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While watching a local newscast while waiting for a football game to start, twenty-something slacker Sean Connery (no relation) sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, a local TV reporter named Susan Dalton. With the help of his best friend Patrick Lazenby and a computer geek named Desmond, Sean sets out to "accidentally" meet Susan. Complicating matters is Sean's ex-wife who not only still loves him but who still lives with him.

When the beautiful and popular head cheerleader at suburban Plano North High School is kidnapped, high school outcasts Henry Welles and Kip Peterson take it upon themselves to solve the kidnapping and rescue the cheerleader in an effort to improve their social standing.

Two guys sit in a car and discuss the finer points of Phoebe Cates.

James and Maureen Pastorini wake up to find an unexpected visitor in their home. An attractive but very dead woman has mysteriously appeared on their dining room floor, creating something of an inconvenience for the couple. Without any answers and not wanting a big hassle with the police, the couple decides to get rid of the body on their own. This leads to encounters with an overly talkative detective and his near-silent partner, a redneck farmer with a strange offer, a Mafia hoodlum with experience getting rid of dead bodies and the biggest horror known to man, the mother-in-law.

An officer of the Intergalactic Time League travels to 2007 to prevent a tragedy.

A man follows a series of enticing notes into an unknown future.