Elaine Hendrix & Lisa Ann Walter: Why We're Each Other's Soulmates

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6 hours ago

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00:00She's my emergency contact on like all my medical stuff. Yeah. Sisters. Soulmates.

00:07Marriage without the romance. So marriage. A friend will help you move. A best friend

00:12will help you move. A body. Yeah, exactly.

00:30One of the things that is really gratifying about our long-term relationship is that people

00:45responding to it and telling us personally because they saw it every week on dancing and

00:51because they're paying attention to it are saying how meaningful it is to them because

00:55this is not new. We didn't invent grown-ass female friendship like it is necessary and then all of

01:03a sudden you're starting to see articles where people are saying I need my girlfriends like I

01:09may have my family I may have my husband or my boyfriend whatever but I would die without my

01:13girlfriends and I think it's you're seeing it in in projects in Dying for Sex it was like a main

01:20theme so we're not we're not the you know inventor of this but we live it every day and have for a long

01:31time. We met in the waiting room while we were testing for for the parent trap and so that was

01:36probably like April or May-ish of 1997 and then when we started filming in like June July that's when

01:45we really started hanging out. Well day one yeah went to Marie Callender's which was is a restaurant

01:52that doesn't exist anymore but it was a restaurant but everybody knows Marie Callender they're for

01:57they still have their frozen food across the country though I don't know maybe I had no idea I know that

02:03um I I had just quit drinking so I ate an entire pie and I say she ate a salad she's telling me she did not

02:11because I'm a girl who likes food she not she doesn't starve herself that's absolutely true

02:18we probably would not be great friends if she did yeah I can't I can't hang with that not because I

02:24have a judgment about it but because I feel judged I can't have half a pie hanging on my face and you're

02:30like I can't I'm I'm full I can't I can't do it but we talked for we we started talking at dinner

02:37we continued it I was like you want to come and hang with me she came to my room I think at the hotel

02:44well you had the kids with you not yet we didn't get there yet till the next week oh I just remember

02:50like being in the pool with them and no the first night we continued the conversation probably went on

02:56for six hours yeah yeah I think of two things I mean first of all the breakup of my second

03:01relationship um first one was not so bad we were together as kids we you know I was right out of

03:08college when I got pregnant with my first son we stayed um we've stayed friends um we broke up because

03:16he uh came out as bi to me and it was I didn't I didn't feel comfortable keeping him from that life

03:23and monogamy was important to me so we we stayed friends it wasn't bad the second one was really

03:29yeah everybody is everybody that knows me is he's like another one of a life partner that I'll be

03:37with forever we just won't be married um but the second one was really difficult really hard on me and

03:43it's soul crushing ego crushing I'm I'm nothing you know he was he was really hard on me and very

03:53um and it was you know infidelity and everything and I felt awful the way people are when I want a

03:59divorce wrecks them and um and there's issues with custody and it was ongoing for years and

04:06Elaine was incredibly helpful in shoring me up throughout that entire process and making me feel

04:14not like crap and um that was one and the other one was the in a few of the years I was fine actually

04:23for about 10 years after that I was working all the time I was at the height of I think my power I

04:30looked great I was booking jobs and movies and tv multiple shows every season when we used to have

04:37a pilot season and things started to get a little tighter a little tougher I got a little older and they

04:42don't write those roles for women as much and I was I was really down I was quitting the business every

04:50third month you were to to a lesser extent but that's when we came up with the rule that we

04:56couldn't both quit the business at the same time and you know we're both pretty strong we're we're

05:00tough broads we both have been on our own we've we've worked to support ourselves neither one of us came

05:07from money you know we had very smart parents that you know got got us you may make sure we knew the

05:13importance of education and loved us very much but we didn't have the wherewithal or any contacts in the

05:19business we both came from zero to where we are now and we don't ask for a lot of help I think

05:27that's something we have in common we don't reach out and say I need what we do with each other there

05:35were years when she first moved to New York and then Atlanta I would get slew of because look if she

05:42looks her picture out there she's gonna get a response look at her she's gonna get dozens and

05:48dozens of responses same like it's the same so when we were in the same town we could city okay

05:55we'd sit down plop down or we'd be like laying in bed or whatever okay what about this one yeah no

05:59swipe right oh okay and this one we'd like explain the apps and we are always she's better about it but

06:06I instantly like ready to talk myself out of virtually every single man passing through

06:12and I'm about 50 percent of that I'm like yeah he's married yeah this one is he's hiding something

06:19so we would decipher all the code that was in the creepy like what was in their bios and stuff yeah

06:25and so then finally though we just gave that up because apps are like

06:29yes you just grin and bear it and wait for it to be over apparently all of the people that I've dated

06:38no yeah pretty much come on it's not that I didn't like them one of them I liked I just didn't think

06:47two of them I liked I just didn't think was right for you which one the young one the young one and

06:52then oh yeah Thurston Howell oh that's what oh that's Thurston Howell I don't remember calling him

06:58that I did okay but so wait so my whole long thing about this is that about dating is that unless it's

07:07going to happen like the old-fashioned way like a meet cute somewhere you smell them yeah it's not

07:12going to happen because no one can no one has anyone to introduce you to and I'm not doing apps so

07:19then like what else is there she even spent five minutes with a matchmaker like this matchmaker

07:24sold themselves to you like okay I'm gonna really oh no that no I went to a I went to a dating coach

07:31she was awesome and I I had several dates did you yeah do you remember I remember you filled out a

07:38whole dig no I did go to a match no that was the matchmaker yeah and matchmakers also yeah no

07:45because what they're getting paid by the guy yeah so picture the guy that's paying money to a matchmaker

07:51any man that can't find a chick in LA so that's the those are the guys she's setting her up with and

08:00I was like these aren't gonna work and then you know you think about like well then could I date

08:05women and it's like well they don't have muscles and they are penis I said that one time to a lesbian

08:12friend of mine I said I really I would love to I would love to date a woman but I really I really

08:19like you know penis and she said I got a box of them under my bed for that I was like good point

08:25I'll say this I I know what the reality is and it is very real ageism sexism racism it's very real

08:38and I feel incredibly fortunate that we are at the stages of our lives that we are and we are still

08:49in the game working thriving I do not take that for granted not for one second because that's you

08:59can't plan it's not something that you can plan for it's something that you hope for it's something

09:03that you work your ass off for but you can't plan for it and so the fact that we're here we're doing

09:10this and at the level that we are let's go let's keep it going because for me especially and for both

09:18of us but I'll speak for myself like doing Dancing with the Stars it was so important because yes I

09:23was doing it for myself I'm gonna cry I was doing it for myself but I was also doing it for everyone

09:30else to go hey it's not too late please don't let a number stand in your way it's so important because

09:38the moment that we believe you believe that for yourself you can you can make it happen say it with

09:45me I'm 54 and I just did that it was so what she said that I screamed in the audience and Carrie Ann

09:55screamed and stood up because we we all experience it I'm the fact that I'm on a TV show a network TV

10:03show where they didn't convince Quinta Brunson to have you have Cheryl yeah the other one be 35

10:11they can still be friends mm-hmm I want it reflected the way it would be in life and that's the only

10:18reason I'm there is because she said no we can have two women that we'd have two grown-ass women in

10:24this show that's the way it would be in life well that's the only secret the only secret is you don't

10:29quit right you don't give up

Elaine Hendrix & Lisa Ann Walter: Why We're Each Other's Soulmates

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