I'm Not Ashamed

Let me start by saying the death of anyone at the age of 18 is by definition a tragedy. Rachel Scott who was a committed Christian never got a chance to put her life and beliefs into a wider world. Who knows what a longer life experience might have made of her. Masey Mclain gives a most touching performance as Rachel, the first person killed in the Columbine High School massacre of 1999.

The larger issues of why such weaponry got in the hands of these two disturbed individuals Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold is totally ignored. We see a bit of what turned them into what they became, bullied kids who finally just snapped. I read with fascination the fact that a line was omitted from one of these characters where he admits to being gay and he's afraid of winding up like Matthew Shepard. As this is a Christian film it sure wouldn't do to admit homophobia might cause a person to snap.

The story of Rachel Scott is what is concentrated on in I Am Not Ashamed. But who knows if there had been less of a bullying atmosphere and no easy access to weaponry that tragedies like Columbine might not happen.

Hopefully a more intellectually honest film will come along and do just that.

On April 20, 1999, in Littleton, Colorado, two Columbine High School students, seniors Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, murdered 12 students and 1 teacher at their school and injured 21 others in the deadliest U.S. school shooting to date. The first of the students killed was 17-year-old senior Rachel Scott, who was eating lunch with a fellow student just outside the school. The film "I'm Not Ashamed" (PG-13, 1:52) is Rachel's story. The script by Philipa Booyens, Robin Hanley, Kari Redmond and Bodie Thoene doesn't shy away from the buildup to the shooting, but this isn't primarily a story of tragedy. It's a story of faith.

In most ways, Rachel Joy Scott (Masey McLain) was a typical high school girl. She had supportive friends, but she was insecure. She was attracted to one of her classmates, but lacked the confidence to pursue her crush. She had struggles at home and sometimes did things that got her in trouble with her parents, but she wasn't really a "bad" kid. She had hopes and dreams, but couldn't see what life had in store. And she kept a journal, which forms the basis for the narrative of this film, plus first-hand accounts about Rachel's life and the circumstances surrounding her death… only weeks before she would have graduated. (Note: Rachel isn't the Columbine victim who was the subject of the book "She Said Yes".) As the film opens, Rachel's divorced mother, Beth (Terri Minton), is having trouble supporting herself and her five kids. (Rachel is the middle child.) Beth eventually remarries, but she and her new husband, Larry (John Newberg), have problems steering Rachel toward making positive choices in her young life, as when Rachel sneaks out at night to attend parties with her friends (Victoria Staley, Taylor Kalupa and Emma Elle Roberts). Rachel is being raised in a household of strong Christian faith, but doesn't really embrace that faith until after spending the summer before her senior year with family in Louisiana.

Even when she makes her family's faith her own, she struggles to live according to the Bible. She seems more concerned about pursuing a romantic relationship with Alex (Cameron McKendry), the BMOC in her drama class, and she shies away from discussing her increasing faith with him. Eventually, her commitment to Christ strengthens to the point that it drives a wedge between her and her closest friends. Yet, she still continues seeking, learning, growing in her faith, and finding ways to live out that faith, such as when she determinedly befriends and helps a homeless teen named Nathan (Ben Davies).

As Rachel's story unfolds, two of her classmates, Eric Harris (David Errigo, Jr.) and Dylan Klebold (Cory Chapman) bond over their shared hatred for high school culture and the world in general. With Harris taking the lead, the two teens begin discussing acting out their frustrations through violence and plan what became the Columbine Massacre. As their story careens toward its tragic collision with Rachel's, the focus stays on Rachel's spiritual journey and director Brian Baugh handles Rachel's final moments tastefully and with compassion (although he does take some liberties with a few of the factual details).

This is an inspiring and tragic story, with appeal beyond the Christian community. The Columbine Massacre is an event of ongoing interest and relevance, so there's understandable interest in a film set against that backdrop. This movie stays just this side of exploitation, but does indulge in a few brief moments of melodrama. The story of Rachel and her classmates is engagingly and realistically told and generally well acted. However, regardless of your personal religious beliefs (or lack thereof), Rachel's struggles with issues of faith and personal conduct should be relatable to most Movie Fans, and Rachel makes for a very sympathetic character. With built-in drama and universal themes, "I'm Not Ashamed" rises above most faith-based films in both appeal and quality. "B+"

How fortunate that Rachel Scott's diary was found in order to have a view into one of the lives lost at Columbine. It must have been heartwrenching for her family and friends to see this on the "big screen," but perhaps it provides a way for them to honor her life and help to continue the healing process.

Because the subject matter is so disturbing, I do agree with a PG-13 rating. That being said, I also believe this movie should be shared with every youth group. It would also be beneficial as part of schools' "anti-bullying" programs.

Each person impacted by Columbine has their own unique story. The struggles and questions faced by Rachel were well portrayed. The actors who were cast as Rachel and Nathan did an excellent job. Very believable.

This movie showed how kindness, compassion, and forgiveness can change hearts and lives. Rachel's brief life continues to have ripple effects nearly 20 years later. The Lord truly must have welcomed Rachel into heaven with "Well done, good and faithful servant" and continues to use her life to point people to Him.

I'm Not Ashamed is based on the life and premature death of Rachel Joy Scott, a student who went to Columbine High School on the fateful day Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris committed, what was at the time the worst school shooting in U.S. history. The film is brought to you by Pure Flix Entertainment, an independent Christian film and television studio which should give you an indication of who this movie is for and what it's trying to accomplish. Given my particular track-record with this production company, I came in fully expecting to hate this film - especially given its uncomfortable subject matter. Yet by the time the film reached its inevitable, heartbreaking conclusion, I must admit, this little Christian title had me a bit misty-eyed.

The film begins with a young Rachel drawing on her wardrobe cabinet with Crayon. We're given a brief tour of her broken home before she's whisked away as a teen to Louisiana for the summer to stay with her aunt (under the pretense of avoiding negative influences). It is in Louisiana she rediscovers Christ, starting her sophomore year at Columbine as a baby born again with a necklace cross to prove it. Yet as she rejoins her friends she soon recognizes the struggle of being disciplined in a school culture dominated by teenage angst, blossoming libidos and weekend partying.

Is I'm Not Ashamed Ham-fisted; yeah, pompous and overbearing; sure, amateurish in its execution; you bet, but the story, partially taken from Rachel's diary has a ring of truth to it. We're put into her head-space and can empathize with her struggles to fit in while staying true to her values, finding humility in ourselves as she stumbles, falls and gets up again learning as she goes. For once I felt like I was watching a movie about a Christian instead of a Christian movie. It never feels like a lecture or a sermon but rather a case for understanding; a peek into a worldview through a coming-of-age tale.

The story is served stupendously by the young Masey McLain who doesn't so much debut as arrives to the medium announcing she's the genuine article. She easily sidesteps the stodgy staging, internalizes the poorly delivered lines of her counterparts and reacts like everything is designed for her. That's no easy feat when you have a movie that has her pulling a manic pixie girl routine for a homeless man (Davies) with poorly designed tribal tattoos and the haircut of a 1960's NASA employee.

Additionally, the very rudimentary direction and cinematography can't help but undercut the film at every turn. There wasn't a single inspired moment. Of course an argument can be made that I'm Not Ashamed purposely eschews the Norman Rockwell sheen of Miracles from Heaven (2016) or Heaven is For Real (2014) to give it a certain authenticity. Yet I'd be more receptive to that idea if it wasn't so obvious they were trying for it. At it's best the film has the poorly executed sweep of a below average music video complete with scenes of the least exciting teenage ragers in history. At its worst I'm Not Ashamed resembles a Valtrex commercial.

A lot can be said about producer David A.R. White and Pure Flix's unabashed cavort towards Christ-ploitation but at least there's little doubt they actually believe what they're selling. I'd be lying if I said I didn't pruriently enjoy the flippant potshots towards groups not attune to the film's values - in this case the silliest analog is Cameron McKendry as a crush who "doesn't want to use labels". At this point, the kind of culture war contrarianism this kind of stuff is known for should be reacted to with a roll of the eyes.

Yet when all is said and done, Rachel's initial message of compassion and kindness shines through the usual muck and noise. While yes, it might be just as shabby looking as your average 7th Heaven (1996- 2007) riff, the familiar wrapping shouldn't necessarily dissuade. For once we're treated to a grown up, Christian worldview that proudly states what it's about instead of quibbling over what it's against. Considering that almost never happens, I'm Not Ashamed is arguably the best Christian film made yet.

And yes I did chuckle during the credits when, once again, we were zealously given the number to the film's text campaign.

Based on the journal of a person who had got killed in the 1999 shooting at a high school in the US. Really inspiring character and the story, till that final horror event. But the real shame was, the filmmakers used it to promote religious. Or maybe they have highlighted too much from the religious aspect. Because, her life and that horrific event connected with her unexpected prediction which are only a coincident, rather any miracle from heaven. I'm not against believers, but I anticipated honest, a reality, not fantasy.

So coming to the film, apart from misusing a real person's life, it was a nice film. Nice casting and performances. Masey McLain was so pretty and awesome in her role. Don't expect it to be the film about that 1999 shooting. It was not about that, except it had a connection as everything was built behind it. They have shown very little from that angle towards the end. Some of the real footage attached in those parts. Yeah, the end was emotional as expected. Everyone might not find it a good film for what I had told earlier, nevertheless the true story deserves some respect.

6/10