Biografie

ADD affects not only children but adults as well. I know this because I saw it on PBS. I had no idea. As a list of symptoms scrolled across the screen, I became alarmed and was this close to diagnosing myself with adult ADD, until I was distracted by the birds, then a toaster.

With the exception of career drag queens, men have no business in bra departments.

Most people experience marriage as a daily series of mundane assurances: there will probably be no sex tonight; siblings fight dirty; if you land in the hospital at least one person has to show up; if you land in jail that same person will bail you out; this hospital/jail person will never learn to properly load a dishwasher; their grooming habits will always strike you as bizarre; dripping faucets are always your fault; there will never be enough money for college; your toddlers are spreading peanut butter on your rug. Right now.

Sometimes soulless dialogue, bad acting and apocalyptic role models really are the best medicine.

I've dropped every ball ever thrown to me, lost every race I managed to finish and I throw like an armless mermaid.