Let’s be real—the holiday season can feel like a wild mashup of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa celebrations all rolled into one big, glittery snowball. Whether you’re baking cookies for Christmas, lighting the menorah for Hanukkah, or honoring traditions during Kwanzaa, sometimes the holiday humdrums sneak in. So how do you defeat them? My secret weapon: bad movie marathons.
Forget those classic Christmas movies (okay, maybe keep *Home Alone* on standby). Instead, queue up some B movies and let The Three Stooges bring the slapstick cheer. There’s something magical about watching “so-bad-they’re-good” holiday flicks with friends or family while munching on leftover gingerbread or latkes.
And when New Year’s Eve rolls around—whether you’re out celebrating or cozied up at home—it’s the perfect time to reflect on your favorite bad holiday movies from the past month. Make it a tradition! On New Year’s Day, jot down some new year’s resolutions (like finally making it through that entire “worst holiday films” list).
So this season—no matter what you celebrate—embrace a little chaos and laughter. Happy Hanuchristmakwanzaa to all!
‘Tis been a long time since I’ve seen one of THESE kinds of emails:
ARE YOU DEAD OR ALIVE I’m a special Diplomatic Mr. William Rogers from BMW company 2001 MacCorkle Ave, St Albans, WV 25177, United States! I have been trying to reach you on your Email about an hours now to inform you on your BMW i7 car and a consignment box worth 12,500,000.00 (Twelve million and five hundred thousand United States dollars) in your name which was instructed by the International Monetary Fund (IMF) Washington DC to be delivered to you. please you are to reconfirm your delivery Info to me, to avoid delivery to the wrong person such as,
Your full name… Your current home address… Phone number…. Nearest airport.. Photo of ID..
BEST REGARDS Mr. William Rogers Special diplomatic agent
So, who is this “Mr. William Rogers, Special Diplomatic Agent,” aside from someone whose fifteenth language appears to be Spamglish? I’ll admit, when I saw the magical words “St. Albans,” we all know where my mind went…
…but alas, it’s St. Albans, West Virginia, which I didn’t even know existed. But since we live in the age of Rod Argent’s internet, let me check if it’s actually a town.
(Off to Duck Duck Go…)
Welp, it IS an actual location, just not the one you’d think…pretty sure “Mr. William Rogers” sated that this was a BMW, and what’s in the picture is damn sure not a BMW dealership.
Well, it IS an actual location, just not the one you’d think. I’m pretty sure “Mr. William Rogers” stated this was a BMW dealership, but what’s in the picture is definitely not a BMW dealership.
It’s a Ford Pre-Owned dealership. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against used cars—I would’ve bought one when my old car literally stopped on one of the busiest streets (complete with heavy traffic, St. Louis “drivers,” and did I mention it was over 100 degrees and the AC was out? Apparently, AC controls for a 2010 PT Cruiser were obsolete, so it couldn’t be fixed). The gods, or maybe satanists, were on my side that day because I stopped right in front of a police car! Considering this was just blocks from where the whole Michael Brown incident happened—look it up (#Ferguson)—I was hoping I wouldn’t get a beatdown for making the officer get out of an air-conditioned car to help me with my hoopty, but he did.
Anyway, back to the new car versus used car topic—I was looking at used cars that had more miles than the car I was (sort of) driving! Why should I pay new car prices for a vehicle with even more miles than the 190,000 on the Cruiser? To quote the late, great Rudy Ray Moore (aka Dolemite):
I spent so much money on Ubers and rental cars.”But Stooge, why wouldn’t you have your insurance pay for it?” The car was worth literally $500. I kept putting it off because I didn’t feel like dealing with people, buteventually I had no choice but to deal with them. There was really only one car I wanted—well, two—but the Chevy Spark was being discontinued, and there was no way I was buying a brand–new discontinued car. So I went with my first choice (ever since I saw those commercials in high school): a Hyundai Accent. The $7,999 (or whatever) price from back then was long gone, but it was still the cheapest car I could afford, so I was kind of like this guy…
To make a long story even longer (and possibly even MORE boring, it pissed me off that “William Rogers” has probably scammed at least one person with his terribly constructed scam. If there’s at least one person than can learn something from this long-winded rant about Nigerian scammers, used cars, inflation, and wishing that the Yugo hadn’t been the world’s crappiest car (along with the Pinto and Pacer).
Remember folks, if it sounds too good to be true, there’s probably a poorly constructed email from Nigeria, Poland, or Romania behind it. As Tom Cat would tell you, “DON’T YOU BELIEVE IT!”
Welp, if you were I, you wouldn’t be a twinkle in your parents’ eyes yet. (Oh, did I say “twinkle?” I meant “pink eye that will never be cured.”)
However, since you’re a nerd like I, you know exactly what day today is…it was the day a certain show about space ended with William Shatner camping it up like…well, William Shatner (or John Carradine in Billy the Kid vs. Dracula or Bigfoot.) No, I’m definitely not insulting these fine actors–to each and every actor, there’s gotta be a little ham. To bring this ’round to the Three Stooges, what would’ve been their last film, 1975’s The Jet Set would’ve been so campy Cabela’s wouldn’t have stock for YEARS!
Anyhoo…it’s hard to believe that it’s been FIFTY-SIX YEARS since Star Trek was cancelled. Think about what was happening at that time–man would be landing on the moon THE VERY NEXT MONTH! AND THE THREE STOOGES WERE STILL TOURING! NO. LIE!
May 4, 1969 (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)
So in conclusion, I made an article about the last episode of Star Trek ALL ABOUT THE THREE STOOGES BECAUSE I CAN!
(And I am soooo lazy that I decided to do some recycling. It’s good for the environment and whatnot…)
…The Three Stooges were (temporarily) no more. With Larry Fine felled by a major stroke, it looked like Howard, Fine, and DeRita were no longer “Everybody’s Favorites.” (The photo below is one of their last personal appearances in St. Louis, May 13-18, 1969.)
Seriously, though…the 1970s was such a “wonderful” time for fashion, music and food (only one of those things is true…and it doesn’t begin with an “F.”)
I’ve often mentioned I wish I could remember MORE of that wonderful decade, but what I DO remember is often brown, beige, orange, or avocado green…
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