It Occurred To Me

~~Thanks, Cathy

This year’s entering college class of 2015 was born just as the Internet took everyone onto the information highway and as Amazon began its relentless flow of books and everything else into their lives. Members of this year’s freshman class, most of them born in 1993, are the first generation to grow up taking the word “online” for granted and for whom crossing the digital divide has redefined research, original sources and access to information, changing the central experiences and methods in their lives. They have come of age as women assumed command of U.S. Navy ships, altar girls served routinely at Catholic Mass, and when everything from parents analyzing childhood maladies to their breaking up with boyfriends and girlfriends, sometimes quite publicly, have been accomplished on the Internet.

Each August since 1998, Beloit College has released the Beloit College Mindset List, providing a look at the cultural touchstones that shape the lives of students entering college this fall. The creation of Beloit’s former Public Affairs Director Ron Nief and Keefer Professor of the Humanities Tom McBride, it was originally created as a reminder to faculty to be aware of dated references, and quickly became a catalog of the rapidly changing worldview of each new generation. Mindset List websites at Beloit College and at mindsetmoment.com, the media site webcast and their Facebook page receive more than a million hits annually.

Nief and McBride recently applied their popular format to 10 generations of Americans over 150 years in their new book, The Mindset Lists of American History: From Typewriters to Text Messages, What Ten Generations of Americans Think Is Normal (Wiley and Sons.).

As for the class of 2015, without any memory whatever of George Herbert Walker Bush as president, they came into existence as Bill Clinton came into the presidency. Their parents, frequently older than one might expect because women have always been able to get pregnant almost regardless of age, have hovered over them with extra care and have agreed with those states that mandated the wearing of bike helmets. Ferris Bueller could be their overly cautious dad, and Jimmy Carter is an elderly smiling public man who appears occasionally on television doing good works. “Dial-up,” Woolworths and the Sears “Big Book” are as antique to them as “talking machines” might have been to their grandparents. Meanwhile, as they’ve wondered why O.J. Simpson has always been suspected of something, they have all “been there, done that, gotten the Tshirt,” shortened boring conversations with “yadda, yadda, yadda,” and recognized LBJ as LeBron James.

For those who cannot comprehend that it has been 18 years since this year’s class was born, they will quickly confirm that the next four years will go even faster and, like the rest of us, they will continue to grow older at increasing speed.

The Mindset List for the Class of 2015

Andre the Giant, River Phoenix, Frank Zappa, Arthur Ashe and the Commodore 64 have always been dead.

Their classmates could include Taylor Momsen, Angus Jones, Howard Stern's daughter Ashley, and the Dilley Sextuplets.

There has always been an Internet ramp onto the information highway.
Ferris Bueller and Sloane Peterson could be their parents.
States and Velcro parents have always been requiring that they wear their bike helmets.
The only significant labor disputes in their lifetimes have been in major league sports.
There have always been at least two women on the Supreme Court, and women have always commanded U.S. Navy ships.
They “swipe” cards, not merchandise.
As they’ve grown up on websites and cell phones, adult experts have constantly fretted about their alleged deficits of empathy and concentration.
Their school’s “blackboards” have always been getting smarter.
“Don’t touch that dial!”….what dial?
American tax forms have always been available in Spanish.
More Americans have always traveled to Latin America than to Europe.
Amazon has never been just a river in South America.
Refer to LBJ, and they might assume you're talking about LeBron James.
All their lives, Whitney Houston has always been declaring “I Will Always Love You.”
O.J. Simpson has always been looking for the killers of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman.
Women have never been too old to have children.
Japan has always been importing rice.
Jim Carrey has always been bigger than a pet detective.
We have never asked, and they have never had to tell.
Life has always been like a box of chocolates.
They’ve always gone to school with Mohammed and Jesus.
John Wayne Bobbitt has always slept with one eye open.
There has never been an official Communist Party in Russia.
“Yadda, yadda, yadda” has always come in handy to make long stories short.
Video games have always had ratings.
Chicken soup has always been soul food.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show has always been available on TV.
Jimmy Carter has always been a smiling elderly man who shows up on TV to promote fair elections and disaster relief.
Arnold Palmer has always been a drink.
Dial-up is soooooooooo last century!
Women have always been kissing women on television.
Their older siblings have told them about the days when Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera were Mouseketeers.
Faux Christmas trees have always outsold real ones.
They’ve always been able to dismiss boring old ideas with “been there, done that, gotten the T-shirt.”
The bloody conflict between the government and a religious cult has always made Waco sound a little whacko.
Unlike their older siblings, they spent bedtime on their backs until they learned to roll over.
Music has always been available via free downloads.
Grown-ups have always been arguing about health care policy.
Moderate amounts of red wine and baby aspirin have always been thought good for the heart.
Sears has never sold anything out of a Big Book that could also serve as a doorstop.
The United States has always been shedding fur.
Electric cars have always been humming in relative silence on the road.
No longer known for just gambling and quickie divorces, Nevada has always been one of the fastest growing states in the Union.
They’re the first generation to grow up hearing about the dangerous overuse of antibiotics.
They pressured their parents to take them to Taco Bell or Burger King to get free pogs.
Russian courts have always had juries.
No state has ever failed to observe Martin Luther King Day.
While they’ve been playing outside, their parents have always worried about nasty new bugs borne by birds and mosquitoes.
Public schools have always made space available for advertising.
Some of them have been inspired to actually cook by watching the Food Channel.
Fidel Castro’s daughter and granddaughter have always lived in the United States.
Their parents have always been able to create a will and other legal documents online.
Charter schools have always been an alternative.
They’ve grown up with George Stephanopoulos as the Dick Clark of political analysts.
New kids have always been known as NKOTB.
They’ve always wanted to be like Shaq or Kobe: Michael Who?
They’ve often broken up with their significant others via texting, Facebook, or MySpace.
Their parents sort of remember Woolworths as this store that used to be downtown.
Kim Jong-il has always been bluffing, but the West has always had to take him seriously.
Frasier, Sam, Woody and Rebecca have never Cheerfully frequented a bar in Boston during primetime.
Major League Baseball has never had fewer than three divisions and never lacked a wild card entry in the playoffs.
Nurses have always been in short supply.
They won’t go near a retailer that lacks a website.
Altar girls have never been a big deal.
When they were 3, their parents may have battled other parents in toy stores to buy them a Tickle Me Elmo while they lasted.
It seems the United States has always been looking for an acceptable means of capital execution.
Folks in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City have always been able to energize with Pepsi Cola.
Andy Warhol is a museum in Pittsburgh.
They’ve grown up hearing about suspiciously vanishing frogs.
They’ve always had the privilege of talking with a chatterbot.
Refugees and prisoners have always been housed by the U.S. government at Guantanamo.
Women have always been Venusians; men, Martians.
McDonalds coffee has always been just a little too hot to handle.
“PC” has come to mean Personal Computer, not Political Correctness.
The New York Times and the Boston Globe have never been rival newspapers.

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Warning... My Democrat friends will be offended by this. Only read it if you have an open mind and a sense of humor..........
When your "friends" cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list. They can then pick their reasons from the "TOP 12"... 

1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 43% isn't. 

2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. 

3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine, as long as nobody is offended by it. 

4. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. 

5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius. 

6. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted, so long as we keep all death row inmates alive. 

7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits. 

8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit. 

9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe groups who would never get their agendas past the voters. 

10. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher. 

11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE". 

12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

№ 2137

And HONESTLY, I've been working on the final chapter ... the conclusion of Butterfly Dreams ... it is 2/3 complete!

Why, I even worked the gumption to surf the web to grab a few jokes to be fodder for a post. This post!

~~~ So Much Fun ~~~
A suspicious husband hired a private eye to check on the movements of his wife. In addition to a written report, the husband wanted a video of his wife's activities.

A week later, the detective returned with a film. They sat down together and proceeded to watch it.

Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them strolling arm in arm and laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw them take part in a dozen activities with utter glee.

"I just can't believe this," said the distraught husband.

"What's not to believe?" the detective said. "It's right up there on the screen!"

"I simply can't believe my wife could be so much fun!" the husband replied.

~~~ Social Security ~~~
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later."

The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."


Encyclopaedia Britannica
Seen in my local paper's "readers sales" section.

FOR SALE BY OWNER

Complete set of encyclopaedia Britannica.
45 Volumes. Excellent condition.
£1000 pounds or best offer.

Reason for sale:- No longer required. Got married last weekend. Wife knows F**king everything.

~~~ Second Opinion ~~~
A man and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home.

She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the man.

"Getting a second opinion!"


"For Heaven's sake, Chris, why can't you talk to me once in a while?" Julie whined.

"What?" Chris replied.

"Look around!" Julie yelled, as she pointed around the room. "Look at all these books! You always have your head buried in a book! You don't even seem to know I'm alive!"

"I'm sorry, honey," Chris said.

"Sometimes I wish I were a book. Maybe then you'd at least look at me!" Julie exclaimed.

"Hmmmm," Chris mumbled, "that's not such a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."


A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomania Convention in Chicago".

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really, " he said, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent.

We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck."

Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba..


A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?"

She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner."

The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?"

She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner."

The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper."

Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub."

He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."


A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.

He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"

The other guy says, "Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister accident.

See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'....so she socked me a good one."

The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue-twister too.

I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my
wife, "Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.'

But I accidentally said, 'You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed bitch.'


A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six " in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts across the room at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of six?'"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."


Rosemary had been divorced for a few years and was finding life very lonely.

Finally, after much persuasion, she consented to go out on a date with Andy, a gentleman her daughter fixed her up with.

Andy picked her up and they went to a very secluded spot to have a picnic.

Andy had also been divorced for quite some time and found himself very attracted to Rosemary.

Despite her initial resistance to his advances, he finally suceeded in making love to her.

Rosemary was mortified at her lack of self-control and sobbed, "I don't know how I'm going to face my daughter, knowing that in a time of weakness, I sinned twice!"

"What do you mean, twice?" Andy asked. "We only did it once."

"Well, you're going to do it again, aren't you?" Rosemary asked.


"My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our

relationship. It's titled: 'Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.'"

№ 2136

It's not original. It was received in an e-mail from my sister-in-law. (Thanks, Beverly.) It is, however, good enough to break the ice and end the month-plus hiatus this blog has been experiencing.

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."

He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.


Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

№ 2135

№ 2134

(A sequel to The Strange Story of Mr. Black and Ms Gray.)

-(The Story begins HERE)-

Rosie's Revenge

To be continued

Dreams On Wings

Why Not Post Some Smoking Humor?
I had been a heavy smoker since I was a teenager, but to my surprise was able to quit "cold turkey." However, my weight shot up and I felt very self-conscious. When a friend congratulated me on giving up cigarettes, I exclaimed, "But look at all these added pounds!"

Her reply was one I'll always treasure. "Oh, my dear, don't worry about that!" she said. "Just think of all the extra years you will have in which to lose them."


A young couple had been married for a couple of weeks, and the man was always after his wife to quit smoking.

One afternoon, she lit up after some lovemaking, and he said, "You really ought to quit."

She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex."

He replied, "But they stunt your growth."

She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied that he never had.

Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's your excuse?"



Three little boys were sitting on a porch. One says, "My daddy smokes and he can blow smoke rings."
~~The second boy pipes up, "Well my daddy smokes too, and he can blow smoke out of his eyes."
~~The third one, not to be outdone, responds, "My dad can blow smoke out of his butt!"
~~"Really?" said his friends amazed. "Have you seen him do it?"
~~The boy shook his head and answered, "No, but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."

Sunday 6/5/11:

At the time of this posting, it has been 12 hours since my last cigarette !

Now, I realize that when it comes to kicking such an addictive and nasty habit, 12 hours is nothing in the scheme of things. (After all, I've been smoking since March of 1968 - that's 43 years and two months!)

I'd like to say that I'm undergoing this endeavor cold turkey ... but no, I've been sporting "The Patch" since 11 this morning. I smoked, hopefully, my last cigarette at 10:30 with my second cup of coffee.

Dousing that cigarette, I considered the two ashtrays, the one on the end table next to my recliner and the other next to the keyboard of my PC, and promptly removed them from my sight.

I anticipate that there will be some anguished moments - withdrawal symptoms - but so far there have been none. I've heard stories where others began to eat more frequently for the sake of having something to put into their mouths. (Thankfully, there is plenty of cutup cantaloupe and watermelon in the fridge!)

Not trusting my resolve or willpower, I DID leave one lone cigarette in the pack. I decided to test that resolve - I'm looking at that pack now - by leaving it within easy reach of the keyboard.

If that cigarette, so accessible, calls me and I am able to ignore it, then today's actions won't have been vain. If on the other hand I succumb to its beckoning, then I'll know just how hard it will be to continue.

I think the biggest test will present itself tomorrow at 11 AM. They say the first 24 hours are the most difficult. So far the first 12 have been pretty easy ...

Wish me luck!

These Editorial Cartoonists Can Say It Much better Than I

(The following editorial cartoons were taken from Caigle Cartoon Index)

(A sequel to The Strange Story of Mr. Black and Ms Gray.)

-(The Story begins HERE)-

The Enemy Within

To be continued ...

Rosie's Revenge

When I was a youngin' I used to walk into class at school every morning with a black eye. After a while my teacher got worried and asked me about it.

"Cletis, why do you come to school every day with a black eye? Are you getting into fights?"

I answered, "Our house is very small, miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep on the same bed. Every night my father asks, 'Cletis you sleeping?'

"When I said, "No" he slapped my face and gave me a black eye."

So the teacher says to me, "Tonight when your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer".

The following morning when I came to school my eye was fine, so the teacher breathed a sigh of relief.

But the day after that I came back with two black eyes.

Alarmed the teacher asked, "My goodness Cletis, why the black eye again?"

I told her, "Mam, Dad asked me again, 'Cletis are you sleeping?'...and I shut up and kept dead still. Then my father and my mother started moaning (you know) at the same time. Mom was breathing heavy, and kicking her legs up and squealing like a hyena on the bed.

Then my father asked my mother, 'Are you coming?' Then my mom said, 'Yes I'm coming, are you coming too?' My dad answered 'Yes'.

They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said, 'Wait for me...'"

Then they is the time that I looked into a mirror for the very firs' time. You see' it was like this, my uncle was always a-sayin' that my paw an' maw was jest about the ugliest couple in the hills. I guess my paw believed him and 'cause of that he said we could never have any mirrors in our house.

After living way back in the remote hills of West Virginia all my life, I decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores I picked up a mirror, and not knowing what it was I looked in it.

Not ever having seen one before, I was surprised at the image staring back at me. I said, "How about that! Here's a picture of my Paw."

So I done bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of the old man, but on the way home I remembered that my wife didn't like my father a'tall. So I hung it up in the barn so's she wouldn't see it.

Afterwards, every morning before I would wander there and look at it. Then I'd go in there in the afternoon and then again a-fore suppertime.

My wife began to get suspicious 'bout all my many trips to the barn. One day she followed me out to the barn and found me lookin' in the mirror.

She shoved me aside and when she looked into the mirror, she screamed, "So that's the ugly bitch you's been runnin' around with."

I 'spose I could put down a few lines about when I was a-datin' a-fore I got hitched. What book of mem-wires don't have stuff 'bout courtin' and a-sparkin'?

A while back, when I was considerably younger, I picked up this purty gal at her parents' house down the holler a bit from where I lived.

I really fancied her and wanted to impress her. I'd scraped together some money to take her to a nice fancy restaurant.

Hell's bells iffin she didn't up and order the most expensive items on the menu. She musta thought I was made of money cause she got some champagne, shrimp cocktail, and lobster.

I asked her, "Does your maw feed you like this when you eat at home?"

"No," she replied. "but my mother's not expecting me to get on my knees in front of her fly either."

What can I say? I asked her if she wanted dessert.

I remember the time that I learned that a feller can meet some gals by a-ridin' on a bus.

I was on a bus one day, when this purty young woman sat opposite me. Tarnation iffin she didn't start to breast feed her baby right there in the seat next to me!

"Come on, eat up, or I'll give it to that man over there," she says to the baby.

I don't have to tell you that sure got my 'tenshun.

Ten minutes later, she is still trying to feed the baby and says, "Come on, or mummy will give it to that man over there."

Well I looked over to the woman and says, "For heaven's sake missus, will you make your mind up. I should've got off this bus 3 stops ago!"

I think I would like fer my mem-wires to show that I'm really quite a romantic feller.

One night after a long days barbeque, I was a-sitting with my wife on the back porch. I was jest relaxin' wiffin' a cold Carlings in hand.

I felt that life didn't get no better than that and so I said, “I love you.”

My wife piped up, “Is that you, or the beer talking?”

I answered, “It’s me ... talking to the beer.”

(A sequel to The Strange Story of Mr. Black and Ms Gray.)

-(The Story begins HERE)-

An Immortal President

To be continued

The Enemy Within

I can't say much positive about the group or the music ...

But I LOVE the creative Rube Goldberg machinizations!



№ 2126

IMPORTANT NOTICE: All mini-marts, convenience stores, 7-11s, & many motels will be closed this week, due to a death in the family. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause !!!!!!!


The above image is a screen shot that I couldn't make clear. Anyway - it is Osama bin Laden's last Facebook entry:

"BRB. Someone's at the door."
And the "LIKE" was clicked by: the Navy Seals

Who Really Got bin Laden.

How Did They really Find Him?

Multiple Choice
(a) Jehova's Witnesses revealed location when he refused to buy a Bible

(b) Whereabouts reported when he wouldn't pay for Girl Scout cookies

(c) Reported by followers because he refused to bathe (U.S. fixed this.)

(d) Turned in by his landlord because he was arrears in his rent


Boeing Letter to Osama

№ 2125

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

*******************************************

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of Chardonnay."

(A sequel to The Strange Story of Mr. Black and Ms Gray.)

-(The Story begins HERE)-

You Can't Choose Your Relations

To be continued ...

An Immortal President

How Do Editorial Cartoonists See It?



How Does One "Birther" See It?

I had to laughingly admire the effort that someone put into the above copy of the just-released birth certificate.

I'll conclude by reiterating that Obama brought this all on himself. When he fails to be reelected, perhaps he'll sit down at home and wish he was NOT born in the United States!

COLOR IS GOOD


Yesterday I went to the doctor
For my yearly physical.
My blood pressure was high.
My cholesterol was high.
I'd gained some weight,
and I didn't feel so hot.
My doctor said eating right
doesn't have to be complicated and
it would solve my physical problems.
He said:
Just think in colors.
Fill your plate with bright colors.
Try some greens, oranges, reds,
maybe something yellow, etc.
So I went right home
and ate an entire bowl of
bright colors.

And Sure Enough,
I Felt Better Immediately !!
I never knew eating right could be so easy !!

Now stay healthy,
eat your colors,
and have a nice day.
-(Thanks, Cathy)

№ 2121