Issue 49: Ranking my chickens
What city folks think we do in Upstate New York
Genevieve recently embraced her city-to-upstate transition with everyone’s favorite “newcomer” joke - owning chickens. Live vicariously through her with this banger of a chicken list.
1. Evie Julio - “Easter Egger” - egg color: green
My daughter named her by speaking the first two names to come to her mind. Evie is one of the few who still allows said small child to pick her up and carry her around (+100 points). She causes little-to-no problems and the other chickens seem to vibe with her. She’s the youngest hen in the flock and, despite recently developing the inexplicable habit of growling like a zombie, she cinched the #1 spot when she recently began laying the most beautiful olive green eggs.
2. The Three Reds - Red Sex Link - egg color: dark brown
These three unfortunately have not been individually named, so like the Greek Fates, they operate as one singular unit. They were brought into the flock at a year old to assuage my impatience for eggs and to teach the younger hens to lay sooner. For the most part, they allow my daughter to pick them up when they need to be herded, and though the smallest of them came down with a nasty virus about a month into living with us, she survived and is back in action. They lay eggs almost daily, which is terrible for their long-term health, so they also get 2nd place with a tinge of pity.
3, 4. Suzy & Sally Silverlace - Silverlaced Wyandotte - egg color: light brown/pink eggs
Suzy and Sally are unassuming and do not freak out when I enter the gated run. They have beautiful black, white and silver feathers. They both just started laying small pinkish eggs once every few days. They don’t really make any sounds, pretty much always go into the coop at night before the automatic door closes, and mind their own business. They do have a habit of flying far outside their fenced area the second I give them a taste of freedom (-20 points), so they teeter in the middle here.
5. Looney Toonie - Rhode Island Red - egg color: light brown
Looney Toonie is so-named for the Rhode Island Red from the eponymous cartoon series. She and Zebra (we are not working hard on these chicken names, you guys) are older hens and brand new to our flock. They both smell terrible and are airing out in a quarantine coop, but one night I mistook her for one of the Greek Fates and switched her into the main coop for the night. Nobody made a peep about it. Sounds like she’s a chill hang if the normally bonkers chickens didn’t care that she had replaced their sister for the night. However, she ranks lower on the list simply for her terrible smell. Sorry, girl.
6. Zebra - Barred Rock - egg color: light brown
Zebra has pretty stripes but zero personality and has yet to really prove her value to the flock. Sure, she lays a large, light brown egg once every couple days, but who is she really? She stinks like Looney Toonie, so she needs to start showing some personality ASAP if she wants any chance of rising through the ranks.
7. Blanca - Easter Egger - egg color: light blue
Blanca has a massive neck like a linebacker and always gets locked out of the coop at bed time. She flies outside the fenced area with the Silverlace hens, and one time she led a full-flock escape through some thick brambly woods all the way to my neighbor’s house and under their trampoline. I couldn’t find them for AGES and thought they had been beamed up by aliens. Her eggs are pretty so she gets like +5 points but she cannot be trusted.
8. Goldie Hen - Easter Egger - egg color: light blue
When anyone enters the run, especially at night when one or more hens have been locked out by the automatic door, Goldie Hen turns into a psychotic ninja. She defies gravity by zipping across the enclosure at violent speeds with no apparent endgame in mind. She’s nuts. I just want to get you into your bed, you maniac. Yes, okay, her eggs are cool colors. But she’s so far out of favor with the human members of this family that it’s gonna take a lot of pretty eggs to dig herself out.
9. Reginald the Rooster - Ayam Cemani - egg color: NO EGGS >:(
Reginald. Sucks. He came to us as a “straight run” chick, meaning there’s a chance it could be a boy or a girl. He is a boy. As a growing chick, he was so sweet. He would let me carry him around in my open palm and caress his head and wings like a little baby. Now, he’s a massive jerk – to us humans, to the hens especially, to God himself. He’s loud and shrill, and is annoying our neighbors. Reginald has beautiful iridescent feathers that I will gladly pluck out of him the day he decides to turn his ire toward my child. He’s only alive today because his single brain cell has correctly guided him to not hurt my offspring. Anyone want a free rooster? ✌️🐔
One For Us
Sharing what we’re enjoying for ourselves these days
[Ashley] - To be honest, I haven’t done much for myself these days between searching for a new office, fall illness, work, and general hiccups in all aspects of life. Just baseline “trying to keep my shit together” is where I’m at right now. In an effort to do that, I’m trying to start a small meditation practice. I’ve subscribed to Columbia County’s own (and personal friend) meditation teacher Adreanna Limbach and her husband Lodro Rinzler’s Substack The Laundry. From the perspective of parents of a young child, the newsletter centers around “grappling with the present moment as Buddhist practitioners, partners, parents…and people.” Sign me up.
[Genevieve] - The Everlane Chino in Buttersoft is currently on sale and if your size is available, you may want to snag a pair or two. I snagged these in black, and the first day I wore them, I received multiple compliments. They are super soft and comfy like sweatpants but have that intentional-casual look that can go with a button down or a T shirt.
[Maddie] - I think about Mary Roach’s approachably scientific books all the time. An Elvis song comes on the radio? The chapter unpacking his death in Gulp comes to mind. Astronauts stuck in space for months? Well that’s Packing for Mars. The old Eye Bank ads with Jerry Orbach? Stiff. What a joy to learn that her latest, Replaceable You, is just as funny and relevant as the rest.
One For Them
Sharing what’s making parenting small children more enjoyable these days
[Ashley] - Do we all know I’m a recovering bunhead by now? Over the weekend, my daughter had a stomach bug - which in my house means movie marathon on the couch. She became obsessed with New York City Ballet’s The Nutcracker featuring Macaulay Culkin as the Nutcracker Prince (don’t ask me how we got there). This led me down the road of searching for live kid-friendly ballet performances. New York City Ballet does Family Saturdays with a short, hour-long performance and a chat with the host, principal dancer Megan Fairchild. They sell out fast, but I plan to mark their 2026 release date on my calendar and make it a “city day” with my daughter.
[Genevieve] - After 20 years off the air, Reading Rainbow is back. The new iteration is being hosted on YouTube by Mychal the Librarian, a familiar face if you’ve caught a few of the newer episodes of Ms. Rachel. Honestly, with this level of nostalgia, this one is for me too.
[Maddie] - After trying every ointment on my sensitive skin gal, we’ve finally found a treatment for her diaper rash that works. We pat her dry with these cotton wipes after each change, and we make sure to stay diligent about giving her the Vitamin D drops that we’ve supplemented with since she was born. There’s growing evidence to suggest Vitamin D supplementation helps with managing Candida (a cause of fungal diaper rash), and anecdotally, we do see less redness when we give them to her daily. Thanks a lot to the pediatrician who told me the only cure for diaper rash is potty training. 🙄
In the Neighborhood
We live in the Mid-Hudson Valley and we’re keeping tabs on these (mostly family-friendly) events near us. If there’s another event you’d like us to share, please send it our way!
October & November Events
Starting Thursday, October 2 - Prenatal Yoga at At Play, Rhinebeck
Friday, October 3 - Grown-Up Book Fair with Oblong Books at Rose Hill Farm, Red Hook
Friday, October 3 - First Friday, Catskill
Friday, October 3 - Sunday, October 5 - Hudson Jazz Festival, Hudson
Saturday, October 4 - OctoberFeast 2025, Chatham
Saturday, October 4 - Stockade Faire, Kingston
Saturday, October 4 - Children’s Shows at the John R. Kirk Planetarium🪐, New Paltz
Saturday, October 4 - Sunday, October 5 - Homelands Pow Wow, New Lebanon
Sunday, October 5 - Toddler Time at Athens Cultural Center, Athens
Sunday, October 5 - Germantown Library 5k, Germantown
Monday, October 6 - Cooking Up Community at Hudson Area Library, Hudson
Starting October 7 - Afterschool Nature Club with HV Adventure Club, Livingston *
Starting October 7 - Baby Nature Class series with HV Adventure Club, Livingston *
Wednesday, October 8 - Moms Club (monthly) at Return Brewing, Hudson
Wednesday, October 8 - Darning at The Fix-It Picnic, Hudson
Saturday, October 11 - Sky High Biennial Closing Event, Germantown
Saturday, October 11 - Hawthorne Valley Harvest Festival, Ghent
Saturday, October 11 - MINNA closing sale at Suarez Brewery, Hudson
Saturday, October 11 - Erin Claire Jones in conversation with Becca Piastrelli at Kinderhook Memorial Library, Kinderhook
Sunday, October 12 - Oakdale Community Cookout, Hudson
Sunday, October 12 - Motherswell Circle, Kingston
Sunday, October 12 - Drawing class w/ Cone Zero at The Spark of Hudson, Hudson ^
Wednesday, October 15 - Whalesback Improv Theatre: Intro to Improv, Livingston ^
Wednesday, October 15 - Reclaiming Your Space After Divorce at The Spark of Hudson, Hudson ^
Friday, October 17 - Film screening and artist talk with Corinne May Botz, Hudson
Friday, October 17 - Sunday October 19 - Catskill Comedy Festival, Catskill
Saturday, October 18 - Family Group Hike with HV Adventure Club, Elka Point
Saturday, October 18 - Haunted House Dioramas at Hudson Hall, Hudson
Saturday, October 18 - Children’s Shows at the John R. Kirk Planetarium🪐, New Paltz
Saturday, October 18 - Sunday, October 19 - NY State Sheep And Wool Festival, Rhinebeck
Sunday, October 19 - Community Birth Class at The Spark of Hudson, Hudson
Sunday, October 19 - Range of Motion Run Club with Pinkerton’s, Kingston
Sunday, October 26 - Ghostly Gallop 5k, Hudson
Sunday, October 26 - Hudson Halloween Parade, Hudson
Sunday, October 26 - Howl & Holler at Trevor-Lovejoy Zoo, Millbrook
Saturday, November 1 - Women for Girls fundraiser at Isola, Kinderhook🍷 ^
Saturday, November 1 - Children’s Shows at the John R. Kirk Planetarium🪐, New Paltz
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Ongoing Events
Mondays - Wiggles and Words (for 0-6 months) at the Red Hook Library, Red Hook
Mondays - Songs & Stories at Ulster Public Library, Ulster
Mondays - Family Resource Center Playgroup, Valatie
Mondays - Tunes and Tales at the Red Hook Library, Red Hook
Tuesdays - Storytime with Robbie at Starr Library, Rhinebeck
Tuesdays - Family Resource Center Playgroup, Hudson
Tuesdays - Baby Dance Class at Lukas Dance Studio, Port Ewen
Wednesdays - Runs with Return Run Club, Hudson
Wednesdays - Catskills Nature Explorers, Arkville
Wednesdays - Kuumba Kids at Hudson Hall, Hudson
Wednesdays - Family Resource Center Playgroup, Valatie
Wednesdays - Dancing Connections and Baby Dance Club at Full Circle, Gardiner
Wednesdays - Common Hands Farm Market at The Spark of Hudson, Hudson
Wednesdays in September - Baby & Me and Toddler & Me Yoga, Chatham
Thursdays - Music & Movement Storytime at the Hudson Area Library, Hudson
Thursdays - Haema pop-up at Return Brewing, Hudson
Thursdays - Family Resource Center Playgroup, Hudson
Fridays in September - Outdoor Story Time at Seed Song Farm, Kingston
Fridays - Tunes and Tales at the Red Hook Library, Red Hook
Saturdays - Hudson Farmers’ Market, Hudson
Saturdays - Maverick Family Saturday concerts, Woodstock
Saturdays - Outdoor Yoga (with llamas) at Clover Brooke Farm, Hyde Park
Sundays - Rhinebeck Farmers’ Market, Rhinebeck
Sundays - Farm-to-Table Family Buffet at Random Harvest, Craryville
Sundays - Community Group Run at Neighbor Running, Hudson
Sundays - Jr. Sports League, Kingston
Weekends in October - Catskill Mountain Railroad Fall Foliage Train Tour, Kingston
^ = for adults
* = will likely sell out, so book soon
Ashley! Let me whole-heartedly also recommend (and maybe I have before HMMMM) Peter and the Wolf in December at the Guggenheim, narrated by The One and Only Isaac Mizrahi, with a live orchestra, clocking in at HALF AN HOUR. You could go every year until she's, like, eight, and see something new each time.