written so terribly. No normal human talks or behaves the way every single character acted in this movie. Editing was also so lazy, I can't believe somebody was paid serious money to do this!

"Your dead father left you the whole estate." Girl turns around -- "Oh my God..." -- with a blank stare.

Guy covered in blood, screaming -- "Don't go into the slide! Something is wrong!" Another guy rolls his eyes -- "Dude relax! You need to chill..." -- as he jumps into the slide and dies.

There was an incident in our city Edinburgh of someone who put razor blades in a flume... This was about 20 years ago. it is so clouded with mystery no one knows if this was really true, or fabricated but it definately put many people off from venturing down the slide. This film brought back that childhood memory just bigger blades. Unfortunately the pace of this flick was more than questionable and there was a lot of weak points in the script... it's not a complete waste of time but with little to no character depth etc etc... it is hard to name many positives. Ah well over all it is not the worst ever!

How can a movie with so many people attached to it be so bad? It means that during the writing, rehearsing, filming, post production that no one had the guts to stand up and say "this isn't working." This is an AWFUL movie on every level. Dialog. Characters. Plot. Special effects. There isn't even any 'eye candy' to keep you distracted. The women are all objectionable. The 'bro dudes' are so over the top and poorly acted that you WANT them to die horribly. Why would you intentionally make characters so unlikeable? I mean every single one.