Here's your story. WARNING! It's really crazy. If this ain't your cup of tea, then ignore this thread.
In battle sometime in the Early 41st Millenium, Badrukk's Ork Forces and Abbadon's Chaos Forces were fighting each other. The battle was hopeless, until Badrukk and Abbadon engaged in a Challenge, except it wasn't really a Challenge. Abbadon raised his lightning claw (with built-in storm bolter), but then, he lowered it when he saw that Badrukk did not raise his weapon. "If you were anything but an Ork, I'd kill you. But since we are Allies of Convenience, I'll let you live," said Abbadon. "I'll accept dat," said Badrukk. "We can work together, if it's OK with you," said Abbadon. "That's fine wiv me," said Badrukk. And so, the battle was a draw. The Chaos forces ran away, the Ork forces (with Abbadon and Badrukk together) went back to the space hulk. When Boss Fart saw Abbadon and Badrukk together, he was astonished. "How did you and Abbadon get together?" asked Slime. "Oh, we decided not to kill each other," said Abbadon. "Us Chaos Marines and Orks are Allies of Convenience, according to the Rules." Slime's jaw dropped to the floor, which caused great laughter from everyone in the room, except Abbadon and Badrukk (The laughter was ended when Badrukk shot a blank with Da Rippa). For 3 years or so, Abbadon and Badrukk worked together. Combined Arms Detachments were taken, about 1000 points of Chaos Marines with 1500-1800 points of Orks. All this ended one day, when Abbadon betrayed Badrukk. Badrukk could not find his Gargantuan Squiggoth. Abbadon claimed he did not know anything, but an alternative source (a Flash Git) said that "While I waz keepin' watch, I saw Abbadon releaze da Squiggoth. I was going to tell ya dis mornin', but I couldn' find ya." Badrukk found Abbadon later, and he strapped him down to extract part of his memory so he could find out what Abbadon did to the Squiggoth. This is what happened. Abbadon had taken the Squiggoth to Nurgle's palace so there would be food for Nurgle and his minions. The Squiggoth was killed, and what was not eaten was frozen for later meals. Unfortunately, Badrukk inadvertently extracted any mention of himself from Abbadon's memory, so that when Abbadon woke up, he did not remember the following: Anything to do with Badrukk The Squiggoth Abbadon almost fought Badrukk, but he was chased out of Badrukk's base with the help of Flash Gitz. Badrukk felt no joy in this whatsoever. He had just lost one of his best friends from the only army he could ally with no problems. Badrukk quickly got over the loss of Abbadon, and he continued his life without Abbadon. However, he will never forget his days with Abbadon, even though there were only a few of them.
I'm sorry that this is crazy, but I was inspired by the Avatar Room.
[Surgery ward]
GROTSNIK: (removes bandages) Kinstorg! Vital Signz?
KINSTORG: Low but wivvin acceptable parameterz, Dok.
BADRUKK: Wot do ya needz, Dok?
GROTSNIK: Hand me da cybork bug. It lookz like a green jewel.
(Badrukk fumbles around for it, and finally gets it. Grotsnik applies it to the neck wound. Almost immediately, metal tendrils start growing)
GROTSNIK: Nothin' ta worry abou'. It growz da cybork neck.
KINSTORG: Spore Prezzure, 98/63. Pulse, 45bpm. Body Temp, 97.2.
(The cybork neck has finished growing)
GROTSNIK: Reverse sleep gaz!
(Slime wakes up)
BADRUKK: Boss Fart, can yeh hear me?
SLIME: (yawns) Kaptin!
GROTSNIK: I gave yeh a cybork neck. We're moving yeh to da recovery ward soon. Yeh'll be laid up fer abou' a week. Da 'ead yeh found is a new speciez of attack squig. Since yeh were da first ork ta discover it, why not name it?
SLIME: I will name it. But not now.
(Grukk walks in, his squig trailing behind him)
GRUKK: Alright, Grotsnik! My squig'z betta now. Apparently it waz a viruz only 1 in 1000 squigz are immune ta.
SLIME: Hey, Grukk.
GRUKK: How are yeh, Slime?
SLIME: Betta now.
GRUKK: I'm happy right now. (squig bites Badrukk) DATZ A NASTY SQUIG!
GROTSNIK: (inspects Badrukk's bite) It's pretty shallow. Nothing I can't handle.
BADRUKK: Do I get a cybork too?
GROTSNIK: Nope! Just replace banadgez every 6 hourz till healed.
BADRUKK: Aye, Aye, Dok Grotsnik.
(Slime is moved to the recovery ward.)
After Grotsnik has taken care of the daemon-inflicted wounds...
[Grotsnik's office]
(Grotsnik is looking at his computer screen, and is muttering to himself)
GROTSNIK: Squig...positive? Let'z run da resultz again.
(Same results. Computer says 'New Speciez of Attack Squig discovered'.)
GROTSNIK: (hits com panel) KINSTORG! How's Boss Fart?
KINSTORG[OC]: I've jus' replaced da bandagez. Still bleedin' profusely.
GROTSNIK: Take 'im to da Surgery Ward. I'm givin' 'im a parshul cybork. I'll be dere in five minnitz.
KINSTORG[OC]: Yes, Dok.
[Surgery Ward]
(the room is grey, and has more advanced medical equipment. Grotsnik walks in)
GROTSNIK: Kinstorg, you'll moniter his vital signz. Badrukk, you'll provide da toolz.
SLIME: Wot about me?
GROTSNIK: We're givin' yeh a parshul cybork neck. Yeh should servive.
SLIME: Awright.
GROTSNIK: Allright, everyone. Dis procedure can be verra dangerouz, but I 'ave full confidense dat Boss Fart will servive. Kinstorg, apply da sleep gas.
(Slime falls asleep)
GROTSNIK: I'll remove da bandagez.
[Serious Wounds Unit]
(Grotsnik comes in)
GROTSNIK: Kinstorg, yer relieved.
KINSTORG: Okay, Dok.
(Kinstorg leaves)
GROTSNIK: Badrukk, Grukk, I've got someone inveztigating da sick squigz. Slime, I needz ta look at da results, but Painboy Frezone says dat he finks what bit yeh iz a new speciez of attack squig. But first, I needz ta change yer bandagez.
GRUKK: Allow me, Grotsnik.
GROTSNIK: Grukk, if yeh're gonna be an idiot, den ya can leaf. Dis is a verra seriouz wound.
GRUKK: (tenses up, then releases the tension) Whatever.
(Grukk leaves)
BADRUKK: He'z been like dis all day. Not sure wat's gotten inta 'im.
SLIME: Could I join dis conversashun?
GROTSNIK: What ya need ta do, Boss Fart, iz relax an' don' talk. Badrukk, step outside fer a few minutez while I change da bandagez.
BADRUKK: All right.
(Badrukk steps outside)
GROTSNIK: Before I change da bandagez, did Kinstorg do well while I waz gone?
SLIME: He changed da bandagez 'unce or twice. It'z still bleedin' profuzely.
GROTSNIK: (to himself) And I waz on'y gone fer two hourz...
SLIME: Dok?
GROTSNIK: Talkin' to myself, Boss Fart.
(comm beep. Grotsnik hits the com panel)
{NOTE: Grotsnik is applying dressings to Slime's wound while he is talking}
GROTSNIK: Yez?
KINSTORG: Dere's bin annuver daemon attack. I've got 2 nobz 'ere with seriouz woundz.
GROTSNIK: 'ave Painboys Jimmbio an' Illya 'andle it 'till I get dere.
KINSTORG: It'z seriouz. One ov 'em may needz a Cybork body.
GROTSNIK: I'm almos' done 'ere. I'll be dere in a minnit.
KINSTORG: All right.
SLIME: Yeh'd betta get down dere, Dok. It soundz seriouz.
GROTSNIK: I'm done anyway. Hit da com panel if ya need me. An' I'll look at da data gathered soon. Just try the stay awake. We can' have annuver dead boss on our 'ands.
SLIME: I'll try.
GROTSNIK: I'll be back.
(Grotsnik leaves and Badrukk comes back in)
SLIME: So, Kaptin. Tell me about yer relashunship wiv Abbadon da Despolier.
Names of Characters
Slimefart Gitsmaka
Mad Dok Grotsnik
Painboy Kinstorg
Grotsnik's team of scientists
Grukk Face-Rippa
Kaptin Badrukk
[Battlefield]
(Slime is looking for treasures left behind and he finds a Genestealer head)
SLIME: Hmm...an 'ead? A perfect decorashun for me bosspole!
(He puts it in a bag jangling with stuff)
Later...
[Library on Space Hulk]
(the only ork in the library is Slime. He is reading a book called "How to beat Hive Fleet Whupass" and his bag starts moving)
SLIME: 'ello? (sees bag) I don' recall puttin' anyfing live in 'ere...
(the bag is opened and the Genestealer head bites deep into his neck)
SLIME:WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!! GET DIS FING OFFA ME NECK!!!!!
(After 10 minutes of running around trying to pull the head off, the head is ripped off and put in a cage. Slime has a very deep wound on the left side of his neck)
[Grotsnik's office]
GROTSNIK: By Gork an' Mork, Boss Fart, I mus be dreamin'.
SLIME: I assure you dat yeh are not, Dok. (holds up cage with head in it) Dis 'ead bit me on da neck.
GROTSNIK: I can see dat. Well, come along to da seriouz woundz unit, I can take a betta look dere.
[Serious Wounds unit]
(a painboy is tending to medical tools)
KINSTORG: What can I do fer ya, Dok?
GROTSNIK: You can get outta me way and let me work.
(Kinstorg leaves)
GROTSNIK: My-oh-my, Boss Fart, dis iz a bery deep wound. It almost reached yer spinal cord. What in the name of Gork were you doing?
SLIME: I was readin' a book, me bag started movin', I open da bag and da 'ead I got from da battlefield bites into me neck.
GROTSNIK: I'll admit yeh. I need to study da 'ead. KINSTORG!
(Kinstorg comes back in)
GROTSNIK: Put some bandages on dis wound. It's verra deep, so be verra careful. Oh, and Slime? Do you need anyone wiv ya? Besidez Kinstorg, that is.
SLIME: Call up Kaptin Badrukk and Boss Grukk.
GROTSNIK: (hits com panel) Paindeck to Grukk and Badrukk. Please report to the seriouz woundz unit on da paindeck, room 1. And don' take da shorecut. I've had ta treat 6 daemon-inflicted woundz today.
GRUKK[OC]: Whatever, Grotsnik.
BADRUKK[OC]: On my way.
(Kinstorg begins putting dressings on Slime's wound)
GROTSNIK: Just hit da com panel if ya needz me, Kinstorg.
KINSTORG: Yes, Dok.
GROTSNIK: I'll have to study dis 'ead so I know how ta treat yer wound, Boss Fart.
(knock at the door)
KINSTORG: Come in!
(Grukk and Badrukk come in)
GROTSNIK: Keep 'im awake. I don' know what's gonna happen if he lozez consciousness.
KINSTORG: Aye Aye Dok!
BADRUKK: Yes, Dok.
GRUKK: Yeah, alright.
SLIME: Grukk, keep yer temper in check. I'm in no condition to put up a fight.
[Science Lab]
(Grotsnik comes in with the cage)
GROTSNIK: Boyz! Get yer moon-suitz on! We needz ta analyze dis 'ead.
(A few minutes later, the boyz have their moon suits on)
GROTSNIK: Analyze dis 'ead. Take some blood samplez, saliva samplez, any samplez you can think of. We'll reconvene in an 'our. Am I clear?
(Silence)
GROTSNIK: Begin.
(Painboyz start working, the head snapping and biting as much as it can)
[Serious Wounds Unit]
GRUKK: So yeh were bit.
SLIME: Yeah.
BADRUKK: By an 'ead.
SLIME: A genestealer 'ead, to be clear.
GRUKK: Me squig's sick. Won' eat or attack.
BADRUKK: Strange, my gitfinda squigz are also sick. They can' see. And they won' eat.
SLIME: I don't 'ave a squig yet. Kinstorg?
KINSTORG: Yes Boss Fart?
SLIME: Have you seen any sick squigz lately?
KINSTORG: You'll hav ta axe Illyeh. I don' see squigz.
[Science Lab]
GROTSNIK: Are we done?
ALL BOYZ: Yep!
GROTSNIK: Forward da resultz to my office komputa, I'll study them to get an idea on how to heal Boss Fart.
PAINBOY: Done.
GROTSNIK: And someone investigate da sick squigz!
(Badrukk is going to the Avatar Room when Nucleogenic Lifeforms come and kill him. His flash gitz go the opposite direction and the Equinox lands. Marla Gilmore comes out of the Equinox)
Later, with our flash gitz…
FLASH GIT 1: Where to?
FLASH GIT 2: Our respawning stashun. Yeh know, I’m sehprised you can hold yer snazzgun da right way.
(Flash Git 1 slaps 2 across the face)
[Respawning Station-6 hours later]
ORK DOKTOR: Wata! 100 gallonz!
(it is poured into a cauldron with a great splish-splash)
ORK DOKTOR: Sporez!
(spores are thrown in)
FLASH GIT 3: Did anyone remember da rippa?
(muttering)
FLASH GIT 2: We’ll take dat as a no. Any idea wat happened to it?
FLASH GIT 4: I’m bettin' dat squig took it.
FLASH GIT 2: Oh yeah, dat squig.
FLASH GIT 3: Who among us will trek back to da Avatar Room an' get Da Rippa?
FLASH GIT 5: I will.
[Avatar Rom]
(Knock on the door)
MARLA GILMORE: I wonder who that could be.
(Door opens)
FLASH GIT 5: We needz Da Rippa.
MARLA GILMORE: It fell on my head earlier. Here it is!
(it is given to Flash Git 5)
FLASH GIT 5: And is dat Badrukk’s body in da corner?
MARLA GILMORE: Yep. I assume you’ll need that too?
FLASH GIT 5: Keep it. At least, till Badrukk’s back. Good day ta you.
(Door shuts)
GOLD AND BLUE CREATURE: How unsurprising. The crew of the USS Equinox is now helping the orks.
MARLA GILMORE: The git came in asking for Badrukk’s gun, I gave it to him. What’s so wrong with that?
[Respawning Station]
FLASH GIT 5: I got Da Rippa. Some girl named Marla Gilmore had it.
ORK DOK: Put it on da stump next to da cauldron. We needz ta invoke Gork and Mork.
(It is put on the stump)
ALL: Gork and Mork, if ya can hear us, invoke yer spirits upon Badrukk.
(a few minutes later, Badrukk comes out of the cauldron, fully clothed, minus Da Rippa)
BADRUKK: Stupid Nucleogenic Lifeformz.
ORK DOK: Your gun, Kaptin.
(Badrukk takes it)
BADRUKK: Who had it?
ORK DOK: Someone named Marla Gilmore. We were able ta get it back. Are ya ready ta go back to the Avatar Room?
3 hours later, Slime, Badrukk and Laru met up at the entrance.
"Interested in anyfink?" asked Pretzel.
"Here is our list: We would like 4 Baby Squiggoths, 3 Regular Squiggoths, 2 Big Squiggoths, and 1 Gargantuan Squiggoth. How many teef?" said Laru.
Well, let's see. That would be, errr...
Pretzel thought for a moment.
"200 li'l teef, and 220 Big teef. Koff up!," said Pretzel.
Badrukk gave Pretzel the teef.
"While yer here, would ya like to look at our inventory of embryoz? Unfortunately, the Small Squiggoth embryoz are not for sale at any price," said Pretzel.
"When's our next appointment?" Slime asked to Badrukk.
"Not for a while. We'll look at your embryoz," said Badrukk.
"Good den," said Pretzel.
The room of the Embryoz was cold. So cold, Slime thought he would freeze. It did not happen, however.
There were embryoz of Squiggoths Slime nor Badrukk nor Laru had ever heard of. No embryoz were taken, however.
The Squiggoths and lots of Squiggoth food and supplies for Squiggoth keeping were transported back to the Space Hulk. After settling the Squiggoths in and saying goodbye to Pretzel, they went to Razzagash for the Squiggoth's training.
So, this is at the very bottom of the exalted list.
let's continue.
Slime, Badrukk and Mekboy Laru transported down to the surface of Kelpstash, Warboss Pretzel there to meet them. Badrukk and Laru were introduced, and then Pretzel took them to what he called the "Squiggoth Pit"
The doors to the Squiggoth Pit were opened, and they all saw a remarkable sight.
There were squiggoths of all kinds. Gargantuan Squggoths, Big Squiggoths, Regular Squiggoths, and many Baby Squiggoths. They were all caged, except for the Baby Squiggoths, which ran around freely.
"Look around. Maybe you'll find sumpin' you'll like. Our Garguntuan Squiggoths are 50 big teef, which could also be 100 li'l teef, our Big Squiggoths are 40 big teef, which could also be 80 li'l teef, our regular Squiggoths are 30 big teef, which could also be 60 li'l teef, and our Baby Squiggoths are 50 li'l teef, and we don' accept big teef for da Baby Squiggoths. Normally, da Entry Fee is 5 li'l teef, but I'll waive it for y'all, just becuz I'm dat kind 'o' guy," said Warboss Pretzel.
A Baby Squiggoth came to Pretzel. It had big eyes, and its horns were just starting to grow.
"No, it's not time for food. Now run off and play," Pretzel said to the Squiggoth. It ran back to the rest of the Baby Squiggoths.
Everyone looked around at the Squiggoths.
After the party, Slime, Badrukk and the space hulk krew boarded the space hulk and went into the warp.
A day or two later (Slime nor Badrukk couldn't tell) they arrived at Kelpstash.
"We're being hailed," said Jukpot.
"On screen," said Badrukk.
Warboss Pretzel, the Squiggoth Dealer, came onscreen.
"Slime! So good ta see ya again!" said Pretzel
"Good to see ya too," said Slime.
"I'll ferget all da beat around da bush klunk. About a week ago, some ork scientestz left a bunch 'o' Squiggoth embryoz. We identified a new species of Squiggoth, one we've named the 'Small Squiggoth'. But dere's only 3 of doze embryoz. We've kept 'em cold for now, but we were hopin' dat you could take sum embryoz off our handz," said Pretzel.
"We'll take a look. But first, why did ya call Lotzaboltz on a code 47 and not tell 'im much?" said Badrukk.
"I'm afraid 'o' communication ova da warp. The chaos gawdz are alwayz monitoring us," said Pretzel.
"Fair enouf," said Badrukk. "We will be down wivvin da hour."
Pretzel went offscreen.
During the party on Razzagash, Big Mek Lotzaboltz took Slime aside.
“I got a message from the Squiggoth Dealer on Kelpstash. A code 47,” said Lotzaboltz.
“Code 47. Warboss's eyes only,” said Slime.
“Apparently some scientestz left a bunch of embryoz. He's got his doks working on it, but he's pretty sure they're Squiggoths,” said Lotzaboltz.
“What d'ya need me fer? He'z got 'undreds of other warbosses out there!” Slime yelled.
“He wouldn't tell me much, but he sez he knowz ya personally. He wants your space hulk to get to Kelpstash with all available speed,” said Lotaboltz.
“Wait, could dis be Warboss Pretzel?” asked Slime.
“He would not give me his name, but like I said, he knowz ya personally, said Lotzaboltz.
“Pretzel waz usually scared of communication, it has ta be him,” said Slime. They went back to the party.
And 30 minutes or so later, a frag missile had been loaded with krak power. Everyone on the bridge watched as the missile fired. The missile hit the core, and then the core opened into a black hole.
After battening down the hatches and reinforcing the hull and shields, the space hulk headed into the newly-formed black hole.
It was just like the trip 1 billion years into the past. Microfractures and breaches formed along the hull. Consoles exploded. The difference this time, however, was the navigational controls were offline and the thrusters were pushing the hulk forward, not backwards.
And then, they came tumbling out of the black hole.
"Position?" asked Badrukk.
Hellpit looked at his ruined console after banging his fist on it a few times. "Right where we expected to be, Kaptin. Da present."
Big mek Lotzaboltz came onscreen. "I hope you are back in da present."
"We are," said Grotsnik.
"Then load up your supa-rokkit and close da black hole," said Lotzaboltz.
And 1 supa-rokkit fired.
First, the black hole's gravity well increased by a factor of 50. However, the space hulk was out of range. Then, the black hole got smaller and smaller. Just before it closed, a shockwave of interstellar dust came out of it, rocked the space hulk, and then, the hole closed forever. The bridge krew (and the meks on Razzagash) cheered. The space hulk then came to Razzagash for their promised party.
It was a wild party. There was lots of gunfire, good squigs, and big machinery. The party lasted 3 days.
THE END
Meanwhile, on Razzagash, Big Mek Lotzaboltz was talking to his assorted mekboyz.
"I want ya the build a tellyport blasta that can tellyport through time," said Lotzaboltz.
"Yes, mek," said his mekboyz.
Meanwhile, 1 billion years in the past, on the space hulk, Mekboy Laru and his Grot orderlies and riggers were working on the thrusters. Slime came in to watch.
"How goez da work?" said Slime.
"Very good, Boss. We're just about ready to reverse da Thruster Intake Valve," said a Grot.
A com beep went off. It was Lotzaboltz.
"Are you ready?" said Lotzaboltz.
"Should be ready (sound of metal twisting) now!" said Mekboy Laru.
"Good," said Lotzaboltz. "Let it be known that if this does not work, we're rigging a tellyport blasta that should bring ya back."
Everyone (except the grots) got back to the bridge. Even Grotsnik was there.
"Do it," said Badrukk.
"Navigational controls offline," said Krotnik, a boy at the helm. Thruster fire commencing in 3...2...1...Now!"
Everyone watched the viewscreen as the supergiant's layers were blown off. Meanwhile, in the present, in Lotzaboltz's office, Lotzaboltz was watching too. About 2 minutes later, the core remained. So far, the plan had worked. Now, Mekboy Laru had to load a frag missile with krak power.
"Black hole? 1 billion years from da prezent?" said Lotzaboltz.
"Yeh'd better believe it," said Slime. "We're in front of a red supagiant. Any way to get us back?"
"Here goes," said Lotzaboltz. "It's kind of like a reverse vacuum. You know how the thrusters suck in everything for fuel?"
"Yeah," said Mekboy Laru, who had just walked into the bridge.
"Well, you need to reverse dat effect. Then aim da rear thrusters towards the supagiant, and take navigational controls offline. So that way, you'll sit still while the thrusters blow da supagiant's layers off. Then, all that will remain is the core. Next, load a frag missile with krak power and fire it at the core. You should then have a black hole. Go into it, and once you emerge in the present at the other end, fire a supa-rokkit into it. The hole should collapse. And then come to Razzagash for a party. Does any of this make sense?" Lotzaboltz said.
Mekboy Laru nodded.
"We'll be watching you from Razzagash. If this doesn't work, we'll engineer something," said Lotzaboltz. He went offscreen and the words 'COM LINK IDLE' blared on the viewscreen.
"You know what ta do," said Grukk to Mekboy Laru.
"Yes, boss," said Mekboy Laru.
Names of characters:
Slimefart Gitsmaka
Kaptin Badrukk
Grukk Face Rippa
Mad Dok Grotsnik
Space Hulk Krew
Big mek Lotzaboltz
Mekboy Laru
Story
Slimefart Gitsmaka was reading a book (How ta organize yer Waaagh!) when the space hulk rocked and red alert went off. He rushed to the bridge.
"What have we struck?" he asked?
"A black hole, Boss," said Badrukk.
Consoles exploded, taking 25% of the bridge krew off their feet. Grukk Face-Rippa, who had just gotten onto the bridge (his squig trailing behind him), hit the com panel.
"Dok Grotsnik?! Are ya there?!" yelled Grukk.
"I'm rather busy at the moment, what do you need?" said Grotsnik.
"25% of the bridge krew is off their feet. We need help!" yelled Grukk.
I'm sending some painboyz. They should be there soon," said Grotsnik. He went off the com.
And then, the biggest whumph yet struck the space hulk.
A minute later, 5 painboyz showed up (amid exploding consoles).
"We're about ta reach da event horizon!!" yelled Hellpit.
Seeing there was nothing they could do to get past it, Slime hit the com panel: "All handz, brace fer impact!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And they crossed the event horizon.
The space hulk tumbled through the black hole. Consoles exploded. Microfractures and breaches formed along the hull. Reverse thrust had no effect on the hole. Inside the space hulk, things and orks were thrown around.
Then, everything stopped moving.
Unconcious orks woke up. Red alert shut down. Amazingly, everyone survived.
The viewscreen had a bright, red supergiant on it. The light filled the bridge.
Meanwhile, in Grotsnik's office, his painboyz began to put everything back in order. Grotsnik, however, called the bridge.
"Grotsnik to Bridge. Is anyone alive up dere?"
Badrukk hit the com panel. "Kaptin Badrukk here."
"What in the name of Gork happened?" asked Grotsnik.
"We hit a black hole. Komputa estimates we've been thrown back in time 1 billion years.
Okay. I'll call you later." said Grotsnik. He went off the com.
"Try to contact the Mek's workshop on Razzagash," said Grukk.
A few minutes later, Big mek Lotzaboltz came onscreen.
"Evening, Badrukk. We can't seem to find where your com signal iz originating," said Big Mek Lotzaboltz.
"That's because we just crossed a black hole. Komputa estimates that we've been thrown back in time 1 billion years," said Badrukk
That's all for now. Will be updated. Suggestions appreciated.
I don't quite get why the Emperor's servants would kill themselves after they killed the Emperor. And what's more, the Emperor can't talk.
But otherwise, good story.
Slimefart Gitsmaka sat on the cast-off Battlewagon tire pondering his next step. His boyz had fought admirably (though Slime didn't know the meaning of the word) versus Calgar's Ultramarines, but Slimefart knew dos 'umies were triksy donkey-caves. The war was not done. He knew de 'umies were up ta sumptin' and he had ta figure it out. His ammo runt noticed the smoke pouring from his ears and temerously intervened.
"Hey Boss," the Grot said. "Ya OK?"
Slime considered firing off his combo weapon in the general direction of the runt, but decided to save his ammo. "I'm ciphering, runt! Don't disturb me!"
"Have Kaptin Badrukk come here! NOW!" The Ork Warboss bellowed, his voice echoing across the camp.
Within minutes, the Flash Git Kaptin reached Slimefart. Out of breath, he gasped, "Yes Boss Fart?"
"I gots a cunnin' plan. Me an my boyz are gonna hit da Ultra's right up da middle. Right in da mouth!" In his excitement, Slimefart Gitsmaka showed how he got his name, producing a tremdous fart that, though a special port in his armor, left a puddle of viscous slime on the ground. "I'ma gonna send da buzzkoptas and rokkit boyz in the front to soften the 'ummies up an' scare 'em a bit. Da boyz an' 'ard boyz will be right behind dem. Goldtoof Stickyfingers is gonna take his Lootas to da left flank an' put pressure on that side o' da line. Da'll push toward da centa an my boyz and 'ard boys will 'it 'em hard in da center. Da boyz, da 'ard boyz, da bikes an' buggies, we all go right up da middle. Killin' da Ultras left an' right."
"Whot's this gotta do with me an' my boyz?"
"Yer boyz have da key job. You're gonna come in on da right flank behind da lines an' bust up doze Ultras. Be careful what you shot, da Kommandos will be comin' in from da other direction."
"An what do we get fer dis service?"
"All da teef ya can collect. Bring yer pliers!"
"We claim all da teef on da battlefield"
"If ya do yer job, you'll have all da teef you want."
Do you like it? It's not the whole story, but the middle.