Science Fiction Musings

Continuing from where Part One left off...

#7 "Jesus of Biggleswade" in Cemetery Songs, Eldritch Cat Press

#8 "ghost town" in Twisted Trails: Tales of the Weird Wild West, Shacklebound Books

My contribution, written specifically for this call, put the ghosts into ghost town. Weirdly, the collection doesn't appear on Shacklebound's own website. Perhaps a case of simply being too quick on the draw?

#9 "…And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead. That, and T-Shirt Sales", Sometimes Hilarious Horror

# 10 "      ", Big Smoke Pulp Vol 2

Why? Maybe you should read it when it comes out. When that is, I'm not sure: it was  crowdfunded in seven minutes, but proofs were promised in November and I've yet to see them.

It's also the only story I've ever written with an interrobang, so I definitely want to see it out there.

#11 "The Adventure of the Sekhetaru Club", BFS Horizons

The story is Irene Adler's, from the Sherlock Holmes universe. Even though Holmes in now unambiguously in the pubic domain worldwide, this story of Adler and a cult of Egyptian immortal-wannabes had proved too fanfic-adjacent for many markets, which made me feel doubly foolish for investing time into it, then misaddressing it. 

Not yet published by the British Fantasy Society. Indeed, I'm yet to see a contract.

#12 "He’s Making a List", Eerie Christmas vol 4, Black Hare Press

#13 "The Salmakki Resurrection", The Daily Tomorrow

It was only sold on the 23rd of December, but a swift and professional approach means it's due out on the 13th of January. And, being a pro-paying market, it leaves me teetering on the brink of L. Ron Hubbard Writers of the Future Contest disqualification. One more 3000+ word story at over 10 cents a word, and the airlock closes on me.

Talking of WotF, it was just two honorable (sic) mentions and two unplaceds in 2025. I used to regularly get a couple of silver honorables a year. The two unplaced were long (9000 and 13000 word) stories very much written with the contest in mind, whereas the ones that were at least recognised as being okay were scrubbed up members of the rank and file of stories that regularly try their luck in the marketplace.

I've blogged about the WotF Contest previously. Given how regularly it runs, it should be something of a bellwether of how one is doing as a writer, but I still find it baffling how my results are slipping at the same time as, say, I'm getting pro sales that are undermining my eligibility.

So, 330 submissions made and, after a very slow start, thirteen sales in the year, of which all but two were original stories. Of those eleven newbies, six were drabbles and flashes under a thousand words, but the other five were 2700 words up to 5000. And two of those were at professional rates of pay (and have been paid for). Six have been published, and I only know for sure one won't see daylight, and that was a reprint. Whilst not a vintage year, that’s a return I’m quite happy with.

Otherwise it was another year waiting for my kill fee from Carrie Cuinn, and not a word out of Roxie Voorhees.

Happy New Year.

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You're here, so surely you know how?

My Thoughts are with You. Your Thoughts are with the Authorities for Calibration Against Societal Norms

Meet a man mistaken for a robot, a robot which learns the meaning of irony the hard way, a Frankenstein’s monster with a future in tailoring, a talking cat, a talking car, several time travellers, and a host of other characters.

Award-nominated science fiction and slipstream author Robert Bagnall’s second anthology of twenty-four stories, variously bleak, funny, bleakly funny or – very occasionally – optimistic.

  

2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.

“Brilliant stories, well written!” (five stars, Amazon).

Another circuit around the sun completed, another year nearer death, and another 30,000 species driven to extinction. Apparently. 

And more stories with my name in the by-line taken by publishers, those filters of taste that sit between me and you, dear reader.

#1 "Planes of Illusory", in This Exquisite Topology, Angry Gable Press

It was published in August.

#2 "Imprex Model 5233: Instruction for Use", AnomalySF

Having sold my first story of the year so quickly, I then had to wait until late May for my second, and then it was the flashiest of flashes, barely more than a drabble. I was beginning to wonder if I'd lost my mojo. If you subscribe, you can find it here: look for its 15th June publication date.

#3 "The Black Dragon", Utopia Science Fiction

"The Black Dragon" may sound like dragon-heavy swords and sorcery fantasy, but it's actually military science fiction, about soldier-droids having a sudden moment of pacifist sentience in earth's last line of defence against invading... okay, dragons. Read it in Utopia SF's August edition.

Notably, this was my one hundredth published story, and my second 'dis-qualifying' story for the purposes of the L. Ron Hubbard Writers of the Future contest. Another two 3000 word+ stories paid at over eight cents a word and I'm deemed a professional who can't enter. (Spoiler alert: see Part Two!)

#4 "Wingman(Patent Pending)" in The Big Book of Quantum Fiction, Tracy Shew

Nine days later, Tracy Shew came in for my time travel SF story, "Wingman (Patent Pending)", despite the very clear instructions in the submission guidelines that time travel was out of scope. 

Mr. Shew reminded me of this in his acceptance email:

If this snuck into our anthology it would be a mistake. A course correction. A blunt force trauma to our mission statement.

I'm confidently certain I specified "No time travel!" in the instructions. And this is classic time travel.

Now the good news: You've convinced me I may have been wrong. Yes, it is classic time travel paradox. You have obviously channeled Ray Bradbury's "The Sound of Thunder." BUT, you possibly saved yourself by your fingernails by including one genuine quantum hypothesis which has been kicked around for thirty years, and which refuses to die: The silmultaneous time streams theory, which you seem to disprove, because your ending reverts back to the grandfather paradox.

It's like you bring up the quantum theory (which should disallow the grandfather paradox) simply as justification for the Japanese inventors to sell time travel to the public as "safe." Clever.

This makes the cost of including this amazing story quite high for me. (And I'm not talking about the $24.) It would reside amongst a bunch of other stories that are like, "Yaay! Quantum theory!" Only to shout out "Boo! Quantum theory! Yaay! Einstein!"

I'm not sure what's happened to this project. Tracy said he'd be blogging on his site at least monthly, but hasn't since June, which is never a good sign. The last 'news' is from April. But contracts have been signed and payment made, so the ball's in his court and the story is for him to do with as he sees fit. I hope the anthology emerges. The last mail I had from him ended:

Thanks for instilling a touch of class in this project.

#5 "The Derring-Do Best Left Undone", in Happily Never After, Shacklebound Books

I can't believe you're making me do this, but I did really enjoy your drabble and would like to accept the monster Rapunzel and her pubic hair story for Happily Never After.

Now I know you're intrigued. So am I, actually, as I'm not entirely sure what's happened to the project. Hopefully it'll appear soon.

#6 "Knights of the Spherical Table", Rat Bag Literary

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You're here, so surely you know how?

My Thoughts are with You. Your Thoughts are with the Authorities for Calibration Against Societal Norms

Meet a man mistaken for a robot, a robot which learns the meaning of irony the hard way, a Frankenstein’s monster with a future in tailoring, a talking cat, a talking car, several time travellers, and a host of other characters.

Award-nominated science fiction and slipstream author Robert Bagnall’s second anthology of twenty-four stories, variously bleak, funny, bleakly funny or – very occasionally – optimistic.

  

2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.

“Brilliant stories, well written!” (five stars, Amazon).

I'm not a member of the Science Fiction Writers of America. Not being American, it doesn't feel appropriate, even though I appreciate they are infinitely more sane and welcoming than the Leader of the Free World at the country's helm, and I possibly have sufficient publishing credits to join. I'm not even much of an SFWA-watcher, but even I've been aware of the hokey-cokey the SFWA have danced over the issue of Large Language Models (LLMs) and Nebula nominations in the last few days.

Quoting Jason Sanford's excellent Genre Grapevine column, after allowing a degree of LLM-created content:

"Wow, what a day this was for SFWA and the Nebula Awards. After only a few hours of hearing complaints from members, SFWA undid the rule change and will not NOT allow LLM-created or partially created works to be considered for the Nebulas." 

Now, I, as an example of carbon-based, wetware heavy, natural intelligence share Jason's refusal to use LLMs. But with me, it's less a principled stand and more a cocktail of inertia, unwillingness to pay subscription fees, and a Luddite suspicion of new technology, even when that technology allows me to, say, send out an average of a story submission a day to mainly overseas publications for free, using a rather scattershot strategy and philosophy of 'something will stick' that would cripple me financially if I had to do everything hard copy and snail mail.

But, a bit of me is wondering whether the SFWA's original thinking, that LLMs should be allowed to contribute, didn't have some merit.

What is it we're objecting to, here? Surely it's not so much the act of stringing one word after another (Christ, those act twos go on forever... when will this middle end!?) but the human judgement we lay over the top. Is this a compelling story? Does it work? Are the characters' actions and decisions plausible? When should I reveal the secret at the heart of the tale? What's redundant? How can I tighten it? That's what we, as writers, are frightened of, I think: having a machine beat us at the line edit. 

So, what's the issue of allowing LLM-generated content to be incorporated, if it's a human deciding whether and how to work it in? If it's raw material for us to shape and hone? The final words are still my decision.

Let me offer a reductio ad absurdum: what if a LLM creates a new word, a neologism? Does that mean I then cannot adopt that word? Even if it were the bon mot for a particular situation, the best expression for the characters and the scenario I'm the architect of, that single word would be verboten? Surely not.

But, I hear you cry, that would never happen because LLMs merely take the raw material that's out there on the interweb already. They cannot create, not in its truest, fullest sense. They cannot, by whatever digital alchemy, cook up a completely new word. (Irony warning: I asked Google whether LLMs can create a new word, and the AI overview was: "Yes, a Large Language Model (LLM) can absolutely create new words by combining existing parts, blending concepts, or generating novel combinations of sounds/letters", but I was thinking less of portmanteauing (hey, is that a word?) existing words, and more of a creating an ur-word from the ether. I'm still not convinced that's in their wheelhouse.)

It strikes me, that if we really believe that LLMs can only ever average out its range of inputs, improving on mediocrity but never coming close to the best, then we have little to fear. If we back ourselves as authors, we'll always beat the machines.

But what if the machines can use our best as a jumping-off point, to go places that we can't even dream of? What then?

One of the other hats I wear is as a human resources professional. I've always believed HR people should focus on upskilling the business to the point where the value they add diminishes and the business can run as efficiently and effectively without them. They should continually aim to make themselves redundant, mumbling under their breath, 'My work here is done'.

It's the same with LLMs. If we think there's even a possibility LLMs may produce better outcomes for readers, then we owe it to readers to give the LLMs the best possible chance of doing so, by sharing the best of what we produce for the models to learn from. We don't have weavers in cottages any more, because factories in China do it better. If we're professional, rather than hobby, authors, the logic's the same. 

So, my Christmas message to you is lean into the future. Give the machines the best of your creation so that they can give us the best of theirs. God knows they're going to take it anyway...

Happy Christmas.

Click on the images or search on Amazon.

You're here, so surely you know how?

My Thoughts are with You. Your Thoughts are with the Authorities for Calibration Against Societal Norms

Meet a man mistaken for a robot, a robot which learns the meaning of irony the hard way, a Frankenstein’s monster with a future in tailoring, a talking cat, a talking car, several time travellers, and a host of other characters.

Award-nominated science fiction and slipstream author Robert Bagnall’s second anthology of twenty-four stories, variously bleak, funny, bleakly funny or – very occasionally – optimistic.

  

2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.

“Brilliant stories, well written!” (five stars, Amazon).

It's been a while since I gave you a war story from the frontline of feeding the beast that is small press publishing. Putting aside my rant over Roxie Voorhees' Negative Creep project (I notice the links that worked then no longer do), this one from eighteen months ago may possibly have been the last, and it wasn't much of a war story as it was about a piece which was published by very nice people to deal with.

So, let me tell you about my Alice in Wonderland experience of dealing with Sometime Hilarious Horror, which describes itself as "a magazine that's exactly what it sounds like". It's not much of a war story, but you're welcome to it.

It's a token-paying market, but takes reprints, so back in March I thought I'd try them with "And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead. That, and T-Shirt Sales", which first appeared in Mystery and Horror LLC's 'Strangely Funny IX'. I'm more than happy when a hard-to-access story gets a bit more airtime.

Come October, I had a very nice email from an assistant editor called Amy offering to publish it in a future edition. So far, so sweet.

Attached to Amy's email is a contract, written in black on a dark blue background. Slightly less sweet.

When I reformat it so it can actually be read, it all gets a bit strange. I'm not intending to give you each and every clause, but let's start with para 1a:

1. (a) The Work. This Agreement pertains solely to (insert author's name), (heretofore known as the Author)'s textual work titled "(insert title)” for publication in Sometimes Hilarious Horror (heretofore known as Magazine) as a Guest Author.

Heretofore. It means "before now". So, what this contract says is that up to now I was known as 'the Author', and by signing this I get to be called Robert Bagnall, and their previously nameless publication gets a title. 

No, what they really mean is 'hereafter'. 

I'm suspecting a liking for legalese without actually thinking through what it means, but no worries, I'll point out what's just an inadvertent word choice error. (And I'll hold my hands up to having had my bio claim or some years two short story 'anthologies' when I should have meant 'collections'. My thanks to Black Hare Press for pointing this egregious error out in a recent edit).

2. (a) The Work, heretofore known as the Work] to the Publisher for inclusion in Magazine, for publication in the English language. The rights granted under the terms of this paragraph shall be exclusive for a period of 1 year following the first date of publication under this paragraph and nonexclusive thereafter.

(b) Electronic Rights: The Author grants first world electronic print rights to the Publisher to include the Work in Sometimes Hilarious Horror, for publication in the English language. This will include distribution in pdf and epub format for subscribers, our website, and free giveaways.

The rights granted under the terms of this paragraph shall be exclusive for a period of 1 year following the release of the first digital publication.

Print Rights: The Author grants first serial print rights as of publication under this paragraph and non-exclusive thereafter...

3. (a) The Author agrees not to publish or permit others to publish the Work in the English language in the US prior to its initial publication in the Magazine.

And then there's a weird mishmash further down mixing up payments for originals and reprints.

This obviously doesn't work. You can't offer exclusivity for something that's already in circulation. You can't offer first print rights twice. I can't prevent prior publication that's already happened.

Okay, okay, I think. What they've sent me is a contract for an original piece, or a weird original/reprint mongrel, and what I need is a reprint contract. I email back, saying:

Great news, thanks. Just wanted to check that the contract (which doesn't read well on my iPad) is the right one for reprints. It mentions payments for both original and reprint stories, but I seem to be signing up to give you first print rights, which have gone.

Amy's reply:

We don’t get first print right on a reprint, but we do hold the rights for one year as stated in the contract. 

Hmmm. There's a gap between intentions and what the contract says, and even if there's only $10 at stake, I suspect the contract takes precedence and I'd like to sign up to what I have to offer. And exclusivity and first serial rights aren't on that list, but the contract clearly says these are mine to trade. 

Just so I don't need to find out what Michigan justice feels like (mighty cold, at a guess), I think I'll do them a favour and rewrite the contract so it works for reprints. I spend a bit of time on it, as a favour. A favour. They can use it for all their reprints. I may not be a lawyer, but it'll be an improvement on the word salad they're using now, I think.

I email them a redrafted contract.

Big sometime hilarious chief Wednesday Friday (is that what her birth certificate says? really?) comes back:

As our contract doesn’t work for you, we’ll be rescinding our publication offer. Thank you for your time.

A one-liner. That's it. Talk to the hand.

My last email:

Okay... but it doesn't work for any reprint.

Correspondence closed.

#

Click on the images or search on Amazon.

You're here, so surely you know how?

My Thoughts are with You. Your Thoughts are with the Authorities for Calibration Against Societal Norms

Meet a man mistaken for a robot, a robot which learns the meaning of irony the hard way, a Frankenstein’s monster with a future in tailoring, a talking cat, a talking car, several time travellers, and a host of other characters.

Award-nominated science fiction and slipstream author Robert Bagnall’s second anthology of twenty-four stories, variously bleak, funny, bleakly funny or – very occasionally – optimistic.

  

2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.

“Brilliant stories, well written!” (five stars, Amazon). 

…so is Christmas.

...from Black Hare Press.

Click on the images or search on Amazon.

You're here, so surely you know how?

My Thoughts are with You. Your Thoughts are with the Authorities for Calibration Against Societal Norms

Meet a man mistaken for a robot, a robot which learns the meaning of irony the hard way, a Frankenstein’s monster with a future in tailoring, a talking cat, a talking car, several time travellers, and a host of other characters.

Award-nominated science fiction and slipstream author Robert Bagnall’s second anthology of twenty-four stories, variously bleak, funny, bleakly funny or – very occasionally – optimistic.

  

2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.
“Brilliant stories, well written!” (five stars, Amazon).