The Kingdom of Var

How this movie possibly has a rating of 3.3 (as of this writing) is a bloody mystery. If I could give this a negative rating, I would have gladly and deservedly done so. When I see films this devoid of any redeeming qualities with a rating they don't deserve, I assume the friends, family and acquaintances of every human being associated with the production have been coerced into rating it favourably.

Every single aspect of this film, from conception through execution are fifth rate. You'd almost think this was produced by a 13 year old using an iPhone 4 over a long weekend.

Acting: horrible.

Continuity: Non-existent Production qualities: ZERO.

Where do I start. Ok, acting .....Not really sure there was any. Script? Same again. Direction, camera work, lighting, editing? Think again. By far the worst film I have ever attempted to watch. Time to find another career for all involved.

I don't know where to begin with this. The Camera work is bad, some shots are out of focus, angles are off, some bad choice edits, as well I felt none of these actors had experience. The only good character who you could tell had acting experience was Elmer. The writing is odd ball for sure, and to be honest I don't think would fly well with most people. The jokes could be offensive to some and I guess it's a niche kind of style. This really felt like someone was like hey lets grab a cam recorder and make a film with friends. The audio is definitely not remixed you can tell the levels change and are not consistent. The story is also problematic a lot of the jokes and dialogue are just off to me? The story needs a major overhaul to be decent.

• but first I had to realise that it was all intentional - in that no one had a shred of talent OR simple knowledge of HOW TO FAKE IT. Script, sound editing, camera, and acting, oh acting! You know, where you go by method and put on an observed real life character's ways and modes or you practice stance, walking, talking, mimics and gestures from observing yourself or other actors - that acting. But neither is this movie.

Sorry, hard pass. Only excuse: It's a Time Travel movie. You know:

2019 I The Kingdom of Var II 81 min I dir. Nicholas Kleban I Magic, Time Traveller I 21st century I NOTE: Student film.

Borderline horror version of "The Room" with awful acting, props, effects, plot, camera work, editing, and just about everything else BUT you can't look away as the incredibly strange acting of the lead is jaw droppingly odd, leaving you to wonder if she's mentally ill or that was just a gonzo choice. The circular story is sort of okay, if just so amateurishly done that it all falls flat. You're bound to get a lot of laughs though, so it's a perfect party movie.